Tag: pastor

Fred Stein, 'Children reading newspaper' 1936

Wonkagenda: September 15, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!
Something about being wrapped in the flag and carrying a cross...

Trump’s Pastor Pal Wants Godless Jew Bernie Sanders To Meet His Friend Jesus

We're starting to wonder if maybe this Trump thing is getting out of hand, just a little maybe. Call it a hunch. Oh, sure, there's always been the xenophobia, the hatred, the lies, the gratuitous violence, and the candidate's...

Pastor Sure Government Is Fricasseeing Aborted Children With Guns, Or Something

We had to thumb back through the old Wonkette archives, getting virtual ink all over our fingers, to figure out if we had ever heard of this particular brand of gibbering idiot, evangelical edition. Weirdly, this is our first...
First they came for the biathletes and I said nothing...

Lindsey Graham Says Being Confederate Loser Racists Is Just Part Of Who We Are, Y’all

Southern gentleman Lindsey Graham would like all y'all to kindly leave his state of South Carolina and its proud heritage alone. Sure, some people think it's despicable that the Confederate freak flag still flies over the state capitol --...
Sad Jebbers is sadness.

Jeb Bush Doesn’t Wanna Believe Racist Murderer Is Racist, And You Can’t Make Him

It really is OK to say that the massacre of nine African Americans in their church was a racially motivated hate crime. How do we know? Because Dylann Roof, the confessed murderer, said so. There's no need to speculate...
Confederate flag plates just a coincidence

Dylann Roof Confesses To Murdering 9 To Start Race War, Real Motive Still Unknown

Perhaps now we can stop looking for some way to explain how a young white man murdering nine people in a black church -- after telling his victims he was there to kill black people and "you have to...

President Obama Divides Nation, Says Charleston Shooting Involved Gun

President Obama spoke briefly about the church shooting in Charleston that left nine dead, in what the Department of Justice and other authorities are investigating as a hate crime. There's no official word from the feds on what kind...
Same as it ever was.

Fox News Condemns Vicious Hate Crime In Charleston — Against Christians

This is something you don't see every day. Or ever. But the dimwits at "Fox & Friends" are quite upset about an alleged hate crime committed by a white man that left nine people dead in Charleston, South Carolina....

Gunman Kills 9 At Black Church In Charleston, Clearly An Isolated Incident

A white gunman sat and prayed for an hour with members of Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, South Carolina, on Wednesday night, then started shooting. Nine people are dead, including the church's pastor, Rev. Clementa Pinckney, who...
Male supremacy: An idea whose time may at last be here

Florida Pastor Has A Penis, Like Adam, Moses, Jesus, And All Real Leaders

Meet Pastor Bill Lytell of the Gospel Baptist Church in Bonita Springs, Florida. He's got a pretty fab new insight into how God wants things to work: Men should always be the boss of ladies, and not ever the...
Oh bother, oh Baphomet.

Christian Town In Michigan Being Ensorcelled By Atheist Demon-Man, Smallfolk Panick

The malign presence of Mitch Kahle, a confessed atheist witch-demon, has placed the Goodchristian town of Norton Shores, Michigan, in a Peril of losing its magick protections against evil. Kahle has already used his darck maege powers to beguile the...
We all have our right cross to bear

Pastor Remembers That Time He Punched Jesus Right Into A Kid

Pastor Eric Dammann has an inspirational story about the time he punched a smart-aleck kid right in the chest, bringing him to the Lord. You know, like when Jesus said, "Let your left hand not know what your right...
Now grab the back of your TV set...

Pervy Nonagenarian Televangelist Did … Oh Jesus Christ

It's been a while since we've heard from the faith-healing ministry leader and televangelist Ernest Angley, who was also the the real-life inspiration for Robin Williams's classic "Reverend Earnest Angry." Until 35 years later, when Monday we read that Rev....

Author Of Excellent ‘Stop Being Gay’ Book Arrested For Molesting Teen Boy, Allegedly, Again

A Pittsburgh pastor who wrote a not-quite-bestselling book about his successful struggle to become a former gay has been arrested for sexually assaulting a teenaged boy. On the one hand, it looks like pretty strong evidence that attempts to...

Pastor Challenging Lindsey Graham Is A Dumb Piece Of Crap And Here’s Why

Ladies, it’s all your fault. Hopefully you realize this by now, because all the evidence is clear, and there is literally nothing that cannot be blamed on you. Like how you will divorce your husband just because he is...

Gay Marriage Murdering Straight Marriage After All. Whoops.

Hey, when we're wrong, we're wrong. And so it is that for the past 20 years (we were a VERY early adopter), when we asserted that gay marriage was awesome and anybody who had a problem with it was...