Wonkette

Now that the economy has been saved, by the government, we can all get back to the business of America, which is “waiting for handouts from John McCain.” Remember how much John McCain hates earmarks and how when he pretends to be president he’s always vetoing any bills with earmarks? Heh heh, he was just telling lies again. He voted for the bailout, and it is so full of earmarks, it is like, uh, a large container filled with earmarks. Pork earmarks, on pigs. MORE »

Oh boo hoo, yet another broke operation wants billions from Henry “Dollar Bill” Paulson: the state of California! MORE »

GOOD LORD: Here is the most tragic thing you’ll see today, “Foreclosure Alley,” from KCET in Southern California. Thanks to commenter qwerty42 for bumming us out. [KCET via Andrew Sullivan]

If you’re at work today — and screwing around on the Internet, as usual — then good for you! This means you aren’t one of the 159,000 people who lost their jobs last month. The number is “unexpectedly large,” and the monthly job-loss rate is the biggest seen for FIVE AND A HALF YEARS, which should help the McCain campaign. The official unemployment rate remains 6.1% and 760,000 non-farm full-time jobs have vanished so far this year. [Reuters/Marketwatch]

• DOW DROPS 348 TO THREE-YEAR LOW: Whoops. All the big indexes are down another 3%-4%. Even oil and gold lost big. Joblessness, manufacturing declines, basically everything is horrible, forever. [Bloomberg]

WE HAVEN’T HIT BOTTOM YET: “With a winning bid of just $1.75, a Chicago woman has won an auction for an abandoned home in Saginaw.” [AP/Yahoo]

Got $12 million burning a hole in your pockets? Need a new mansion in Arizona? How about this little place, one of John and Cindy McCain’s unwanted castles? MORE »

NPR is running this terrible phone interview with John McCain this morning. As the nutty old man says a lot of obnoxious nonsense punctuated by his hideous “heh heh” chuckles, you may be tempted to just turn off the radio and crash the car, for the sake of dignity. But go ahead and listen as he says this: “We’re in the most serious financial crisis of our, uh, ergh, lifetime.” Heh heh, McCain was born in 1936 — the middle of the Great Depression. MORE »

John McCain pissed off about a million Republican businessmen (and especially George Will) when he angrily pretended to fire Securities & Exchange Commission chairman Christopher Cox. Then the maverick idiot announced he wanted New York Attorney General Andrew Cuomo — a famous Democrat who was even married to a Kennedy, once — to take over the SEC. Obviously, Cuomo directly caused the entire American economic collapse: “Andrew Cuomo, the youngest Housing and Urban Development secretary in history, made a series of decisions between 1997 and 2001 that gave birth to the country’s current crisis.” [Village Voice]

The rich ladies of D.C. (and Northern Virginia) used to have fancy wine parties where they would buy fancy kitchen crap or $500 dildos or whatever, but now there is no money, for anything. This is why the fancy white women are now having “gold parties,” at which they sell whatever golden trinkets they can find in their monstrous foreclosed McMansions. “Suzy Senkus brought a bracelet given to her once upon a time by a handsome doctor, who then cheated on her with a nurse.” What a trashy nation. [Washington Post]

WHY DOES HITCHENS HATE AMERICA? “America is doomed. No one in this room will ever, in their lifetime, see calm and order and peace!” [Gawker]