pakistan

Our favorite war right now is definitely India vs. Pakistan up on a glacier in the Himalayas, but it might be coming to an end. For those few who don’t know, India has been actually at war with Pakistan since 1984 (something to tell people when they raise the specter of India and Pakistan ever [...]

Here is a story with so many lovely layers of gooey rich ironies — like a trifle, or a Spotted Dick! First, Mitt Romney is in New York City today, cold hangin’ out at firehouses with Rudy 9u11iani while near-simultaneously criticizing Barack Obama for “politicizing” the death of Osama Bin Laden. Second, did you know [...]

Lord Ahmed of Rotherham, a suspiciously Muslin-sounding Labour peer, was suspended last night after allegedly claiming he would put up a £10million bounty for the capture of Barack Obama, for pallin’ around with terrists and also for putting up a $10 million bounty of his own for Hafiz Muhammed Saeed, the alleged orchestrator of the [...]

Americans seem a tad unhappy with the club of corrupt kleptocrats running their government these days; seems about as good a time as any for Congress to give the go ahead to the military and private corporations to fill our skies with stealth spy-death machines to help keep an eye on protesters traffic conditions, maybe? [...]

Did Michele Bachmann share a sexy classified scoop about attacks on Pakistan’s nukular sites during last night’s GOP debate? Is she already sharing a cell with Bradley Manning, in the one twist of fate that could possibly worsen America’s inhumane/unconstitutional torture of Manning?

Your beloved Central Intelligence Agency has been caught running around the world trying to inject brown children with dirty syringes again. Is everyone impressed? That is the kind of creativity your nation uses to “keep the peace” in this world, by setting traps for small humans who merely thought they were being vaccinated. This is [...]

What are America’s allies up to, these days? Oh, just jailing the CIA people who targeted Osama bin Laden in his fancy Pakistan suburban castle. China reads the White House gmail, British prime minister David Cameron mocks our wonderful health care system that’s available only to people with lots of money, and now Pakistan is [...]

Here’s some good news for ally relations: If Pakistan had noticed the U.S. troops entering Pakistan airspace to take out bin Laden in time and opened fire on them, as they likely would have, the U.S. was prepared to shoot back and send in reinforcements to fight the Pakistanis until bin Laden’s body was back [...]

Pakistan has been paid off for years to be an ally of the United States. The U.S. would like them to start acting like it. Quickly. Some Pakistani officials were allowing Osama bin Laden to hide in their dusty gated community in the suburbs just miles away from a key military academy (and, probably, 20 [...]

The past few days, the media have engorged themselves on a litany of little details about Osama bin Laden’s living conditions at the time of his death. But today, they’ve seen to hit a wall. Look, government officials, it’s not like they’re going to look into the veracity of whatever you give them, just throw [...]

In addition to bin Laden, at least three other people were killed in the operation, U.S. officials said, including a man they believe to be one of Bin Laden’s sons. Officials said that the action also claimed the life of a woman whom one of bin Laden’s aides used as a human shield, they said. [...]

Osama bin Laden was living in the suburbs. The suburbs! It figures! People who live in caves in the middle of nowhere get to know their immediate neighbors, and so do people who live in cities, but people in suburbs leave each other alone. Did bin Laden own a minivan and drive children to soccer [...]

Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Let’s celebrate by bombing Libya: “The U.S. ambassador to the U.N. raised the possibility of ‘going beyond a no-fly zone,’” but didn’t specify when the United States would save all the oil from oppression — causing major blue balls in diplomatic circles. Remember two days ago when Barack Obama said he [...]

That CIA dude who shot those Muslims dead in Pakistan has been released! Yay. How did he do it? By following Sharia Law. Apparently, you just give the relatives of the people you killed a shitload of (U.S. taxpayer) money and blammo, you’re free (to kill again, for America). How much does it cost, if [...]

The Senate is expected to vote today on a bill that would extend funding for the federal government for two additional weeks while also cutting four billion clams from current spending levels. Senate Democrats are “conceding defeat this time,” but vow to say mean things about John Boehner before voting on a similar bill two [...]


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