Tag Archives: palestine

  decisive moves

U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN

The Obama administration is trying very hard at the moment to not have to call the Israeli settlements in Palestine illegal. Oh, diplomacy, you’re so silly. In order to do so, the U.S. has tried to make a deal with Arab countries to vote for a statement saying it “does not accept the legitimacy of continued Israeli settlement activity.” What is the difference between calling something illegal and saying you don’t accept its legitimacy? A lot, apparently. Enough to get all upset about. So much so that if this “settlements are illegal” resolution gets to the Security Council, the Obama administration may make its first veto. Does Obama really want the Palestine issue to be resolved, or does he want things to just stop happening in Palestine and for everybody to shut up their countries? It’s confusing. Let’s just say he’s a secret Arab Muslim because he doesn’t scream out “OH, ISRAEL, YES” when he’s having sex with Michelle, okay? Read more on U.S., Other Sharia-Based Countries Destroying Israel With UN…
  house of cards

‘Palestine Papers’ Leak Causes Chaos; Whole World Now Leaking Away

Will Al Jazeera be accused of “surprise sex” for its release of thousands of “Palestine Papers” detailing the dirty deals of the Middle East peace process? That’s the question some blogger somewhere is probably writing a long post about, right now, as the world’s governments groan and shudder like a weary whore under the weight of these endless document dumps. What have we learned about the Israel-Palestinian thirty-year back and forth over recognition and return and all that? Eh, everybody’s corrupt and each government does little more than sell out its own people, ha ha, what did you think? Read more on ‘Palestine Papers’ Leak Causes Chaos; Whole World Now Leaking Away…
  it's morning in america

America Remembers Handsome, Murdered President

John F. Kennedy was assassinated forty-seven years ago today. Where were you when you read The Warren Report, and then laughed? We will probably never know if H. L. Hunt hired Blackwater to shoot JFK in the head, but most people reject the Oswald conspiracy theories and have accepted that President Handsomepants’ violent murder was just another routine CIA hit job. Sarah Palin says that John Kennedy betrayed his religion, so maybe Jesus was the guy with the gun at the Grassy Knoll? We simply do not know. Many equate JFK’s assassination with the End of America’s Innocence. Apparently everyone still had a super clean conscience in 1963, even after we dropped all those atomic bombs. [Voice of America/The Atlantic] Read more on America Remembers Handsome, Murdered President… Read more on America Remembers Handsome, Murdered President…
  weekend at ariel's

Comatose Ariel Sharon Still In Coma

Ariel Sharon, who had a major stroke while prime minister of Israel nearly five years ago and has since been in a coma in a hospital room, was moved on Friday to his ranch in the Negev Desert, hospital officials told Israel Radio. Read more on Comatose Ariel Sharon Still In Coma…
  boy meets world

Obama Criticizes Israel In Muslim Indonesia, Once Had a ‘Tranny Nanny’

President Obama criticized Israel for its approval of new settlements in East Jerusalem today, which is surprising not because Jews should be allowed to have whatever land they want, because of the Bible, but because Obama hates the Jews and their rightful country. Or perhaps, considering he said this in Indonesia, Obama was just afraid that all the Muslims would immediately murder him if he said otherwise — and we all know that being deathly afraid of such people is the most patriotic thing an American can do. But The New York Times reminds us that Obama grew up in this foreign land, unpatriotically, which is what makes him actually a secret Muslim. The Times has another interesting story to tell: even though Obama joined their religion, those people called him a duck and allowed the poor boy to have a KNOWN TRANSVESTITE GAY as his nanny. Read more on Obama Criticizes Israel In Muslim Indonesia, Once Had a ‘Tranny Nanny’…
  peace at last

Obama Will Use His Magic Hopey Dust To Bring Eternal Peace To Middle East

Apparently Barack Obama had a sweet vacation, because he’s glowing with optimism and just can’t wait to “cure” the Middle East of its eternal sadness. We wish you luck, sir: President Obama is meeting with Israeli, Palestinian, Jordanian and Egyptian leaders on Wednesday to jump-start Middle East peace talks. He’ll have separate meetings in the Oval Office with Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu of Israel, President Mahmoud Abbas of the Palestinian Authority, King Abdullah II of Jordan, and President Hosni Mubarak of Egypt. Each will speak to the news media in the evening, and the leaders will work over dinner. David Sanger examined Mr. Obama’s efforts this week to make progress on Israeli-Palestinian peace, Iraq and Iran, a trifecta that eluded his predecessors and for which he faces tough odds. Read more on Obama Will Use His Magic Hopey Dust To Bring Eternal Peace To Middle East…
  i see what you did there

Huffington Post Makes All of America Believe Israel Is Devil By Cropping Photo

Pajamas Media is still updating its website, somehow, and today we have IMPORTANT NEWS about the front page of another Internet website. It seems Huffington Post has EVILLY CROPPED A PHOTO of Israeli PM Benjamin Netanyahu so that it looks like he has ANTLERS! Wait, DEVIL HORNS! DEVIL HORNS! That’s it. This kind journalist has brought this to our attention and has even done some shoe-leather reporting on this amazing sign that the Huffington Post is brainwashing us to hate Israel. Read more on Huffington Post Makes All of America Believe Israel Is Devil By Cropping Photo…
  peace in jordan and harmony in rap dancing

Dutch Politician Solves Everything By Coming Up With Plan For Jordan To Rename Itself Palestine … Also, Here Is Steve Cohen Dancing To Rap

Forget the whole Israeli-Palestinian conflict. “Jordan is Palestine,” said Dutch guy Geert Wilders, leader of the right-wing Party for Freedom. “Changing its name to Palestine will end the conflict in the Middle East and provide the Palestinians with an alternate homeland.” Next time Palestinians look at a map they are going to feel so silly! Your country is over there, stupids! “If Jerusalem falls into the hands of the Muslims, Athens and Rome will be next,” Wilders also said, as he apparently lives in four disparate periods of world history simultaneously. On a related note, here is Rep. Steve Cohen (D-TN) sweatily dancing while some guys rap: Read more on Dutch Politician Solves Everything By Coming Up With Plan For Jordan To Rename Itself Palestine … Also, Here Is Steve Cohen Dancing To Rap…
  more stupid developments on a never-ending issue

San Francisco Bay Palestinetards Block Ship From Unloading Goods, Destroying State of Israel

Hundreds of protesters waved signs and flags and stuff at the Port of Oakland on Sunday because an Israeli cargo ship was coming in and this was the most important way they could protest Israel for some reason. Longshoremen refused to cross the “picket line” of weirdos because apparently it had some union backing. In San Francisco, remember, “union members” are not your usual blue-collar folks, they’re hippie-plumbers and hippie-electrical-workers and hippie-Teamsters. Read more on San Francisco Bay Palestinetards Block Ship From Unloading Goods, Destroying State of Israel…
  joe biden's worst ever gaffe

If Joe Biden Loves Israel Attacking the Humanitarian Boats So Much, Why Does He Pose On Arabic Sesame Street?

Vice President Joe Biden did two things Wednesday night: He went on the Charlie Rose interview show to defend Israel’s attack on the humanitarian flotilla trying to bring supplies to walled-off Gaza, and he attended some Sesame Street gala event. Which of these things are not like the other? Both of them, as you can clearly see from this promotional photograph released by the Sesame Street organization. Yeah, that’s right, Biden is standing right underneath the Arabic sign for Sesame Street. Read more on If Joe Biden Loves Israel Attacking the Humanitarian Boats So Much, Why Does He Pose On Arabic Sesame Street?…
  daily briefing

Internet Star Barack Obama Talked About Twitter Like The Whole Time He Was Abroad

Obama told Chinese teenagers about the uncensored Internet, a mediocre collection of re-purposed AP articles and some videos that generally people only like when it’s not available.  [New York Times] Over at some United Nations summit, everyone bonded about how much they hate hunger but declined to throw any money at the problem. [AP] Read more on Internet Star Barack Obama Talked About Twitter Like The Whole Time He Was Abroad…
  politely changing the subject

Obama Is Just As Bored With All This Policy-y Health Care Whatever As Everyone Else

The health care debate’s fifteen minutes are finally, finally up. Ugh, do you even remember all that? Anyway, Obama will now solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, America’s original synonym for “unable to be fixed with one swift gesture.” Obama’s (alleged!) new peace plan includes TEN swift gestures, which he will (allegedly!) present at a peace conference in Egypt at the end of the month. This does not leave much time for every person on Earth to begin absolutely despising each clause of the hated plan for quasi-personal reasons of varying legitimacy! Let’s begin immediately. Read more on Obama Is Just As Bored With All This Policy-y Health Care Whatever As Everyone Else…
  not good at all

Mike Huckabee Would Not Be A Good Envoy For Israeli-Palestinian Peace Talks

Very funny things happen when Mike Huckabee opens his mouth and says words about foreign policy. Remember the above clip from one of those hilarious 2008 GOP primary debates? He just had no idea what to say! And things don’t seem to have changed much, given today’s very confident declaration of no-peace. Read more on Mike Huckabee Would Not Be A Good Envoy For Israeli-Palestinian Peace Talks…
  think about it

When All Else Fails, Think

Think tanks have this magical ability to fix all the evil in the world, just by thinking. This week they solve the Middle East crisis (ABOUT TIME) and explain how the financial crisis has affected everyone from children to small animals to the newest crop of starving, underpaid/unpaid interns in DC.  And the Heritage Foundation even manages to find the time to praise everyone’s favorite dead conservative, Ronald Reagan, again. Read more on When All Else Fails, Think…
  film and stage

Storytelling Hour With the Palestinians!

Friday, Feb. 27: The Ramallah-based Al-Kasaba Theatre and Cinematheque perform Alive from Palestine: Stories Under Occupation, a “response to the conflict of their homeland.” A reviewer from The Independent in London calls it something between “news and propaganda,” but it’s kind of hard to imagine Hamas coming up with something so creative (although, Hamas Mouse was pretty genius). 7:30PM, Kennedy Center. [Kennedy Center] Read more on Storytelling Hour With the Palestinians!… Read more on Storytelling Hour With the Palestinians!…
 

Dunkin’ Donuts Nixes Terrorist Rachael Ray Ad

Remember when those nuts on the right, Michelle Malkin and Charles Johnson, condemned beloved fast food bakery Dunkin’ Donuts for letting teevee chef Rachael Ray wear a Palestinian scarf in this ad? Dunkin’ Donuts first released a statement saying that no, it was not the Palestinian kaffiyeh design at all, just paisley, and a SCARF. Despite being categorically incorrect, the wingnuts have somehow “won” and Dunkin’ Donuts will pull the ad due to the “possibility of misperception.” Jesus. [Boston Globe] Read more on Dunkin’ Donuts Nixes Terrorist Rachael Ray Ad…