Ronald Reagan is still alive and breathing and administrating, if nowhere but in the minds of desperate conservatives. Even young conservatives have Reagan Creationism Syndrome, and will be exhibiting the symptoms of it en masse at Reaganpalooza, a celebration of the “the man, the legend” at the Hawk and Dove on Saturday, February 28th.

Finding new music is hard & sucky work, so let other people do it for you. The Mix Institute, a DC music exchange group, throws parties every couple months to bring people together to share music. Founders Alex Westerfield and Drew Gardner, two twenty-something music lovers, used to attend similar exchange parties in college, and […]

MONEY ORGIES  9:09 am February 10, 2009

Actual Stimulus Party Report!

by Sara K. Smith

Well, third time’s a charm! Finally, one of you people out of the several hundred MILLION worldwide who claim to be Obama supporters held an actual “talk about our nation’s ruined economy” party, complete with a creepy guest appearance by Tim Kaine’s eyebrow.

So the absolute most worthless people on this rotten planet are liberals, filthy rat-sucking liberals, particularly limousine liberals from liberal Hollywood and their east coast enablers, the Non-Profit Outreach Directors. They get together for these Red Bull-fueled art parties on either coast a couple of times a year to literally masturbate to themselves. They have […]

Two of George W. Bush’s favorite lovers, Andy Card and John Bolten, held a fancy party where everybody got to pay $5 to french the outgoing president. They held the party in Maryland, of course, where the Law still allows those types of things.

As you all have read various times on this blog, Wonkette, we hosted an Inaugural Ball Friday to commemorate the first president, Barack Obama. Hundreds of people showed up just in time for the bathroom to break completely. Liz Glover even showed up to her party, eventually! No one was killed, but hey, we can’t […]

OMG we just had so much fun, right, at Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball last night. Just soooooooooo much fun. Packed, it was! Now, between (a) your associate editor’s lack of a camera and (b) your associate editor’s hour-long absence from the party after the kegs ran out at midnight, when he and Liz drove to HYATTSVILLE, […]

WHOA HEY  9:44 pm January 15, 2009

by Jim Newell

IMPORTANT SEXYTIME INFORMATION: Okay so a full 10.9 million people plan on attending Wonkette’s Inaugural Ball tomorrow night at the yoga studio of the Washington Times‘ Liz Glover. Hooray! A few people have asked questions. (1) There is no “dress code,” so wear jeans or other common pants, or skirts, and festive tops. (2) We […]

In the history of Weeks, never has there been so much fun to be had on Sundays, Mondays and Tuesdays. Now, in honor of President Barry, all the parties on Earth have come to DC, making for a very special a To-Do: Wonkette’s Official Inaugural Mid-Week Programme.

To honor Barack Obama’s swearing-in as the first Luo president of America, ever, your Wonkette is hosting a sexy sexy party this Friday — yes, the one that’s in two days! Ha ha! And it’s free for everyone, with the musics and the alcohols. America’s videographer Liz Glover will play host at her very own […]

Back in the day, people would ring in the New Year the old fashioned way: by scoring an eight ball, buying a $5,000 VIP table at a Miami Beach party hosted by a fancy young rap impresario, and having sex in a jacuzzi with a half-dozen hot Brazilian models while smoking cigars made out of […]

TO-DO  5:17 pm December 11, 2008

Happiness Is A Warm Gunn

by Juli Weiner

There are many exciting things to do this weekend, this freezing, rainy, middle-of-December weekend. For example: a concert at a pizza place. That’s something new. Oh, and Tim Gunn, the “distinguished one” from Project Runway will be in town promoting some charity thing, for gays. Get liquored up and ask questions about Heidi Klum.

The Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Adm. Mike Mullen, and his lovely wife, “Mrs. Mike,” are canceling their annual Christmas soiree for various local warlords and celebrities such as Kid Rock — Because Of The Recession. Curses! We had just purchased our Barry Goldwater costumes, too. Instead, “the Mullens will host a small […]

Oh boy howdy here’s a winner of a party from our special friends at Late Night Shots, the exclusive invite-only social networking club for glib Georgetown trust-funders whose hearts belong to the Confederacy. The members were recently inspired by the playful cultural activities of the slaves on their plantations, and they’ve decided to throw an […]

TO-DO  3:37 pm October 2, 2008

Paradise Regained

by Juli Weiner

The weekend is, fundamentally, a series of days, two days, in which Americans have a choice — an important choice — for the states, federally. But even not all Americans are going to agree, absolutely, so that’s why we have choices in terms of the law of the land, in this great nation of Alas– […]