Wonkette

This recession scare, it’s real. Too real! The Federal Reserve, much to Ron Paul’s dismay, lowered the fed funds rate by 3/4 of a percentage point today to stave off a, hrm, bank panic of neo-Victorian proportion! MORE »

But what was it like at Disneyland and Disney World on September 11, 2001? [Jim Hill]

The Longworth building is apparently closed off entirely, and there are reports of, uh… a “huge line to get into Rayburn.” MORE »

It’s nice of the Washington Post to, directly under their article insisting that Fed chief Ben Bernanke calmed Wall Street (subhead: “Bernanke Upbeat As Stocks Rebound”), link to the Milbank column that points out how Ben Bernanke didn’t really say much of anything. Saves us the trouble. MORE »

Washington DC, the most powerful city in the world, was paralyzed last night by a deadly “wintry mix” of frozen water and slightly less frozen water. Upwards of two inches of the mysterious powder descended upon the city like white death, leaving buses running on emergency schedules, trains aflame, and major roads beset with vigilantes on tricked-out motorcycles. MORE »

Panic! There’s SNOW outside! As the federal government struggles to cope with this strange, cold, slippery water-like substance that’s coated every exposed surface of the city, employees everywhere are being sent home early — so no one’s reading us! MORE »

Jim Samples, head of Time Warner’s Cartoon Network, stepped down in disgrace today in the wake his his companies foiled terrorist attack on Boston. MORE »

For those of you who wrote in wondering why the Washington Post building was loaded with terrorism cops and Hazmat guys early this afternoon, it was an anthrax scare in the mailroom.

I wanted to let you know that we received a suspicious piece of mail this morning, and you may see the Fire Department responding here at the Northwest Building. An envelope containing a small amount of white powder was opened in the secure portion of the 4th floor News mailroom. The person who opened it immediately called Security. Security then placed the envelope in a ventilation hood and reported it to the FBI, who asked us to call the DC Fire Department. As you may recall the mail opening room has a specially designed ventilation system that is separate from the rest of the building system. We’ll keep you informed.

Thankfully, it all turned out to be boric acid. Or crap from Rich Cohen’s beard, we forget. Hilarious prank or no, the most important thing we’ve learned from this episode: Should a genuine bio-terrorism attack occur at the Post, the only person who will be killed is whatever non-union sap is opening the mail in that hermetically sealed death chamber.

“All clear” notice after the jump, if you’re into that sort of thing.

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BLASTS ROCK HOUSE OFFICES… “LARGE STICKS” SIGHTED… DESPERATE EMAIL REVEALS TERRIBLE FEAR GRIPPING CONGRESSIONAL STAFFERS: MORE »

Remember the emergency alert system? When your TV emits an annoying, high-pitched noise, shows you a rainbow-colored bar, and says “this is a test, this is only a test, of the emergency alert system”? MORE »