pakistan
The Wonkette Geopoliticker: Our Favorite Cold War
Our favorite war right now is definitely India vs. Pakistan up on a glacier in the Himalayas, but it might be coming to an end. For those few who don’t know, India has been actually at war with Pakistan since 1984 (something to tell people when they raise the specter of India and Pakistan ever [...]
Michele Bachmann Maybe Leaked Hawt Top Secret Info On Pakistan
Did Michele Bachmann share a sexy classified scoop about attacks on Pakistan’s nukular sites during last night’s GOP debate? Is she already sharing a cell with Bradley Manning, in the one twist of fate that could possibly worsen America’s inhumane/unconstitutional torture of Manning?
CIA Fake Vaccinated Children In Order To Capture Bin Laden
Your beloved Central Intelligence Agency has been caught running around the world trying to inject brown children with dirty syringes again. Is everyone impressed? That is the kind of creativity your nation uses to “keep the peace” in this world, by setting traps for small humans who merely thought they were being vaccinated. This is [...]
Pakistan Super PO’d About America Killing Pakistan’s Favorite Guy, Osama
What are America’s allies up to, these days? Oh, just jailing the CIA people who targeted Osama bin Laden in his fancy Pakistan suburban castle. China reads the White House gmail, British prime minister David Cameron mocks our wonderful health care system that’s available only to people with lots of money, and now Pakistan is [...]
U.S. Was Prepared To Fight Pakistan In Getting Bin Laden
Here’s some good news for ally relations: If Pakistan had noticed the U.S. troops entering Pakistan airspace to take out bin Laden in time and opened fire on them, as they likely would have, the U.S. was prepared to shoot back and send in reinforcements to fight the Pakistanis until bin Laden’s body was back [...]
New Osama Bin Laden Details For a Hungry Media
The past few days, the media have engorged themselves on a litany of little details about Osama bin Laden’s living conditions at the time of his death. But today, they’ve seen to hit a wall. Look, government officials, it’s not like they’re going to look into the veracity of whatever you give them, just throw [...]
UPDATED: Bin Laden Used Wife As Human Shield In Firefight
In addition to bin Laden, at least three other people were killed in the operation, U.S. officials said, including a man they believe to be one of Bin Laden’s sons. Officials said that the action also claimed the life of a woman whom one of bin Laden’s aides used as a human shield, they said. [...]
Bin Laden Had an Ugly Mansion, and Now It Is Covered In Blood
Osama bin Laden was living in the suburbs. The suburbs! It figures! People who live in caves in the middle of nowhere get to know their immediate neighbors, and so do people who live in cities, but people in suburbs leave each other alone. Did bin Laden own a minivan and drive children to soccer [...]
SURPRISE: U.S. Wants More Than Just a No-Fly Zone In Libya!
Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Let’s celebrate by bombing Libya: “The U.S. ambassador to the U.N. raised the possibility of ‘going beyond a no-fly zone,’” but didn’t specify when the United States would save all the oil from oppression — causing major blue balls in diplomatic circles. Remember two days ago when Barack Obama said he [...]
Another Patriotic White American Saved By Sharia Law
That CIA dude who shot those Muslims dead in Pakistan has been released! Yay. How did he do it? By following Sharia Law. Apparently, you just give the relatives of the people you killed a shitload of (U.S. taxpayer) money and blammo, you’re free (to kill again, for America). How much does it cost, if [...]
Senate Democrats Promise To Fight About the Budget ‘Next Time’
The Senate is expected to vote today on a bill that would extend funding for the federal government for two additional weeks while also cutting four billion clams from current spending levels. Senate Democrats are “conceding defeat this time,” but vow to say mean things about John Boehner before voting on a similar bill two [...]
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