Hey McCain, Richard Cohen Wants His Mix Tape Back
Tuesday, September 16th, 2008
Ha ha, remember last Friday, before every bank in America liquidated and the New Depression kicked in and we had to boil our dogs for sustenance? Back in those innocent times, people were still fretting about how John McCain — a man who built a lifetime career on doing shitty things like leaving his crippled wife, consorting with S&L crooks, pandering to racists, and spewing foul invective at anyone who dared question his Honor — was suddenly not acting like his noble old self. So Richard Cohen is really only about 72 hours behind the curve on this one. MORE »
Ha ha, remember last Friday, before every bank in America liquidated and the New Depression kicked in and we had to boil our dogs for sustenance? Back in those innocent times, people were still fretting about how John McCain — a man who built a lifetime career on doing shitty things like leaving his crippled wife, consorting with S&L crooks, pandering to racists, and spewing foul invective at anyone who dared question his Honor — was suddenly not acting like his noble old self. So Richard Cohen is really only about 72 hours behind the curve on this one. MORE »
So, while candidates in other countries risk life and limb for politics, our candidates risk only their own pride and our derision to win the right to continue campaigning for another 10 months or so. And so it was that yesterday Mike Huckabee decided to let his redneck flag fly by announcing that he doesn’t only kill small animals for fun all the time unlike that poseur Romney, 
Seeking to capitalize on what the other candidates call his “lack of experience,” Obama 
It’s time, everybody, it’s time! Feel the disconnect as Nightly Business Report segues to PBS Presidential Primary Forums With Tavis Smiley. Ladies and gentlemen, get your cocktails ready.
Oh, tonight’s Republican debate in South Carolina should be really good, as the 10 douchebags fall over each other trying to give the most praise to racist bag-of-shit Jerry Falwell, whose Jabba-like corpse is still warm yet comically unresponsive.
It’s Martin Luther King, Jr. Day, which has always meant one thing: old white guys babbling abstractly about equality at black churches. Today’s slumming sons of privilege include Senator Chris “
The Democratic Senatorial Campaign Committee, headed by, apparently, Leno’s staff writers and your grandfather, are proving themselves HIP and EDGY and WITH IT with a new website based on popular concept Snakes on a Plane (after, we hear, rejecting a site based on the film adaptation of Charles Bukowski’s Factotum, opening today in limited release). DSCC head Chuck Schumer, wearing a “Vote for Pedro” shirt on which “Pedro” had been crossed out and “Democrats” written beside it in Sharpie, said this half-assed grab for relevance would demonstrate conclusively that Democrats, lacking a basic sense of humor, have the decorum and gravitas necessary to lead the country through the War on Terror. 
’cause I was sittin’ there bored to death… 
