Wonkette

• When Obama was the nine-year-old boy-king of the Terrorists, in the 60s, he personally gave the order for Bill Ayers to nuke McCain’s best friend’s living room. [Top of the Ticket]
• 100% of the Maverick’s dumb teevee commercials are negative. Only 1/3 of Obama’s are negative. [Marc Ambinder]
• Palin rambles off all the prepositions she knows in addition to the phrase “New York Times” as her response to the question of why Obama’s first marriage to Bill Ayers has anything to do with anything. [Andrew Sullivan]
• Hooray the White House is pink, for Breast Cancer Awareness Month. Sarah Palin wants to remind you that Obama is still black. [DC Examiner]
• McCain set fire to John Edwards’ father’s mill, which Americans have been using for centuries to sew the patriotism into flags. And then he shipped that burnt husk of a mill to China, just because he can. [Ben Smith]

David Brooks, in today’s New York Times, finally reveals what we suspected all along: he really doesn’t do any thinking for himself. Brooks unashamedly admits that he listens to songs from The O.C. soundtrack because “I just log on to iTunes and it tells me what I like.” He also drives where his car tells him to drive and doesn’t have a memory any more because Yahoo, Google and Wikipedia hijacked his cerebellum long ago. “I’m no longer clear on where I end and my BlackBerry begins,” he states, and this explains a lot, doesn’t it? It gets worse, though, because then he gets cosmic: “I have relinquished control over my decisions to the universal mind. I have fused with the knowledge of the cybersphere, and entered the bliss of a higher metaphysic.” We look forward to the day when Brooks receives his “lolcats” implant, because he’ll be way more entertaining when he finally does. MORE »

Meet the new Lou Dobbs: He’s still a smug, loud-mouthed Mexican-hating phony, but he’s also a Bangalore call-center worker. And instead of orange hair, he’s got normal brown hair. And he’s got an Indian accent — just listen to him roll those R’s when he says “America’s Broken Borders” 39 times per broadcast. MORE »

Hey, it’s Friday — so please indulge our weakness for picture posts. MORE »