Tag Archives: outrage

  Oh Also The Entire Premise of The Story Is False. Did We Mention That?

Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)

NOT EVEN LIBERAL BLOG WONKETTE is offended by this. Giggling at, yes. Offended, no.
Yr Wonkette likes to think we are firmly in the radical gun-grabbing kneejerk pantywaist big sissy liberal portion of the political spectrum, but once in a rare while we find ourselves reading about something that is so idiotic that Even the Liberal Blog Wonkette has to agree it’s just too stupid for words. For instance, this story from Dallas about a nice couple, Stephanie Wehner and her fiancé Mitch Strobl, who submitted a packet of engagement photos to Walmart for copying. The photos came back with one photo missing — a tender loving picture of the gal, the beau, and the beau’s first true love, a “12 gauge Ruger Red Label Shotgun,” the very first gun he bought himself. Read more on Texas Walmart Discriminates Against Shotgun Wedding Photo (With Actual Shotgun)…
  Are there no workhouses?

States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed

TRIGGER WARNING: It appears that several states are following the law as laid out in the new farm bill to… wait for it… help poor people eat!!!!1!1! Oh, the humanity! Are you outraged? Are you clutching your pearls while your panties bunch themselves in a wad? We should have warned for earmuffs for all children, because the level of bamboozlement and chicanery and hoodwinkery should get a Political NC-17 rating, turning up the faux-rage to eleven… nay, to TWELVE. TWELVE WE SAY. TWELVE. Sorry we are breaking such awful news to you. Despite the efforts of the GOP (and all too many weak-willed Dems) to cut food stamps by some $8 billion, states are finding ways to continue to provide food stamps, much to the petulant outrage of the GOP, per The Hill: “I would hope that the House would act to try to stop this cheating and this fraud from continuing,” Boehner said. Clearly. States are doing their best to eradicate child malnutrition, and This. Must. Be. Stopped.  Read more on States Find Farm Bill Loophole To Feed Poor People; Jesus And GOP Righteously Pissed…
  what a snob

Kentucky Republicans Post Gotcha Vid Of Senate Candidate Riding In Back Seat Of Own Car Like Some La Dee Da Princess Lady

Kentucky Democrats can say goodbye to any hope of ousting Mitch McConnell, now that the state’s chapter of College Republicans have posted this shocking video of Kentucky Secretary of State and senatorial candidate Alison Lundergan Grimes being picked up at the airport by her husband. The video shows her sitting in the back seat of the couple’s black Suburban as her husband puts her luggage in the back. The nerve of that woman! The College Republicans’ press release gasps: We think you’ll agree – this.is.weird. We couldn’t agree more. Who the hell uses hipster emphasis periods without capitalizing or spacing? That. Is. Stupid. Read more on Kentucky Republicans Post Gotcha Vid Of Senate Candidate Riding In Back Seat Of Own Car Like Some La Dee Da Princess Lady…
  But no golf for you!

White House Tours Now More Important Than Eating, Praying, Pretty Much Everything In Universe

Does anyone know what the greatest threat to our Republic is today? Could it be the ever-expanding power of the unitary executive? Income inequality? Exploding health care costs? High unemployment? Marshmallows? No, silly Wonket. Everyone knows it is spending. Specifically spending on the White House by King Obama XVI and his wife Michelle Antoinnette, who love to use taxpayer money for fancy vacations and four-star chefs and their own private plane. If standing in long airport lines and having our genitals cupped by lonely TSA agents “providing security” is good enough for us plebiscites, it should be good enough for you, Nobama! Read more on White House Tours Now More Important Than Eating, Praying, Pretty Much Everything In Universe…
  this bird you can change it turns out

Lynyrd Skynyrd Latest Victims Of Obama’s Thought Police

If there is one musical group that we know defends Real American Values, it’s Lynyrd Skynyrd. They bravely stood up for segregation and other forms of awesomeness, and while Jimmy Carter’s CIA managed to kill most of the original members in an “accidental” plane crash, a new version of the band was formed during the Reagan administration to spread the message everywhere that the South will rise again and such, often performing in front of a giant Confederate flag. But now even that is being taken away from us, because Obamabot mind-control operatives have brainwashed Lynyrd Skynyrd into a bunch of liberals who don’t want segregation and slavery restored, not even a little. Read more on Lynyrd Skynyrd Latest Victims Of Obama’s Thought Police…
  there's about to be a rush on baby carrots

Wingnuts Protest in D.C. For Right To Feed Healthy Food To Kids, What?

First the lunch Nazis came in their moon buggies to force healthier school meals on children with a tyrannical attempt to redefine pizza sauce as “not a vegetable.” They lost! So now the lunch Nazis are back again to wage a devious new battle that is confusingly the total opposite of the previous one: They are stealing healthy homemade lunches from children and forcing them to eat the poisonous sawdust shavings the agricultural industry repackages to dump in school cafeterias! According to recent shrieking noises from the right-wing blog section of the Internet, a government agent stormed into a North Carolina school cafeteria, stole a preschooler’s turkey sandwich and her apple and then forced the preschooler to go stand in the Soviet cafeteria line and cry high-sodium tears while she was given a new tray piled with deep-fried chicken toenails. Thus a group of confused wingnuts gathered for a “lunch-in” today in D.C.’s Freedom Plaza to eat low-calorie sandwiches and fruit, to protest the government. Has Michelle Obama’s campaign to fight childhood obesity been going about it the wrong way this whole time? Read more on Wingnuts Protest in D.C. For Right To Feed Healthy Food To Kids, What?…
  flotus files

America Reacts to New McDonald’s Happy Meals on Photoshop

It appears that this country might actually continue to exist for a little while, so our FLOTUS Michelle Obama will probably come out of hiding now, to politely suggest that everyone wipe their tears, put down the anusburgers and jump on a treadmill. Of course, America never likes these sort of suggestions from the First Lady, and she knows it. Last week, she sort of acknowledged McDonald’s for deciding to reduce the calories of its Happy Meals, and some people lost their cool. Fox News must either order a lot of these Happy Meals or really hate apples (probably both, because apples are elitist), because the Crazy really kicked into high gear. Deranged photo contests ensued. Read more on America Reacts to New McDonald’s Happy Meals on Photoshop…
  flotus files

Michelle Obama to Destroy Food Pyramid With Her Vegetable Plate

Our Michelle spent last week drinking her way around the world, or more specifically, in Europe. She went there to hang out with that Kate lady and wear different outfits so that the Internet could vote about who was fancier. (The correct answer is that FLOTUS is always fancier. Always.) But even when our FLOTUS is pounding light beers across the Atlantic, the terrible war against obesity continues. And this week, with Michelle leading the way, America prepares for the next phase of this war: the destruction of one of America’s most cherished nonsensical infographics, the food pyramid. Read more on Michelle Obama to Destroy Food Pyramid With Her Vegetable Plate…
  circles within circles

DAVE WEIGEL LANDS AT WASHINGTON POST WEBZINE: The long, weird, dumb career journey of Teabagger Beat hero Dave Weigel has ended, for now: Having been pushed off the Washington Post weblog to great outrage a month or whenever ago, Weigel has now been hired by the other weblog owned by the Washington Post, Slate.com. [Via the secret new JournoList] Read more on …
  clown show

Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Televised Assault of Ex-Gen. McChrystal

UPDATE: MCCHRYSTAL IS FIRED. PETRAEUS REPLACES HIM. If George Washington was still commander in chief, Stanley McChrystal would be swinging from the gallows today. But no, we’ve got Barack Obama, who has to have scheduled meetings with everybody, while John Adams seethes in the hallway. And any moment now, Obama will step out to tell the world the fate of America’s Biggest Asshole, Stanley McChrystal, who already left the White House after a half-hour meeting in which the two men discussed such matters as “WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU JESUS CHRIST ARE YOU BRAIN DAMAGED? DID A SHELL LAND ON YOUR REDNECK SKULL?” Read more on Liveblogging Barack Obama’s Televised Assault of Ex-Gen. McChrystal…
  just like nixon

NOOOOOO: Entertainment Industry Kills Palin ‘Boob-Gate’

Fox News and the popular entertainment press have conspired to kill off Sarah Palin’s “Boob-Gate.” It’s over and finished, done, no more fun, no more page views, basically the end of America — but not really, because Palin herself had to get in a cutesy teevee reacharound with her Scientologist enabler Greta Van Susteren before the two cable clowns could pronounce the matter dead. Dare we share the gross video with the Wonkette community, on an otherwise lovely weekend afternoon? Does the Pope help priests rape children? Read more on NOOOOOO: Entertainment Industry Kills Palin ‘Boob-Gate’…
  she's going back to poland

Helen Thomas Retires At 89

You could see this one coming: “Helen Thomas announced Monday that she is retiring, effective immediately. Her decision came after her controversial comments about Israel and the Palestinians were captured on videotape and widely disseminated on the Internet.” Read more on Helen Thomas Retires At 89…
  joe biden's worst ever gaffe

If Joe Biden Loves Israel Attacking the Humanitarian Boats So Much, Why Does He Pose On Arabic Sesame Street?

Vice President Joe Biden did two things Wednesday night: He went on the Charlie Rose interview show to defend Israel’s attack on the humanitarian flotilla trying to bring supplies to walled-off Gaza, and he attended some Sesame Street gala event. Which of these things are not like the other? Both of them, as you can clearly see from this promotional photograph released by the Sesame Street organization. Yeah, that’s right, Biden is standing right underneath the Arabic sign for Sesame Street. Read more on If Joe Biden Loves Israel Attacking the Humanitarian Boats So Much, Why Does He Pose On Arabic Sesame Street?…
  why didn't obama abort romanoff in the 1960s?

Andrew Romanoff Angrily Demanding Jobs From Everyone

Colorado whiner/Democrat Andrew Romanoff just keeps demanding fancy political appointments from everyone, from the governor to the president, and wah wah if he doesn’t get what he wants he’ll just run against the Democrat Senator from Colorado, because that’s what widdle cwy-babies do when nobody changes their diapers fast enough. In his home state, it seems people have known about Romanoff’s tantrums and demands for a long time. Let’s look at this September 2009 article from the Denver Post, all about how Andrew only decided to put himself in a primary against the actual junior Democrat senator from Colorado after the governor wouldn’t give him a sweet jerb. Read more on Andrew Romanoff Angrily Demanding Jobs From Everyone…
  make darrell issa cry

But Could Saint Ronald Reagan Possibly Be As Corrupt As Barack Obama?

Some communist somewhere is circulating this old AP newspaper clipping claiming that the sainted Reagan Administration did that thing that every political leadership has done since the Dawn of Politics, and frankly it’s insulting to the memory of The Gipper to even suggest his White House would’ve offered an ambassadorship or administration job to a Republican facing a tough GOP primary that could divide the base. Seriously, look at this news clipping and ask yourself, “Doesn’t this font look kind of funny?” Read more on But Could Saint Ronald Reagan Possibly Be As Corrupt As Barack Obama?…