Any questions?
[New York Times]

• New stimulus money is maybe on the way! This time they are calling it “an extension of the first stimulus package” and it does not care for nicknames. [New York Times]
• The U.S. gave Pakistan $1.5 billion/year, for the next five years, simply to stop doing a thing: namely, supporting terrorism. [New York Times]
• Obama’s headed to the counter-terrorism part of downtown McLean to hand out new offensive and defensive plays. [Washington Post]
• David Letter apologized to his wife, on television! How could she not trust something produced by the staff of the David Letterman Show? [CNN]
• How did our gal Sotomayor do yesterday, on Supreme Court opening day? She WON with 36 questions asked, and Scalia only batting 30. [LA Times]
• The International Energy Agency asked for a suggested donation of $10 trillion dollars over the next ten years. This is adorable. [WSJ]

By the Comics Curmudgeon
Most people think that bunnies are cute and fuzzy and cuddly and lovable (like beloved Wonkette commenter Naked Bunny With A Whip). Most people are wrong. Within the heart of your run-of-the-mill, carrot-munching rabbit lies a monstrous carnivore that wants nothing more than to tear off your flesh with its razor-sharp incisors and then trample your bones with its unusually large feet. This week in Cartoon Violence, you’ll learn the truth about the rabbits, aka “nature’s terrorists,” and also about nuclear AIDS. MORE »

• WE ARE STILL BOMBING PAKISTAN ALL THE TIME: Sure Syria was big news this weekend, but did you know that US-led forces or CIA drones have been involved in 12 air strikes in Pakistan in the last 10 weeks? The Pakistani president does not care for this one bit. [ABC News (the Australian one)]

What is this weirdness? Joe Biden was talking to some supporters this weekend, at a fundraiser, about how Barack Obama will basically turn into a totalitarian dictator after he’s elected, just like Hercules did when he rinsed all the horseshit out of Washington by diverting a few rivers. Plus there will probably be another war or something, which Obama supporters will have to get behind. MORE »

• One of Palin’s antebellum friends, an Authentic American, told a black sound guy to “Sit down, boy!” at one of her Floridian rallies. [Washington Post]
• When Obama was hooking up with Bill Ayers, he claims he didn’t know that Ayers was a terror-worshipping Communist demon. This means that Obama is Not Ready to nuke Ahmadinejad’s palatial sex dungeon in North Korea. [The Corner]
• Every time Bush kisses McCain softly on the forehead, a mustachioed ginger in Florida loses his home. [Ben Smith]
• In the 1980s, McCain had a fairly impressive neo-Nazi porn collection which he often sold in the Facebook Marketplace in order to benefit Latin American terrorists like Bill Ayers. [Huffington Post]
• Pakistan is going out of business, because countries apparently can do that. Naturally, it wants a bailout, so John McCain is driving the Straight Talk express to Kashmir, to supervise. [Crooks and Liars]

• When McCain said he was dropping out of the race to fix the economy, he was really having a filthy swingers orgy, in public, with Joe and Hadassah. [Ben Smith]
• Simulate the retarded, child-like speech patterns of national idiot Sarah Palin, with this fun word-generating internet machine! [Andrew Sullivan]
• Bill Kristol wants McCain to suspend his campaign once more, to go fix the economy all over again. [Weekly Standard]
• Pun abuser Maureen Dowd is BANNED from McCain’s Straight Talk Air. [Howard Kurtz]
• You know what’s also on the verge of collapse? Pakistan. Pakistan has become too big and too expensive for the taxpayers.  [Matthew Yglesias]
• Maybe instead of “bailout” this thing should have been called “Economic Stability Plan” or “Hey Let’s Nuke Iran” and then more Republicans would have gotten behind it. [Politico]

And, as Robert Baird points out, she doesn’t even seem to know what a “doctrine” is, a la Monroe or Truman. When will people quit picking on the Republican vice presidential nominee for her complete lack of acquaintance with American history and current affairs? SHE WAS A MAYOR, YOU KNOW, WITH A LOT OF RESPONSIBILITIES. [digital emunction/YouTube]

• MUSHARRAF HAS HAD IT: “Faced with desertions by his political supporters and the neutrality of the Pakistani military, President Pervez Musharraf of Pakistan, an important ally of the United States, is expected to resign in the next few days rather than face impeachment charges, Pakistani politicians and Western diplomats said Thursday.” Ha, so much for that guy. Will Benazir Bhutto take over by default now? Oh right, she’s very dead. We should squeeze Mitt Romney in a little box and mail him to Pakistan and be like, “this guy’s awesome, let him take over.” That would be so great, they’d have no idea. [NYT]

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi got to go back to the rumored land of her ancestors. No, not Russia, Africa! Her last trip there was a royal dud, but this time she brought along friends: the boss, his wife, Josh Bolten, etc., and she got to see the boss dance! She got a pretty sash! She got molested by scary natives! And then she got back and nobody cared. Relive the magic, after the jump…

MORE »

As anyone who has seen White Nights can attest, there is one force in the world more dangerous and powerful than love. Or democracy. Wonkette operative “Ivan” sends us this image captured by the New York Times, in which we see secret agents smuggling this highly volatile substance into a major metropolitan area in Pakistan. MORE »