Wonkette

Republican Congresswoman Heather Wilson had a little problem back in 1995, when she was (of course) Secretary of the New Mexico Children, Youth and Families Department. MORE »

There’s a whole lot of referencing of other websites referencing other websites and we still don’t have the allegedly gruesome details, so for now you can enjoy this press release from Weller’s house.gov site. Congressional pages, Dennis Hastert, Jerry Weller … what more do you want in a government web page?

But Jerry Weller losing his seat in the House is really the least of his worries right now. We’ll explain, after the jump.

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Here’s a story about Mark Foley with a perfectly standard, randomly chosen, completely innocent file photo of him. And some other guy. Some other guy who coincidentally happens to be Representative and fellow Pagefucker Jerry Weller! MORE »

The Illinois Republican (at right, with Kitty Harris) is married to the lovely Zury Ríos Montt (aka Zury Ríos Sosa, aka Zury Rios-Montt de Weller), daughter of the former military dictator of Guatemala. He’s also scheduled (per various rumor mills) to be outed as the newest subject of our beloved Cocktober Surprise. MORE »

Holy christ, after coming up with the most inane, torn-from-last-year’s headlines, cockamamie, sub-Hitchcockian dime-store psychoanalysis-lite excuse imaginable for Mark Foley’s actions, someone found him a priest to take the fall. His name is Anthony Mercieca, he lives on the (apparently real) “island of Gozo,” and the Sarasota Herald-Tribune scored an awesome interview with him. MORE »

Above, from the Examiner, Cocktober Surprise star Mark Foley’s caricature — still on display, loud and proud, at The Palm. MORE »

• President Bush happily signs so-called “torture bill” into law, calling it, “a way to deliver justice to the terrorists we have captured.” John McCain notably absent from signing ceremony. [WP, NYT, LAT, USAT]

• First-in-a-decade revision of outer space policy “is not about developing or deploying weapons in space. Period.” So, expect giant lasers and/or death rays up there any minute. [WP]
• Former House clerk and crucial Foley case link Jeff Trandahl is a total boyscout, neckerchiefs and all. Loved to bust pages under his supervision for smoking the chron. [NYT]
• Duke Cunningham’s corruption has a number: $70 million in contracts steered towards his kick-back buddies. [WP, NYT]
• Jim Webb, proud redneck. [WP]
• Hanging out with genocidal war-profiteers in rogue nations is a normal weekend for Curt Weldon. [WP]
• Government denies pension benefit to the partner of Gerry Studds, the first openly gay member of congress. [WP]

• During his hour-long press conference yesterday, Bush announced a change in Iraq policy from “stay the course” to “don’t do what you’re doing if it’s not working.” North Korea policy to “keep on keepin’ on.” [WP, NYT]

• US commanders report that violence in Baghdad has reached an “all time high.” [USAT]
• Kirk Fordham will testify before the ethics committee, possibly prolonging Dennis Hastert’s agony for another week or two. [WP]
• Bush opens up and gives Hastert “full-throat” support. [NYT]
• The NRA, which doesn’t particularly care which party isn’t treading on them, is supporting 60 Democrats in the midterms. [WSJ]
• Justice Department charges US citizen with treason for first time since WWII. [LAT]
• Foley friend and Ohio candidate Deborah Pryce calls her Democratic challenger a homophobe. Also calls Foley a “fruit,” saying, “We have to work hard to turn this back into lemonade.” [NYT]
• Last night’s plane crash in Manhattan killed Yankees pitcher Cory Lidle. [NYT, NYT, NYT, NYT]
• In life, as in sports, Tom Boswell makes the roiled sea plain. [WP]

Seeking only hot high-school guy: Must be manipulative jailbait, physically fit, enjoy late-night chats with old men, bi-curious, Republican. NO NARCS. MORE »

Like everything in America, the Congressional Page program was a hell of a lot more fun in the old days. According to Ron Kessler’s book “Inside Congress,” before the lame era of Instant Messages and “What are you wearing?” come-ons, pages did what kids are supposed to do: raise hell, get high, swim naked and have sex with each other. Girl pages particularly enjoyed driving the Capitol cops crazy with lust:

At the beginning of their shifts, Capitol Police officers would make it a practice to “stake out” the building at 235 2nd Street NE. “It was nicknamed ‘virgin village’ because female pages undressed there without putting down their blinds,” Terry Coons, a former Capitol Police officer, told me. “It was a gathering place for officers for the first hour.”

“They left their blinds open, and undressed,” said Wayne Beckett, another former Capitol Police officer. “The officers watched. They [the female pages] were teases. They knew what they were doing. We would shine flashlights at them, and they would leave the blinds open … They totally undressed and pranced around.”

Page scandal goes deeper [NewsMax] MORE »

Want to be the “In the Know” weirdo at the cocktail party? Then click and print the astonishingly nerdy Foleygate Blame Chart and carry it with you everywhere. UPDATE: Now it’s fixed, sorry, we’re having trouble with the North Korean technology that powers Wonkette. MORE »

Now we don’t have to read about Mark Foley’s crazy “pranks.”