George W. Bush is on vacation in the West Bank today, telling everybody about how great things will be in 2009, after he’s mercifully out of office. According to our sad, ignored president, the Middle East will finally see peace, love and understanding next year. Why? Because everything will magically get better after Bush is gone. Here are some other predictions from our optimistic pal: MORE »

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! Last week was all about Condi’s big Carnival o’ Peace™ in Annapolis. Yes! That was only a few days ago! Not much happened, but that didn’t stop people from writing about it. Plus: more excerpts from Elizabeth Bumiller’s Condiography which is maybe going to be serialized in Maureen Dowd’s column. And, finally, it was Mean Caricature Week! After the jump, we’ll relive the Condiweek that was.

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The big news in fake diplomacy today is Condi’s Middle East peace conference, which held talks in Annapolis, MD this morning between Israel, Palestine, Syria and some other horribly screwed places. It just so happens that this Wonkette editor is living in Annapolis until December, so what a coinky-dink! I went down and took some pictures of the protesters, which included Code Pink, a guy who looks like Santa Claus, some old ladies and various anti-Semites. Check out the gallery, the aesthetics of which are sure to bring peace to all troubled nations across the globe.

What has Condoleezza Rice accomplished in the past week? The answer is always the same: nothing! What has she been doing, where has she been going? Well, that’s a more complicated question. Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™! This past week was really fun in Condiland! Like her illustrious mentor, G. H. W. Bush, she inspired a new foreign language insult! It was her birthday! Something about laser helmets! And at the end of the week? OMG, new hairdo. Did you hear me? NEW HAIRDO.

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Formerly beloved childhood icon Mickey Mouse has shown his true colors: he’s as reflexively anti-American as any other coked-out limousine liberal Hollywood star. MORE »

* Rudy for prez: because he will never put a de-clawed ferret into his ass. [Horse's Mouth]
* Hillary changes private jets more often than you change underwear, even has the days sewn in them like you. [NYP]
* “The only thing that can save this country is a military coup.” [NRO]
* Oprah gets on the Barry Hussein train. [Newsmax]
* Military took away the porn and now goes for the blogs. Way fight for fascism, fuckers. [Wired]
* The Speaker of the Palestinian Legislative Council would like to reiterate his point in case anyone is unsure: Death to America. [Jerusalem Post]
* Bill O’Reilly insults someone every 6.8 seconds. [Romenesko]

* Bush admin: J/K everyone, FISA can totally have jurisdiction over the illegal secret wiretapping program. Please don’t yell at Alberto Gonzales too much today, Senate Judiciary Committee. [NYT, WP]
* The Bush legacy would’ve probably been something about creeping executive power, but lately he’s been conceding it to everyone. [NYT, WP]
* A “bipartisan” (read: involving Chuck Hagel) group of Senators prepared a useless symbolic resolution opposing THE SURGE in Iraq. Clinton wants to get tougher, withhold funds, give John Edwards a wedgie. [WP, WP]
* NYT prints dumbest lede this week: “The climate here has definitely changed.” [NYT]
* Condi Rice is in Berlin chatting about Israel and Palestine with German chancellor Angela Merkel. What Rice learned out there: people be sick of getting blown up. [CNN]
* Barack Obama will need to be careful about staying fresh, beloved over these next two years. [NYT]
* Everyone’s got an “exploratory committee.” Except Clinton, who might see her fundraising ability sonned by the early adapters. [WP]
* Ethics reform legislation stalls in Senate. Pig to have to find alternate source of lipstick. [NYT]

Former President and Nobel Peace Prize winner Jimmy Carter is more or less a doddering old man who means well. But when he accidentally mentioned the nearly unmatched influence of AIPAC on American politicians and gave his new book a vaguely controversial title and kinda sympathized with Palestinians, he made a lot more enemies than just dudes who hate houses for poor people. Specifically, he angered the Jews, who control the media. MORE »

• Wolf Blitzer closes his eyes, counts to three, and wishes that when he opens them all the dead Palestinians will be gone. [HuffPo]

• Small Pennsylvania town increases illegality of illegal immigrants, sick birds. [AP]
• Sign Katherine Harris’s online get well card! Then feign shock when her robot voice won’t stop calling you for campaign donations. [Elect Harris]
• Capitol Historical Society to host reception for “departing” members of Congress, most honorees to arrive by paddy wagon. [Copley News Service]
• Young America’s Foundation staffed by assholes really into IM. [Campus Progress]
• Soon to be the most compressive source for photos of politicians eating babies in the world! [Flickr]

• It’s time to break out the good drugs - DJ Ted Stevens is on the ones and twos. [Bold Headed]

• All of DJ Ted’s 25 friends will be there. [MySpace]
• Dick Cheney can’t share a bed with a woman who doesn’t know what its like to shoot someone in the face. [Rock Creek Rambler]
• Iraqi security forces are now in complete control of a whole lot of sand, some scorpions, and maybe also tumbleweeds. [1115.org]
• A Fox News reporter gets shot at in Gaza by an Israeli robot. Luckily, his “fox friends” remind him to “skeedattle,” and the audience that, “bad guys shoot at anything.” [Raw Story]
• Both readers of the Cedar Rapids Gazette fail to notice Ann Coulter’s column has been dropped. [E&P]