Feeling a little fancy today? You should be! If you’re Canadian, we mean …. Because the Bank of Canada has announced the Horrible Recession is over, done, finished, kaput, était finie. But only in Canada, and only for Canadians. Dang. [Canada.com/Globe and Mail]

Some math wizards down in Texas have come to an incredible conclusion: What with 6.5 million lost jobs since this Hellcession began, there’s less rush-hour traffic. HEY THAT ALMOST MAKES A CRAZY KIND OF SENSE. But the news isn’t all good. MORE »

The New York Times has a SCOOP, about Larry Summers! He is still a dick to everybody, and the rest of the White House economics team pretty much hates him — except for the President, who endures his terrible behavior because he is so BRILLIANT. MORE »

• HOORAY! Says the CEO of the now-bankrupt General Motors: “The GM you knew, the GM that let so many of you down, is history.” Stocks are just cold going nuts, Dow up 215+ at the moment. [Marketwatch]

Wow it’s morning so that means Barack Obama is giving televised remarks about the latest failed giant business he’s buying us for Ramadan. General Motors! “The collapse of these companies would’ve been devastating to America,” etc., yes we know, “and it would be good for American workers and American manufacturing and good for America’s economy” if, heh heh, GM didn’t have to pay all its debts. Let’s live-blog this by liveblogging, now! MORE »

Remember the Housing Bubble and the gazillion bullshit mortgages that caused the entire global economy to collapse and send us into a terrible World Depression? It’s still going down! The housing crash, that is — one in eight homeowners is now either in default or in foreclosure, a new record! MORE »

There is a crazy bald dude on CNBC, and he is going super-double crazy. And here, introducing this CNBC clip of insanity, is a guy in California who is … driving and doing a YouTube video at the same time, about how Californians will soon be sent to Concentration Camps. So, pack a suitcase and drive around! Let’s see some more of this wacky CNBC weirdo, Jeff Macke. MORE »

The good news is that new unemployment claims were down a bit from the previous terrible week. The bad news is that there were more new jobless people than dumb economists had predicted. The worse news is that we now have 6.66 million people getting unemployment benefits, which proves the Devil is not only a true thing, but He’s here in America, having fun. Oh also millions more have just completely given up even looking for work, and their unemployment payments ran out long ago. [Bloomberg]

Here’s a teevee news report from Rochester, NY about some Popeye’s running out of chicken. Like so much that happens in America, it is both hilarious and tragic. But! The people who are unable to procure their fried chicken, in this video, well they are black, which is a racial issue. And, it turns out, Popeye’s isn’t the only fried-chicken chain having issues related to black people. Is this really the America we expected after Barack Obama’s landslide victory? MORE »

Sure, Barack Obama changed his mind about releasing the very scary photos of widespread medieval U.S. war crimes everywhere, but Robert Gibbs cut off that leftist hippie firestorm right quick when he stole a reporter’s telephone and everyone got distracted and forgot about war and stuff. What’s the other terrible thing happening in the world now? Oh yes, money, and how we lost all of it after a few companies had to put up collateral on all those credit default swaps they made in secret, but then they didn’t have any reserves whatsoever, because saving is gay. Well the Treasury is finally releasing a plan to introduce basic, very basic regulations to the derivatives market. Why does the government hate capitalism? MORE »

Hey remember just like a couple months ago when everybody was so angry over the AIG bonuses? Get ready to be outraged all over again because duh, of course a whole bunch of people knew these bonuses were going to be awarded and they did nothing to stop it because they were too busy saving the whole financial system from ruin. Bad PR move! MORE »