Boo on you, Forbes meanies, for suggesting our beloved girlfriend Sheila Bair isn’t the most powerful woman in the world. Still, #2 ain’t bad! Who rounds out the top five? Some Pepsi person, a common mineral miner, and the chief executive of Singapore’s sovereign wealth fund. In other words, a pack of nobodies who are probably a real drag at parties, all “I’ll just have a club soda with a slice of lime,” and with nothing to talk about except their work and the INSANE number of frequent flier miles they racked up last year. Sheila Bair, on the other hand, does not get along so well with Tim Geithner, which suggests she has at least the rudimentary genetic material required to grow a Soul. [Forbes]

Jon Favreau can make anybody feel like a failure, because he is super young and successful and takes excellent transcription notes from President Obama’s Teleprompter. If you’re an aspiring young speechwriter, you look at him and go “Shit by the time he was my age he was already FAMOUS” and if you are an old libtard you just think, “Enh, too late for me to do anything with my life.” MORE »