paranoia

Thanks to the internet, anyone can be a journalist — this is one of the great things about the web, and so it was Big News when a plucky Citizen Journalist caught this video of the Feds busing in a bunch of illegal immigrants to a Walmart in Concord, North Carolina, where they then went […]

Some patriot got wind that an empty Army Reserve warehouse in Westminster, Maryland, might be used to temporarily house children from the Texas border, and so they did their best to save America. From children. Because obviously, Barack Obama is flooding the country with unaccompanied children so they can all vote Democratic. This is just […]

Hot on the heels of the big Breitbart scoop about that “Muslim prayer rug” (cleverly disguised as a shirt) found on the Arizona/Mexico border, the good folks at Glenn Beck’s Internet Tendency went looking for some terrorist detritus of their own, and by golly, they sure found some! An Urdu-to-English dictionary was not something Mike […]

Has Victoria Jackson been informed of this? The U.S. Supreme Court has declined the chance to save Tennessee from rampant sharia law, or at least it won’t intervene in a bullshit case claiming that the Islamic Center of Murfreesboro was constructed without adequate public notice. Opponents of the existence of Muslims had filed the suit […]

Wingnut extraordinaire Matt Barber, who writes almost exclusively about how The Gay Agenda is going to kill us all, except for when he explains that feminists are in favor of rape, has discovered another completely new thing about “the Left” and the gays: The real goal of all this legalizing of gay marriage and gay […]

Over at wingnut thought-leader drunktank TownHall.com yesterday, CNS News editor Terry Jeffrey explained the real reason Barack Obama wants universal pre-K: it doesn’t have anything to do with education; Obama just wants to indoctrinate children at ever-younger ages by making sure that children “spend most of their waking hours with members of a government teachers […]

Frontline reports from the Culture Wars: Our Oscar winners are full of leftist propaganda! Best Picture 12 Years a Slave is historically inaccurate, only depicting unhappy slaves with cruel masters, and ignoring the many “contented” slaves. And even this year’s Best Animated Feature, Disney’s Frozen, should be avoided since it encourages children to become gay. […]

National Rifle Association CEO and Executive Vice President Wayne LaPierre admitted that he and most gun fondlers are motivated by fear, although he didn’t quite put it that way. At CPAC Thursday, the gun fetishist in chief shared a vision of America as a paranoid hellscape: “We fear for the safety of our families. It’s […]

We just can’t seem to escape rightwing freakouts about the Common Core educational standards, from concerns that Barack Obama is going to tell children that correct answers don’t matter at all in math to Victoria Jackson’s worries about how they will make children see tiny cartoon weenuses. Newest case: Arizona’s Senate Education Committee voted 6-3 […]

Time for another rightwing freakout over Obama’s private army coming to take your guns and freedom and maybe marry your daughter off to a Muslim whilst they’re at it. Turns out that in January 2013, the Ohio National Guard’s 52nd Civil Support Team did a counterterrorism training exercise that simulated this completely impossible scenario: The […]

OMG, as if it weren’t bad enough that Barack Obama is using the Common Core educational standards to decree that all schoolbooks will praise him and that 3 X 4 = 11, now the genius researchers at Dead Breitbart’s Center for Duct-Taping Random Facts Together have discovered the secret agenda of the new standards: to […]

Tom Bauerle, an Amherst, New York, AM radio talker who has long opposed gun control, apparently became convinced that operatives from Gov. Andrew Cuomo were staking out his backyard, so he waved a loaded semiautomatic pistol at the nonexistent intruders. Police in the Buffalo suburb of Amherst took the gun away from him early last […]

At this point, it’s inexcusable that GOP Rep. Louie Gohmert’s name is not a widely used neologism meaning something like “a person or thing that makes everything worse by being a fucking asshole.” Notice we did not say “a stupid fucking asshole” because Louie Gohmert isn’t stupid — he knows exactly how to formulate his […]

Paranoid anti-Muslim savior of western civilization Pam Geller must go through a lot of undies, considering her ability to soil them at the slightest hint of MUSLIM JIHAD TERROR. Consider this scary headline from Sunday: “FBI WARNS: MUSLIM TERRORISTS PLAN TO ATTACK FUEL STORAGE PLANTS INSIDE U.S.” And her lede is full of I-told-you-so victimhood […]

The tiny community of Deer Trail, Colorado, (population 546) is considering passing an ordinance to sell “drone hunting licenses” and offer a bounty for shooting down federally owned unmanned aerial vehicles (UAVs). But don’t worry, they are only joking (except for the guy who introduced the measure — he says he’s completely serious). We aren’t sure whether […]