panic
Here is Your Handy Wonkette Guide to Not Panicking About 3D-Printed Guns
This is a guest post from your compatriot Alex Ruthrauff, aka “Sheriff Joe Biden.” We are all Jetsons now with our 3D printers spitting out all kinds of shit all the time, like houses and ears and spiky-tipped dildos and also now guns named by unimaginative libertarian dipsticks. Meet the, ahem, “Liberator,” everybody! The New [...]
Dig Your Ground: Shovel-Toting Student Freaks Out Idaho Middle School, Resulting In Lockdown
Staff and parents at a middle school in the Boise suburb of Meridian, Idaho, pretty much lost their shit when a student carrying a folding “military style” short-handled shovel was mistaken for a maniac roaming the halls of the school with an axe on Thursday. The school went into lockdown while police searched the school [...]
Hooray, Global Markets Collapse Again Because of … Greece! (Again)
Let’s check in with the Wonkette Business Desk for our morning economic roundup. U.S. pending home sales are at their highest point this year! U.S. manufacturing orders are at a two-year high! A terrorist plot against New York — the financial capital of the world — totally failed and the suspected/attempted car-bomber was caught by [...]
Financial Panic(!) To Steal Our Babies, Kill Concept of Fun
URGENT BREAKING UNCONFIRMED REPORT FROM THE HILL
WP Not Sure How Much You Should be Panicking Right Now
DC SHOCKED BY FROZEN WATER, CLOUDS
ICY DEATH RAINS FROM THE SKY ONTO UNPREPARED WASHINGTON
Cartoon Network Head Takes Responsibility for Lite-Brite Attack, Steps Down
Terror At the Washington ‘Post’!
BREAKING: PANIC AT CANNON
Emergency Alert System Actually Used!
Subjective Idealism Powerless Against Islamic Radicals
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