The health care debate’s fifteen minutes are finally, finally up. Ugh, do you even remember all that? Anyway, Obama will now solve the Israeli-Palestinian conflict, America’s original synonym for “unable to be fixed with one swift gesture.” Obama’s (alleged!) new peace plan includes TEN swift gestures, which he will (allegedly!) present at a peace conference in Egypt at the end of the month. This does not leave much time for every person on Earth to begin absolutely despising each clause of the hated plan for quasi-personal reasons of varying legitimacy! Let’s begin immediately. MORE »

Very funny things happen when Mike Huckabee opens his mouth and says words about foreign policy. Remember the above clip from one of those hilarious 2008 GOP primary debates? He just had no idea what to say! And things don’t seem to have changed much, given today’s very confident declaration of no-peace. MORE »

Think tanks have this magical ability to fix all the evil in the world, just by thinking. This week they solve the Middle East crisis (ABOUT TIME) and explain how the financial crisis has affected everyone from children to small animals to the newest crop of starving, underpaid/unpaid interns in DC.  And the Heritage Foundation even manages to find the time to praise everyone’s favorite dead conservative, Ronald Reagan, again. MORE »

Friday, Feb. 27: The Ramallah-based Al-Kasaba Theatre and Cinematheque perform Alive from Palestine: Stories Under Occupation, a “response to the conflict of their homeland.” A reviewer from The Independent in London calls it something between “news and propaganda,” but it’s kind of hard to imagine Hamas coming up with something so creative (although, Hamas Mouse was pretty genius). 7:30PM, Kennedy Center. [Kennedy Center] MORE »

Remember when those nuts on the right, Michelle Malkin and Charles Johnson, condemned beloved fast food bakery Dunkin’ Donuts for letting teevee chef Rachael Ray wear a Palestinian scarf in this ad? Dunkin’ Donuts first released a statement saying that no, it was not the Palestinian kaffiyeh design at all, just paisley, and a SCARF. Despite being categorically incorrect, the wingnuts have somehow “won” and Dunkin’ Donuts will pull the ad due to the “possibility of misperception.” Jesus. [Boston Globe]

Oh no! Condi’s stuck on repeat! Or maybe shuffle! She went places, she met people… but it all seems so familiar, like she’s just coasting for the next eight months or something. I don’t know about you, but there are some Condi reruns I’d much rather see, so let’s use the magical, revelatory power of Photoshop to pump up the Condiweek that was… after the jump, natch!

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Jimmy Carter started his unofficial but CONTROVERSIAL visit with Palestine’s Hamas leaders today and here are the first naughty AP pix. Look: the Hamas is such a terrorist group that they have guns! They will shoot Carter if he does not lie face-down on the cement as that greeter is clearly instructing him to do. Good Lord, Jimmy Carter is old. More pixxx after the jump! MORE »

A Condoleezza road show is so much fun! Our Condi bounced from Egypt to Ramallah to Tel Aviv to Brussels, enjoying several perfect photo-ops along the way. The only problem was that outside the photo-ops, it was one of the most incriminating Condiweeks EVER, brimming with embarrassments, snubs, that Gaza Strip thing, and OMG, Glenn Kessler! So mean! Let’s all pile on with Glenn after the jump!

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Al Gore’s endorsement may or may not ever happen. The Iraq War may go on forever. The economy is broken. However, Roseanne Barr wrote something about Barack Obama today:

How will Obama handle his Jewish problem? He has to pander to the pro Zionist Jews of America and at the same time talk about dismantling support for Israel in order to appeal to his “progressive” followers. How he handles this one is very telling about his “judgment”. He just refused to condemn Israel for ghettoizing the Palestinians. Who is he really?

Yes, Roseanne Arnold. We know that he’s a Muslim. We’re not stupid. [HuffPo]

So the photo-ops in Israel and Palestine are going pretty well; things are better already vis-a-vis the President’s rosy forecast. Just today, after driving through the West Bank to hold a press conference with the Palestinian President, Bush told reporters regarding the various checkpoints, “You’ll be happy to know, my whole motorcade of a mere 45 cars was able to make it through without being stopped.” They didn’t stop you? You must know someone or something. [al-Jazeera]

George W. Bush is on vacation in the West Bank today, telling everybody about how great things will be in 2009, after he’s mercifully out of office. According to our sad, ignored president, the Middle East will finally see peace, love and understanding next year. Why? Because everything will magically get better after Bush is gone. Here are some other predictions from our optimistic pal: MORE »