Tag: parties

Happy Birthday Pat Robertson, You Are Not Dead!

Pat Robertson had a birthday on Sunday, and there was a party! It was a very nice party, and just like all balls-out birthday benders do, it had a keynote speaker named Dr. Ben Carson. (Yes, THAT Dr. Ben...

Sexy Florida Church Must Pay Taxes On All-Night Naked Beach Parties, Unfair!

Imagine you are a center of Legitimate Jesus Worship during the day, and a center of NEKKID BEACH PARTIES at night, because this is part of your "ministry." You would be the Life Center: A Spiritual Community church, in...

Why Are You Not Partying With Your Editirx In Glamorous Los Angeles, Right Now?

PEOPLE! We just heard from your Editrix, who is at her party at Busby’s East! This is at 5364 Wilshire Blvd., in Los Angeles, as if you don't know. (323) 525-2615 is the phone number. Anyway she...

It Is Not Very Hard To Get Kicked Out Of A Politico Party Apparently

Tampa, Day Something -- We had just gotten a small glass of Bulleit (the greatest bourbon) from the very sweet twenty-nothing barkeep, when a lady, who just moments before had gotten what looked to be a lovely pinot grigio, walked...

Barack Obama Now Destroying Your Liberty By Throwing Fabulous Food Stamp Parties

First they gave us Pre-Existing-Condition Insurance Plans, and I said nothing, because I had a pre-existing condition and now I have insurance with no lifetime or annual limit for $244 a month. Now how is Barack Hussein Nobama trying...

Important Wonkette Party Announcement, About Parties And Your Wonkette

The Wonkette Drinky Meetup Salons begin with a party one week from today in Los Angeles, California. (Next up will be Detroit in early June. You excited, Detroit? When's the last time someone came to see you? Long time,...

Liveblogging the Sorry State of the Union! Which Is Still Around!

Yo yo yo! We are not hosting a children's Game of Thrones-themed birthday party with Obama as the entertainment/clown, as this picture might indicate. But we ARE conveying to you the state of the State of the Union of...

Wonkette Infiltrates Daily Caller Bow Tie Kegger

You are probably unaware -- because you are an ignorant liberal -- but Tucker Carlson bought his Internet website a "kegerator," which is a made-up word for a fancy contraption that pees beer. Anyway: Now the Daily Caller is...

Congressional Candidate Plans Out Private Birth Certificate Viewing

Look, Michigan Congressional candidate Tim Walberg will take President Obama "at his word" that he's an American citizen. But that doesn't mean Obama can't have some fun with his birth certificate! Walberg is just thinking out loud here, but...

Party Crashing: Wonkette Makes Real-Life Appearance At Hirshhorn Hipster-Fest

Every few months, the Hirshhorn Museum charges local hipsters to look at art that is free to look at every other day of the year. After paying, the hipsters must wait in line to then wait in line some...

David Frum Wants Your Snuggie (With You In It?)

Constantly fired conservative David Frum is throwing an ironical party for himself, after his latest firing from the American Enterprise Institute, where his liberal "we should negotiate in good faith with the majority party" views didn't please prospective donors....

John Kerry’s Drunk Daughter Busted In Hollywood

Oh jeez we will have to rewrite this lede to cover the (allegedly!) drunken Democrats who will all be arrested in Hollywood every night until Jesus' birthday and the New Year are safely behind us: "It's the holiday season,...

Bill Clinton Celebrates His Birthday Early

Former president Bill Clinton gathered together a bunch of his dude friends and celebrated his 63rd birthday in Las Vegas eating steaks cut from the loins of actual angels and topped with a port wine reduction. Guests included rum-soaked...

An Interview With Grant Ginder, Writer Of Washington Fictions

Your Wonkette recently had the pleasure of interviewing Center for American Progress speechwriter and "nouveau literature author" Grant Ginder, who's just had his first novel, This Is How It Starts, published by Simon and Schuster. It's in book stores...

Palin Locked In DEATH MATCH With Republican Fundraisers

Will Sarah Palin appear at a fancy fundraiser tonight for the National Republican Congressional Committee and the National Republican Senatorial Committee? No way in hell, unless she changes her mind! First she was invited to headline at the event,...

Wonkette Eats Fancy Dinner With Important Journalistic Reporters And Slimeball Politicians

On Monday night your two Wonkette associate editors attended a Dinner Party thrown by the digest The Week, called The Week Opinion Awards, and we're only posting about it now because hey, shut up. It was somewhat "A-List," meaning...