parties
Why Are You Not Partying With Your Editirx In Glamorous Los Angeles, Right Now?
PEOPLE! We just heard from your Editrix, who is at her party at Busby’s East! This is at 5364 Wilshire Blvd., in Los Angeles, as if you don’t know. (323) 525-2615 is the phone number. Anyway she is “making new friends” which based on past antics might have wacky consequences. So go join her, for [...]
It Is Not Very Hard To Get Kicked Out Of A Politico Party Apparently
Tampa, Day Something – We had just gotten a small glass of Bulleit (the greatest bourbon) from the very sweet twenty-nothing barkeep, when a lady, who just moments before had gotten what looked to be a lovely pinot grigio, walked over and told us the bar was closed. Oh, okay, certainly! we said as we [...]
Barack Obama Now Destroying Your Liberty By Throwing Fabulous Food Stamp Parties
First they gave us Pre-Existing-Condition Insurance Plans, and I said nothing, because I had a pre-existing condition and now I have insurance with no lifetime or annual limit for $244 a month. Now how is Barack Hussein Nobama trying to be worse than Hitler + 9/11 x the tsunami + Fukushima? By trying to increase [...]
Important Wonkette Party Announcement, About Parties And Your Wonkette
The Wonkette Drinky Meetup Salons begin with a party one week from today in Los Angeles, California. (Next up will be Detroit in early June. You excited, Detroit? When’s the last time someone came to see you? Long time, right? Here, let us wipe your tears and hand you a xanax.) All comers are welcome, [...]
Liveblogging the Sorry State of the Union! Which Is Still Around!
Yo yo yo! We are not hosting a children’s Game of Thrones-themed birthday party with Obama as the entertainment/clown, as this picture might indicate. But we ARE conveying to you the state of the State of the Union of 2012! Which — here that thing is. The boring old Oval Office has already LEAKED INFORMATIONS [...]
Wonkette Infiltrates Daily Caller Bow Tie Kegger
You are probably unaware — because you are an ignorant liberal — but Tucker Carlson bought his Internet website a “kegerator,” which is a made-up word for a fancy contraption that pees beer. Anyway: Now the Daily Caller is always boozing on the job and occasionally these winos even invite other people to booze with [...]
Congressional Candidate Plans Out Private Birth Certificate Viewing
Look, Michigan Congressional candidate Tim Walberg will take President Obama “at his word” that he’s an American citizen. But that doesn’t mean Obama can’t have some fun with his birth certificate! Walberg is just thinking out loud here, but Obama should probably invite “Rush Limbaugh, Alan Colmes, Nancy Pelosi, Mitch McConnell, and maybe one justice [...]
Party Crashing: Wonkette Makes Real-Life Appearance At Hirshhorn Hipster-Fest
Every few months, the Hirshhorn Museum charges local hipsters to look at art that is free to look at every other day of the year. After paying, the hipsters must wait in line to then wait in line some more to buy drinks and to dance with Summer Camp, DC’s favorite drag queen, at the [...]
David Frum Wants Your Snuggie (With You In It?)
Constantly fired conservative David Frum is throwing an ironical party for himself, after his latest firing from the American Enterprise Institute, where his liberal “we should negotiate in good faith with the majority party” views didn’t please prospective donors. He is now very unemployed, having only five or six regular columnist jobs. And what about [...]
John Kerry’s Drunk Daughter Busted In Hollywood
Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus’ birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: “It’s the holiday season, which means the Northern Virginia suburbs Hollywood are is going to be particularly deadly until January [...]
Bill Clinton Celebrates His Birthday Early
Former president Bill Clinton gathered together a bunch of his dude friends and celebrated his 63rd birthday in Las Vegas eating steaks cut from the loins of actual angels and topped with a port wine reduction. Guests included rum-soaked popinjay Terry McAuliffe and Steve Bing, that guy who impregnated Liz Hurley once. Clinton’s “real” birthday [...]
An Interview With Grant Ginder, Writer Of Washington Fictions
Your Wonkette recently had the pleasure of interviewing Center for American Progress speechwriter and “nouveau literature author” Grant Ginder, who’s just had his first novel, This Is How It Starts, published by Simon and Schuster. It’s in book stores everywhere! But what is it about? The novel follows young Taylor Mark, who moves to Washington [...]
Palin Locked In DEATH MATCH With Republican Fundraisers
Will Sarah Palin appear at a fancy fundraiser tonight for the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee? No way in hell, unless she changes her mind! First she was invited to headline at the event, and she said yes, but then she said no because she was so “overexposed,” so events [...]
Wonkette Eats Fancy Dinner With Important Journalistic Reporters And Slimeball Politicians
On Monday night your two Wonkette associate editors attended a Dinner Party thrown by the digest The Week, called The Week Opinion Awards, and we’re only posting about it now because hey, shut up. It was somewhat “A-List,” meaning (a) why the poo were we invited and (b) why the poo did we go? Because [...]
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