Tag Archives: parties

  wonkette inaugural ball

Finally, Sexy Sexy Pictures Of Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball 2009!

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t have ALL the excitement. Now let’s check out some sexytime photos for you losers who didn’t fly in for this one night or were too cold to leave your houses. Read more on Finally, Sexy Sexy Pictures Of Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball 2009!…
  sexytime

Send Us Your Inaugural Ball Photos!

OMG we just had so much fun, right, at Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball last night. Just soooooooooo much fun. Packed, it was! Now, between (a) your associate editor’s lack of a camera and (b) your associate editor’s hour-long absence from the party after the kegs ran out at midnight, when he and Liz drove to HYATTSVILLE, MARYLAND to locate more alcohol (unsuccessful, although there was liquor in abundance when when we returned, somehow, hooray)… your associate editor doesn’t have enough photos. Please send yr sexy party pixxx to tips@wonkette.com, subject line “MOAR,” and we’ll do a longer picture post tomorrowish. Thanks to everyone who came! Read more on Send Us Your Inaugural Ball Photos!…
  whoa hey

IMPORTANT SEXYTIME INFORMATION: Okay so a full 10.9 million people plan on attending Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball tomorrow night at the yoga studio of the Washington Times‘ Liz Glover. Hooray! A few people have asked questions. (1) There is no “dress code,” so wear jeans or other common pants, or skirts, and festive tops. (2) We will have a few kegs but all liquor is BYO. (3) If you vomit on the floor then your full name and occupation will be posted on this website. Ha! What fun we shall have! [FACEBOOK EVENT PAGE] Read more on …
  to-do

Wonkette Official Special Inaugural Mid-Week Programme

In the history of Weeks, never has there been so much fun to be had on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays. Now, in honor of President Barry, all the parties on Earth have come to DC, making for a very special a To-Do: Wonkette’s Official Inaugural Mid-Week Programme. Read more on Wonkette Official Special Inaugural Mid-Week Programme…
  major historical announcements

Come To Wonkette’s Patriotic Inaugural Ball This Friday!

To honor Barack Obama’s swearing-in as the first Luo president of America, ever, your Wonkette is hosting a sexy sexy party this Friday — yes, the one that’s in two days! Ha ha! And it’s free for everyone, with the musics and the alcohols. America’s videographer Liz Glover will play host at her very own yoga studio to boot! Oh boy! Details! Read more on Come To Wonkette’s Patriotic Inaugural Ball This Friday!…
  thrifty celebrations

Happy Hobo New Year!

Back in the day, people would ring in the New Year the old fashioned way: by scoring an eight ball, buying a $5,000 VIP table at a Miami Beach party hosted by a fancy young rap impresario, and having sex in a jacuzzi with a half-dozen hot Brazilian models while smoking cigars made out of hundred-dollar bills. But this year, with everybody impoverished and starving, festivities were looking a little slimmer. Read more on Happy Hobo New Year!…
  to-do

Happiness Is A Warm Gunn

There are many exciting things to do this weekend, this freezing, rainy, middle-of-December weekend. For example: a concert at a pizza place. That’s something new. Oh, and Tim Gunn, the “distinguished one” from Project Runway will be in town promoting some charity thing, for gays. Get liquored up and ask questions about Heidi Klum. Read more on Happiness Is A Warm Gunn…
  coal for everyone

Joint Chiefs Chairman Cancels His Sexy Naked XXXmas Party

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Mike Mullen, and his lovely wife, “Mrs. Mike,” are canceling their annual Christmas soiree for various local warlords and celebrities such as Kid Rock — Because Of The Recession. Curses! We had just purchased our Barry Goldwater costumes, too. Instead, “the Mullens will host a small gathering for wounded service members, their families, and the families of the fallen.” Oh that is so Washington of them, hiding behind the pwecious SOLDIERS. Will Kid Rock be there, though? [Washington Whispers] Read more on Joint Chiefs Chairman Cancels His Sexy Naked XXXmas Party…
  oh jesus

LNS To Host ‘Black People’-Themed Party!

Oh boy howdy here’s a winner of a party from our special friends at Late Night Shots, the exclusive invite-only social networking club for glib Georgetown trust-funders whose hearts belong to the Confederacy. The members were recently inspired by the playful cultural activities of the slaves on their plantations, and they’ve decided to throw an ironic version for themselves! HA HA HA, see it’s an AWESOME and hilarious idea for a party, because they’re pretending to be like black people!! Read more on LNS To Host ‘Black People’-Themed Party!…
  to-do

Paradise Regained

The weekend is, fundamentally, a series of days, two days, in which Americans have a choice — an important choice — for the states, federally. But even not all Americans are going to agree, absolutely, so that’s why we have choices in terms of the law of the land, in this great nation of Alas– America. The United States. For all people really, and John McCain has always said culture is the key to, embracing America, on a state level, for the good folks in Washington DC. Read more on Paradise Regained…
  metro section

A Number Of Sad Truths Concerning Breakfast

Say goodbye to all the zeitgeist-y cover stories in your City Paper. [The Georgetown Voice] Here is a nauseating list of all eggs and ice cream and coffee that famous Washington celebrities eat upon waking. [DCist] Read more on A Number Of Sad Truths Concerning Breakfast…
  sex parties

Virginia Lieutenant Governor Not Happy With ‘Dildo Bingo’ Literature

“A campaign official for the Virginia Lieutenant Governor cancelled an order for 150 guidebooks to entertainment in Minneapolis-St. Paul after discovering they included a 6-8 page section for gay and lesbian nightclubs. …[The publisher’s] website features information and listings for an array of nightlife activities for gays and lesbians in the Minneapolis area, including ‘queer speed dating,’ trivia night, and dildo bingo.” Aww, now the Lieutenant Governor will have to play dildo bingo by himself. Jesus never meant for this. [ABC News] Read more on Virginia Lieutenant Governor Not Happy With ‘Dildo Bingo’ Literature…
  corrupt republican parties

Tom DeLay Schmoozes With Republican Lobbyists During Nazi Racist Hurricane

Your associate editor took a long, expensive cab ride to a party at the club Aqua, in Minneapolis, and, despite having a ticket, was rejected. SAD. Here’s what happened: this thieving piece of trash “security” tranny asked us whether we were with the media before we even entered the line, and then told us we weren’t “on the media list.” Shortly thereafter we procured our regular, non-media ticket and were about to enter until, then, this same tranny told us we could not enter because she already “knew” we were with the media. “I have the right to revoke the ticket, this is a private affair, no media,” spaketh the tranny. Well, fine. But did she think we didn’t know what was going on in there? Read more on Tom DeLay Schmoozes With Republican Lobbyists During Nazi Racist Hurricane…
  who killed tim russert?

Wonkette Interviews Matt Yglesias At Utne Reader Party

Here is some footage of blogger Matt Yglesias talking about fallen American hero Tim Russert. (Matt once wrote about how unbearably inane Russert was, and then Russert died three weeks later, and everybody on the Internet hated Matt for being so insensitive the end.) We made this poor fellow say terrible things for the camera by promising him beers, which were free, at the Summit Brewing Company last night. Thanks Utne Reader for the fun party! [Matthew Yglesias, YouTube] Read more on Wonkette Interviews Matt Yglesias At Utne Reader Party…
  disasters

Distant Hurricane Also Ruining St. Paul Parties

John McCain has bravely declared that all Republicans must put on their “American hats” and, at least for this week, pretend to care about Americans or black people or whatever. As a result, the hotels and convention center are buzzing with the most horrible kind of rumor: A whole bunch of RNC cocktail parties and coke fests are being canceled. Jesus, could anything so terrible possibly be true? Read more on Distant Hurricane Also Ruining St. Paul Parties…
  incarcerations

WATCH YR CORNHOLE BUD: Ha, this dude we met at a cigar and liquor (and dildo) party the other night was comically arrested, covering “the role of corporate lobbyists and wealthy donors at the convention for a series of Money Trail reports” for ABC News. Well, when we saw him, he was just throwin’ those drinks down and taking pictures of the bar band, and smoking cigars. Then again there were creepy members of Congress there sidling up to the (surprising amount of) hot ass in town. But now our poor friend from ABC News is in jail for taking their pictures. We’ll see you on the other side, Asa. [TV Newser] Read more on …
  more fun to stay home

CONVENTION PARTIES ARE TERRIBLE: Bill Maher doesn’t want people getting up while he does his comedy act, so people weren’t allowed to go outside for a cigarette at Rolling Stone‘s condom party. [The Field] Read more on …
  bring your own lampshade

SPEAKING OF CONVENTION PARTY TIME: Regarding this, about the fancy cocktail parties in Denver and St. Paul, Wonkette is not seeing quite enough invitations. We’ll need four invites for all the fun things, thanks, and then we’ll post the sexy pictures here. [The Hill] Read more on …
  no parties for you

John McCain Too Popular To Party With Us

We were so excited about the MCCAIN NATION, and yet our very first request to attend a McCain party was stone cold rejected. The Straight Talk Express minces no words when it comes to telling its fans a particular event has reached capacity! A similar email from the Obama campaign would have had the subject line, “Barack Obama Wants To Meet With You In Person And Make Out With You,” and then a big long paragraph about how great you look in that outfit, and then a request for money, and then at the end one very quick sentence: “By the way please try to come to a different event, because this one is full.” Read more on John McCain Too Popular To Party With Us…
  the war on paultards

Your Exciting Preview Of The Ron Paul March On D.C.!

The only worthwhile event in Washington all summer is finally happening this weekend: The R[EVOL]UTION MARCH, in support of failed presidential candidate Dr. Ron Paul, in which he will be joining the most Paultarded of Paultards in a march along Constitution Ave. — that, my friends, is not an accident — to the Capitol, which they will firebomb with flaming crossbows. We will proudly be attending this Saturday. Details! Read more on Your Exciting Preview Of The Ron Paul March On D.C.!…
 

Wonkette’s Liz Glover Joins Legion Of Washington Football Groupies

Wonkette videographer Liz Glover is rapidly becoming the most famous person in Washington, D.C., and if you need proof, here she is partying with our city’s racist football team, the Redskins. She scored an invite to the 28th birthday party for Santana Moss, a very talented footballer! She meets a number of other All Stars there too — including Moss’ brother, “Sinorice” — and asks them about all the tragic hazing they play on the rookies, many of whom will be scarred permanently and later settle for dead-end jobs as Hill staffers. [Examiner] Read more on Wonkette’s Liz Glover Joins Legion Of Washington Football Groupies…
 

Washington Gears Up For White House Correspondents Parties!

This Saturday is the annual White House Correspondents Association dinner in Washington D.C., a.k.a. former Wonkette editor Alex Pareene’s favorite night of the year! And as in previous years, your Wonkette will not be going to the stupid dinner but will be attending after parties thrown by various Main Stream Media publications and networks. One of the most select is the Bloomberg party, the organizers of which HAVE NOT RETURNED OUR E-MAIL YET but did let this random DUDE in who obviously plans on cheating on his boyfriend, with a Wingboy. [Craigslist] Read more on Washington Gears Up For White House Correspondents Parties!…