Good gravy, the GAZONGA COLLECTORS are after former California Biddie of the Year CARRIE PREJEAN! Poor Carrie signed a six-month lease on her enormous ta-ta job, but now she doesn’t want to make the monthly payments because seriously, what is DONALD TRUMP going to do, repossess her boobs? Like the Good Book says, The Trump giveth and The Trump taketh away … MORE »

Former Ohio Congressman Bob Ney, famous for accepting all bribes from Jack Abramoff when he was ripping off those Indians, finished his 30-month prison sentence in August — surprise! — after 17 months in prison. He is now under “supervision” at his Columbus home. But that is no way for a man of leisure to live his life, of course! So it turns out he’s requested a passport, and received one (from a judge!), and now refuses to talk to the press. Looks like we’ve got a runner, America! YOU BOYS LIKE MEX-EE-CO? [WTOV 9]

Barack Obama was so happy when the news about his passport breach came out yesterday — that was worth at least 10 Unfair Victim Points for him, about 30 shy of the amount he needs to bury this Jeremiah Wright hoopla. Now, however, it appears that passport breaches are not unique to him, but yet another aspect of the Old Politics: Hillary Clinton and John McCain’s passport files have also been breached! The State Department is racist, sexist and ageist. And racism and sexism are bad! MORE »

Apparently, there is a government agency in charge of passports that is actually more incompetent than our own. Yay! The Israeli Ministry of the Interior was forced to issue this typo-laden advertisement [which we found on The Jerusalem Diaries] to make up for the fact that it issued some unknown number of typo-laden passports to Israelis. Now if only they could issue more statements or passports with even more typos, our government might actually start to take on the veneer of competency! [Yahoo News]

In a potential sign that at least some of our elected officials understand what a clusterfuck it has been to suddenly require passports to come/go from Canada, Mexico and the Caribbean by plane, and what further levels of clusterfuckery will be established by requiring every person to get one to cross the border by land, Congress is attempting to force the Administration to put off implementing the land-entry requirement until 2009. The Administration is opposing it, of course, because colossal clusterfucks are their legacy. [Yahoo News]

Jealous of all the attention the U.S. and UK are getting for their magnificent data security breaches, Canada stepped up its own efforts to join in with the other cool kids. Naturally, their screw-up was less than spectacular, to say the least.

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