It took us so long to check it out, but we finally did, and guess what? Mitt Romney’s “Free and Strong America PAC” website has any number of funnies! There are all these videos of him yelling at Obama for doing things that Mitt Romney did like 20 times when he was governor of Massachusetts. And then he always asks for money to support whatever he needs money for. (The best is probably the one where he goes nuts about cap-and-trade supposedly costing every person $1,700 dollars, after which he requests $5,000 donations.) But let’s check out this dongle he links to at Human Events, an op-ed by Mittens himself: “Iran: Biggest Threat Since Soviets.” MORE »

• TANCREDO RACIST DUDE IS LIKE FOUR: Marcus Epstein, the executive director of Tom Tom Tancredo and Bay Buchanan’s PAC, Team America — *ahem* HAHAHAHA like the movie — and also the executive director of Pat Buchanan and Bay Buchanan’s (other) PAC, The American Cause, is going to law school this fall, to karate chop and shout the n-word at more black ladies! And Bay Buchanan says that Epstein was a 21-year-old at the time of the 2007 incident, meaning he is now, what, NINE? Donate money to this young clown’s various racist groups! [Washington Independent]

GAHHH what the hell is this! The campaign’s over, OLD MAN. Go get a real American job now, OLD MAN. So terrifying. Anyway, the long and the short of it is that John McCain’s starting a new PAC called “Country First,” so check out its fancy website, which is a long donation form and absolutely nothing else. John McCain’s never had any problems raising money in the past (HEHEHE), so this website should more or less heal the economy. [Country First]

After that tragic series of events that led to the shuttering of the Mittens “Willard” Romney Campaign 2008, our comically convictionless protagonist campaigned at nine million rallies “for John McCain” and other candidates, a full seven million of which attracted only one attendee, Kathryn Jean Lopez — in booty shorts. Mittens’ extensive travel budget was funded largely by wingnut donations to his Free and Strong America PAC, which he created to “raise money for other Republicans around the country and to promote GOP policies.” Ha ha, why would he bust his ass for that? He wouldn’t! Because now we know that only 12% of the $2.1 million in PAC donations has gone towards helping other candidates. The other 88%, oh where did that go? MIGHT HE NEED MONEY FOR HIMSELF FOR HIS FUTURE? IN SAY… 2012?? Yep, that’s when he’s scheduled his appointment with the plastic surgeon — and boob jobs aren’t cheap. [Boston Globe]

* It’s not the Scientology that Mitt Romney loves, it’s the Travolta. [The Caucus]
* Hillary’s bad taste also in question: Does she only listen to the noise from Bono’s charity, or the shit his band puts out too? [Political Radar]
* Former Abramoff crony turned U.S. Attorney refused to prosecute himself. [Wampum]
* RIP Tom DeLay’s PAC. [Capitol Briefing]
* Joe Lieberman is still as crazy as when you voted for him. [Horse's Mouth]
* Brooklyn congressman knows what he’s gonna do when the bad boys come for him. [HuffPo]
* Gingrich and Hegel hang out with the unions, nonchalantly inquire about members willing to work for 10 cents an hour and no bathroom breaks. [Political Insider]

Every week, our Anonymous Lobbyist answers your questions about how laws get made and why they probably shouldn’t. If you have a question about the dirty business of doing business in Washington, ask her.

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• The Bush administration’s war on terror is changing in key ways due to changes and setbacks in courts, Congress, and among allies overseas. [WP]

• PAC’s and campaigns controlled by Rep. John Doolittle paid ridiculous sums to a company staffed only by his wife. [WP]
• The FBI raid of Rep. William Jefferson’s office was constitutional, according to the a federal judge. “Congressman Jefferson’s interpretation of the Speech or Debate privilege would have the effect of converting every congressional office into a taxpayer-subsidized sanctuary for crime,” wrote the judge, seemingly without irony. [WP]
• Rep. James Sensenbrenner hates illegal immigrants, has great deal of power, won’t budge or compromise with Bush or Senate. [NYT]

ONCE AGAIN: We need to get us a PAC. MORE »

Could someone help us out here? Someone gave Rick Santorum a mortgage. We got that far. And Rick Santorum is poor, right? That’s the deal? So he wasn’t supposed to get the mortgage? Is this one of those things you have to be rich to understand? It’s like letting Lieberman into your country club, right? Like, in exchange for pro-golfing legislation or tax breaks for polo shirt-manufacturers or something. What we can understand is this: we’ve got to get ourselves a PAC. MORE »