That Clean Energy and Security Act that Congress was so sure it passed yesterday? Nice try commies, it’s basically still in galley form! The Examiner’s SCOOP reveals there’s a 300 page “manager’s amendment” that hasn’t been edited into the official 1,090 page copy of the bill, which all members of Congress have read and would be 100% prepared to answer essay questions about, provided they know the essay topic beforehand and can use their notes.

Anyway, the Corner finds this all very typical, of hippies. And also asks, sagely: what is the hurry anyway? Right, it’s like, where’s the fire, you guys? Besides California and most rain forests and at this point probably the Arctic? Ha ha. If Democrats cared about the environment so much there’s no way they would be spending 1300+ sheets of paper to say so. MORE »

Ha ha, these people are funny because they named their magazine “Paranoia,” meaning they recognize that they are simply insane people with a printing press. [Reason]

We were alerted earlier today that GSA administrator Lurita Doan (obv a fake name, prob from a Pynchon book) was hilariously sketchy while testifying before the Oversight Committee — and, indeed, she was! — but we apparently missed a great bit at the end. A tipster writes: MORE »

* Waning paranoia about the Patriot Act goes back up to “red” as the FBI is cited for surfing Americans’ personal information like you surf for porn. [WP, NYT]
* If an Iraq War spending plan gets rewritten a thousand times, then vetoed, will Nancy Pelosi cry on teevee? [WP, NYT, LAT]
* Alberto Gonzalez has never met a shady “fire ‘n replace” scheme he didn’t like. Arlen Specter has never met an Attorney General that he did like. [WP]
* Chuck Hagel asks John McCain, “Must you betray me with a kiss?” [WP]
* “Bush Doctrine” of suspicious first-punch throwing will influence the next President, whoever she is. [WP]
* Morally unassailable poor kids’ health insurance program woefully under funded. [USAT]
* Newt Gingrich: hate him for the hypocrisy, love him for the skirt chasing. [AP]

• Dan Bartlett says the White House Iraq policy is much like history, “changing week to week.” [Media Matters]

• Bush to establish military junta if Democrats manage to win any seats. [Captain's Quarters]
• Political consultants on both sides scared shitless of their candidate being interviewed by Stephen Colbert, calling his show, “must-not-do TV.” [Potomac Flacks]
• Hillary Clinton opponent and also-ran John Spencer calls Hillary a “butter face.” Claims it cost “millions” in plastic surgery to fix her busted grill. [The Left Coaster]
• All along the watchtower, Mitt Romney kept the view. While all the Mormo-Republican strategists came and went, wacky Utah preachers too. [The Carpetbagger Report]
• Maintaining “EIB” all the way, Rush Limbaugh accuses Michael J. Fox of faking Parkinson’s disease to garner sympathy for Democratic causes. [Crooks & Liars]
• Paranoia inducing Total Information Awareness program, previously booted out of DARPA, lives on at NSA with the rest of the illegal programs you haven’t heard about. [TPM Muckraker]
• America has its priorities straight, spends more on candy corn at Halloween than the GDP of Nicaragua. [Thinkprogress]

RedState holds a contest. Then Fark links. Sarcasm and page jokes ensue! MORE »

In a New Republic story to be posted later today, Mrs. “Disgraced Former Congressman” Duke Cunningham kicks off the dirty laundy-airing (LITERALLY HAR HAR) and distancing. TPM Muckraker sez: MORE »