Tag Archives: ows

  ugly vile little snark mob

Deleted Comments Of The Day: Liberal Veterans Are Fictional Edition

As we all know, the greatest scandal of the gummint shutdown is Barack Obama’s 9/11/Pearl Harbor sneak attack on America’s World War II vets, whereby he personally endorsed Hitler by closing the WWII Memorial on the National Mall (although the memorial is now open to vets only). Not surprisingly, we got a few comments from new visitors about our story, and they were None Too Pleased. Consider this note from “ORDINARYPATRIOT,” who used up all their available capslock while typing their username: you spineless left wing POS! You had better hope that a miracle happens and you one day are half the man that these men are. If not for them you’d be speaking German and saluting pictures of the Fuhrer. Please leave this country, moron. Kind of takes you right back to watching All in the Family on a 13-inch Sony Trinitron, don’t it, meathead? Love it or leave it! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: Liberal Veterans Are Fictional Edition…
  the traditional one year gift is handcuffs

The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!

Last year, it took Occupy less than three weeks to reallocate $2 million in government-funded aid to working men and women in New York City, in the form of overtime pay to the city’s police department. This year, some in the movement hope to achieve this goal sooner — and judging from the police turnout on Occupy’s one year anniversary, they stand a good chance of meeting their goal! It’s always nice when the dominant partner in a very hetero-normative relationship goes “all out” for an anniversary, and this year the police did not disappoint. “As usual, they brought Occupy some pretty police horses and cute police dogs.” Commissioner Ray Kelly’s NYPD is rumored to have splurged on a secret signal jammer to cut into Occupy’s livestream feed. The Associated Press is reporting that the police have arrested somewhere around 180 people (the NYT is saying 185), including about five journalists, wheelchair-bound Americans, one goth girl, and a fucking legal observer from The National Lawyers’ Guild: an act of puckish over-exuberance tantamount to capturing a Red Cross nurse as a POW. The police also gave a 99% bro a ride in a shopping cart. Read more on The Police Remembered Occupy Wall Street’s One Year Anniversary!!!…
  Thank You Sirs May We Have Another

Study: CEOs and Incorporated Americans Sure Benefiting From Tax Code They Wrote

Look, you guys, the Romneys WANT to release more tax returns to you people, but if they do, guess what will happen? We can tell you EXACTLY what will happen: a think tank — maybe even a progressive one — will look at the tax returns and then they’ll be all “blah blah, the Romneys paid a lower tax rate than people who make around $40,000 per year” or “blah blah, here is what is up with ‘Mitt’s Magical IRA’” etc etc, and this would be unacceptable, because it is Mitt’s Time. We know this because a “liberal-leaning think tank” released a study claiming that 26 big Incorporated Americans didn’t pay federal taxes and (maybe) used the money to pay CEOs and then sent the rest of the massive sums of money on lavish vacations to the Cayman Islands. See? Transparency just gave them all kinds of ammunition, and we wouldn’t want that, would we? No. We wouldn’t. Read more on Study: CEOs and Incorporated Americans Sure Benefiting From Tax Code They Wrote…
  noun verb 911

Romney In NYC: Obama Should Have Handled Bin Laden The Way I Say I Said I Would

Here is a story with so many lovely layers of gooey rich ironies — like a trifle, or a Spotted Dick! First, Mitt Romney is in New York City today, cold hangin’ out at firehouses with Rudy 9u11iani while near-simultaneously criticizing Barack Obama for “politicizing” the death of Osama Bin Laden. Second, did you know Obama should have handled the whole OBL unpleasantness the way Mitt Romney says he said he would have? Fellows, it is true. “It was naive on the part of the candidate to say he would go in,” Romney whined like a total bitch. “It was a very uh uh uh if you will fragile and flammable time in Pakistan, and I thought it was a mistake of him as a candidate for the presidency of the United States at that time to announce that we would go in. Rather than to just, as I did, say we reserve the right to go in wherever is appropriate to secure the interests of the United States of America.” So did Romney say that thing he says he said, about of course reserving the right to turn Osama Bin Laden into a rapidly decomposing coral reef? DON’T BE RIDICULOSE! Read more on Romney In NYC: Obama Should Have Handled Bin Laden The Way I Say I Said I Would…
  general strike!

How Will Media Totally Avoid Useful News Coverage of May Day Protests?

Hooray, tomorrow is Kleptocracy Sucks Day! This, of course, is every day, but tomorrow Occupy Wall Street and labor unions are organizing actions all across the country for May Day to call attention to the crushing economic injustice forcing millions of unemployed, underemployed or over-employed “part-time” workers with multiple underpaid jobs to turn on their teevees and their YouTubes at night and get a lecture from Mitt Romney on how much their jealousy of his wealth offends him while President Hope runs off to drone bomb another crowd of women and children attending a funeral in Pakistan, for freedom. The best advice here is to actually go to one of these events if you want to know what is happening, since the odds are good that Wednesday’s newspapers are going to be plastered with pictures of kittens instead of actual news reports on the protests. How will America’s corporate news outlets manage coverage this time? Read more on How Will Media Totally Avoid Useful News Coverage of May Day Protests?…
  there will be blood

Here Is Your New Occupy Wall Street Poster Of A Unicorn Biting Pepper-Spray Cop’s Head Off

What it says, dudes. So you know how all the liberal media are always whining, “BUT WE DON’T KNOW WHAT OCCUPY IS FOOOOOR,” and you tell them shut up of course you know what Occupy is for? And that is to END THE FED and IMPEACH OBAMA because WAR CRIMES and also I WILL NOT VOTE FOR THE ‘LESSER OF TWO EVILS,’ at which point your editrix punches her little Occupy brother in the face (no, not that little brother, a different little brother) and explains that a Nader vote carries with it real-life consequences, mostly in the form of a lifetime of shame. Read more on Here Is Your New Occupy Wall Street Poster Of A Unicorn Biting Pepper-Spray Cop’s Head Off…
  invasion day

Indigenous Australian Heroes Nearly Capture Australian Prime Minster

In a bold strike of the kind we hope to see in a lot of nations this year, a protesting group of indigenous people mobbed Australian prime minster Julia Gillard and opposition leader Tony Abbott from a fancy 1% restaurant in the capital of Canberra — Gillard and Abbott were about to be torn apart, but their security teams managed to drag the politicians to safety. Why all the excitement? Because right-winger Tony Abbott suggested tearing down the aboriginal “tent embassy” erected 40 years ago in protest of two centuries of brutal oppression by the colonizing Europeans. Things are very weird in Australia! It’s sort of like if America went straight from the Old West/Plantation Era directly to the Earth Day hippie Beatles world circa 1970, with nothing in the middle. Read more on Indigenous Australian Heroes Nearly Capture Australian Prime Minster…
  let freedom ring

Niger, El Salvador Beat United States in Press Freedom Last Year

The United States placed a thrilling 47th on the newly-released index of worldwide press freedom compiled by Reporters Without Borders, go team! This is 27 places worse than the previous year, owing to all the great fun cops across the nation had arresting, brutalizing and obstructing the work of journalists during the Occupy Wall Street protests. We were trying to type a bit of humor about some scandalously idiotic screaming exchange between Barack Obama and Arizona’s dingbat teabagger governor Jan Brewer that’s taking a dump all over our news feed, but then we just kept thinking to ourselves: Ha ha, maybe we will avoid this kind of thing just once, because this story — a White House pool reporter excitedly detailing a brief, meaningless spat between enemy politicians only because it deviates slightly from the usual banal protocol and then twenty other news sites repeating the account almost verbatim like it matters — is pretty much the exact kind of story that we fear being the only kind of story on our political news feed when we think about how much Michael Bloomberg wishes he could have shipped every journalist covering the police brutality against #OWS protesters to Guantanamo for a couple months/forever. Read more on Niger, El Salvador Beat United States in Press Freedom Last Year…
  establishment marketing techniques

Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company

The dull evidence of a typical hack political campaign is the “embargoed” speech or statement sent out many hours before the event it is supposed to address. And now we’ve got this email from a big P.R. firm claiming that the Occupy Wall Street response to Obama’s State of the Union speech is contained within this mass-mailed marketing material. That whole “mic check” thing was getting a bit stale even before it was written into a press release and sent to the nation’s political media with the dumb demand that it be kept from the common people’s eyes until after Barack Obama read his prepared comments. Read more on Occupy Wall Street’s Scripted SOTU Response ‘Embargoed’ By PR Company…
  police state sleazebags

Sketchy ‘Activist’ Trying To Sex You Is Just an Undercover Cop, Probably

Do you like to protest against the 1% and also rage against the machine and also find sex partners at the various activist actions? WATCH OUT, and not just for the usual reasons of venereal disease and having some dude never leave your couch. Undercover police are increasingly being given orders to have sexytime with young, sexy activists. Totally legal, at least in England, right now! (So Obama probably already made it “legal” in America, with a “signing statement.”) Read more on Sketchy ‘Activist’ Trying To Sex You Is Just an Undercover Cop, Probably…
  occupy 2012

2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart

The modern idea that human civilization would collapse in 2012 supposedly goes back to another overextended American empire on its last legs, that of the Maya. But like so much wrong thinking now popular in today’s United States, this concept made its first impression on the nation’s nervous consciousness through the teevee screen. In Search Of, the syndicated paranormal program hosted by Leonard Nimoy, claimed that the Mesoamerican long count calendar came to an end on December 24, 2011. (That date has moved a year forward in today’s paranoid circles.) You are probably waiting for the “Ron Paul connection,” at this point, and it is this: According to Leonard Nimoy reading a script for a pseudoscience documentary series in 1977, the end of the Mayan calendar would bring a cataclysmic earthquake, the collapse of the dominant civilization, and the creation of an internationalist New World Order. Actual scholars of the ancient Mayan culture, however, believe the end of the calendar would bring not disaster, but a wonderful celebration. Who’s right? WHO WILL WIN? Read more on 2012: A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy As the Human World Breaks Apart…
  hey this sounds familiar

Nobody Likes GOP Or Obama, So Third Party Hero Will Waste Nation’s Time

Republican candidates are all so awful that there’s a new frontrunner every week. Barack Obama, meanwhile, seems dedicated to little more than enraging his own supporters while also doing nothing about the economy while also turning America into a police-terror state. People are protesting! Times are terrible! Seems like we should probably just toss the whole rotten system in the toxic waste dump and try again, maybe this time without … corporate-welfare/warfare capitalism? No no no, that is “too radical,” what we need is another ultimately unsuccessful Third Party Candidate to safely release the steam of rage from the national pressure cooker. It worked in the 1980s and the 1990s and all the way to 2000, heh heh. (Funny how Liberal Democrats kind of lost the taste for Third Party candidates after the GOP stomped back into the White House using Nader’s cover, right?) Read more on Nobody Likes GOP Or Obama, So Third Party Hero Will Waste Nation’s Time…
  civil liberties say what

Boston Judge Rules Free Speech Doesn’t Count If Cops Need To Beat You

Judge Frances McIntyre lifted the restraining order preventing Boston Mayor Thomas Menino from gleefully sending in his minions to tear down the Occupy Boston encampment in Dewey Square, although the camp hasn’t yet been raided. Here’s the creepy stand-out line from the judge’s ruling: “Little in the way of expression is outlawed in the United States Constitution, but an act which incites forceful response is unlikely to pass as express speech.” Uhhh. So new memo to everyone! You can “express” yourself all you want, up until the cops/nervous mayors/freaked out bank executives decide your face would look a little more friendly to them with pepper spray in it. Thanks for clarifying! Read more on Boston Judge Rules Free Speech Doesn’t Count If Cops Need To Beat You…
  capitalism is now a dirty word

Republican Strategists ‘Frightened To Death’ By #OWS Movement

While the Occupy Wall Street movement can sometimes seem to be more about tents and police and pepper spray than the crushing economic injustice in this country, Republican political operatives are having no trouble at all figuring out exactly what #OWS wants. “I’m so scared of this anti-Wall Street effort. I’m frightened to death,” top GOP strategist Frank Luntz said at the Republican Governors Association meeting in Orlando this week. “They’re having an impact on what the American people think of capitalism.” Uh oh, looks like the dupes are starting to figure out capitalism isn’t fair. The GOP better have some pat answers ready when their former stooges in the destroyed middle class start asking fancy questions about income equality! Read more on Republican Strategists ‘Frightened To Death’ By #OWS Movement…
  dwarf dictators

Power-Crazed Twerp Bloomberg: ‘I Have My Own Army’

Sociopathic kleptocrat billionaire Micheal Bloomberg came back from his castle on Bermuda to announce that buying three terms as New York’s mayor is the bestest present he could buy someone as awesome as himself, because he has “the seventh biggest army in the world” in the form of the NYPD, his own personal military force. You know who else had their own huge army, before their heads rolled into a handcrafted French basket? Read more on Power-Crazed Twerp Bloomberg: ‘I Have My Own Army’…
  2012 can't come quick enough

‘Black Friday’ Champs Walk Over Dying Man To Buy Target Crap

Pepper spray was a-spraying, knives were a-stabbing, guns were a-shooting, muggers were a-mugging, punchers were a-punching — it was a “Black Friday” celebration that truly proved if you’re not a part of the worldwide anti-corporate protests, then you’re actually a very stinky part of the problem. But the Gold Medal in Applied Assjerk Consumerism goes to the shoppers at the Target crap box store in South Charleston, West Virginia: These bargain-crazed mouth-breathing waterheads literally walked over a dying 61-year-old man who collapsed in the aisles. Can we please do an “alternate history swap” and have the Native Americans defeat the Europeans? Please? Read more on ‘Black Friday’ Champs Walk Over Dying Man To Buy Target Crap…
  #occupy homeland security

What’s Really Behind the Nationwide Raids Against #OWS

For a decade now, the Department of Homeland Security has coordinated the law enforcement efforts of America’s major cities, both through the U.S. Conference of Mayors and through a direct network of the nation’s big city police chiefs. And yet, there was widespread “mainstream media” suspicion when reports surfaced of coordinated national assaults against the economic-justice protests. Why would a public so used to illegal federal wiretapping and constant physical surveillance of U.S. Muslim communities and infiltration of anti-war groups in America be surprised by the fact that federal law enforcement agencies were working to stop nationwide protests against the political/economic regime? Isn’t that their job, to stop their corrupt regime from being toppled? Read more on What’s Really Behind the Nationwide Raids Against #OWS…
  liveblogging the turkeys

Liveblogging the GOP Dingbats Debating This Mysterious World

It’s time for the least-informed people in America to debate the whole world, or something! Welcome, happy thanksgiving! We finally have the CNN livefeed working, and now it’s time to painstakingly document the Brutal Idiocy we are about to be subjected to, for America. Read more on Liveblogging the GOP Dingbats Debating This Mysterious World…
  revolutionary politics

#OccupyLA Wins: LA City Council Offers Downtown Office, Homeless Housing, Farmland!

We don’t hear a whole lot about #OccupyLA because the City Council has been so cool about it. But now, after nearly two months of the City Hall lawn being used as a campground, the city leaders would like to politely move the protest off the grounds while also supporting its continued work. Read more on #OccupyLA Wins: LA City Council Offers Downtown Office, Homeless Housing, Farmland!…
  why didn't she think of this before

Nancy Pelosi Shamelessly Tries To Cash In On Occupy Wall Street

The Democratic Party is still not entirely sure what to do with this “Occupy Wall Street” stuff beyond allowing for a few cautious statements from one or another “liberal” member of Congress let out of the pen for a few minutes to say something to the effect of “it’s possible people might be somewhat fed up with a few things going on these days, like being poor despite working three jobs, maybe?” while studiously avoiding mention of the influence of Wall Street oligarchs in government or the actual uprising of thousands of angry Americans or the vicious police brutality against them. (Bernie Sanders and Dennis Kucinich are the only real exceptions.) But surely, OWS must be also be “good for something,” politically speaking, besides embarrassing the Democrats into looking like a bunch of establishment ninnies as beholden to the incessant demands of kleptocrats as the Republicans? Nancy Pelosi has an idea about that! It’s “fundraising,” to make sure the DCCC doesn’t miss out on any of the outrage dollars that might flow forth after a recent memo surfaced showing nervous conservatives plotting to discredit OWS leaders. She can’t quite bring herself to actually soil her email plea with the words “Occupy Wall Street,” though, why is that? Read more on Nancy Pelosi Shamelessly Tries To Cash In On Occupy Wall Street…
  fail

Not Even FBI Cares About Bloomberg’s Phony Terror Suspect

While #OWS protesters created a “weaponized drum circle” around Michael Bloomberg’s mansion over the weekend, the mayor’s attempt to get people to freak out about the terrorisms was a total failure. Not even the terror-happy federal government was convinced by New York’s lame-o made-up terror suspect. Reuters reports: Read more on Not Even FBI Cares About Bloomberg’s Phony Terror Suspect…