Tag Archives: our flourishing economy

  comment of the day

Dow Soars 62% Since Obama Took Office; Do Stocks Have Liberal Bias?

It is time for the not-really-daily Daily Feature, Wonkette’s Win of the Afternoon. Today’s star comment notes that the Dow Jones Industrial Average has soared an astonishing 62% (sixty-two percent!) since the Kenyan Socialist Barack Obama seized the White House in a violent Saul Alinsky coup that left over 1 billion Americans tragically murdered. Jeez, 62%! Guess we should’ve invested everything (forty bucks and a baggie of stems and seeds) in a low-cost index fund that tracked the Dow 30! Read more on Dow Soars 62% Since Obama Took Office; Do Stocks Have Liberal Bias?…
  four more years

Dow Jones Index Hits 13,000 For First Time Since Obamacare/Socialism

Back in May of 2008, everything was awesome. George W. Bush was the president, for example, and we were only a few months into the nationwide housing collapse that is still lingering today. And that was the last time the DJIA stock index of major U.S. companies touched 13,000. Read more on Dow Jones Index Hits 13,000 For First Time Since Obamacare/Socialism…
  one very small step for lego man

Canada (Two Teenagers + Lego Man) Takes Over American Space Program

Things have not been going so well for America’s space program. We had a sad when we read about how the Obama Administration basically told Barack he could not have any exciting or inspirational “moon shot” programs, because everything had to go to Wall Street (heh heh). So not only did “moon shot”-style inspirational programs such as the “national smart energy grid” or whatever get killed, but the actual NASA program to send people to the Moon and to Mars got killed. Granted, those programs were giant boondoggles and probably never would’ve sent anyone anywhere, except to federal prison for bribery, but …. And now two Canadian kids have sent a (Lego) man into space, for about $400. Read more on Canada (Two Teenagers + Lego Man) Takes Over American Space Program…
  it gets better

Mitt Romney On Right-Wing Radio: Economy’s Getting So Much Better Under Obama!

Uhh, okay, we will not argue with you that much, Mittens: INGRAHAM: You’ve also noted that there are signs of improvement on the horizon in the economy. How do you answer the president’s argument that the economy is getting better in a general election campaign if you yourself are saying it’s getting better? Read more on Mitt Romney On Right-Wing Radio: Economy’s Getting So Much Better Under Obama!…
  gifzette daily briefing

Jobs Report Slightly Less Awful, Democrats About to Beat GOP For Once

NEW YORK—Big news this morning out of the Bureau of Labor Statistics: the unemployment rate dropped! Like, a lot! People without jobs are now at the lowest number they’ve been at since six months or so after the economy fell off a cliff (which, it should be noted, still remains at an astoundingly high 13.3 million people without jobs). Read more on Jobs Report Slightly Less Awful, Democrats About to Beat GOP For Once…
  liveblogging the turkeys

Liveblogging the GOP Dingbats Debating This Mysterious World

It’s time for the least-informed people in America to debate the whole world, or something! Welcome, happy thanksgiving! We finally have the CNN livefeed working, and now it’s time to painstakingly document the Brutal Idiocy we are about to be subjected to, for America. Read more on Liveblogging the GOP Dingbats Debating This Mysterious World…
  gifzette daily briefing

Super Committee Flops, Stocks Drop, Newt Glops

NEW YORK — In a surprise to no one who has any sort of functioning memory of Washington over the last decade (i.e. not the Beltway press), the supercommittee has failed. Gird yourselves now for the coming year of annoying politicians repeating annoying terms like “trigger” and “sequester. Hilariously, Wall Street plunged a couple of percentage points on the news yesterday, demonstrating once again that the people running Wall Street are exceptionally incapable goofballs who hadn’t yet accounted for the inevitable failure that 70% of the 99% were betting on. Read more on Super Committee Flops, Stocks Drop, Newt Glops…
  occupy poverty

Random Gang Shooting Near Occupy Oakland Causes News Coverage of Random Gang Shooting In Oakland

Did you hear some dude got capped in downtown Oakland the other day, and died? This happens a lot in the poor parts of Oakland, and elsewhere in the United States. But, thanks to the unrelated Occupy protest/camp currently occupying the grim downtown of Oak-Town, this gun killing got coverage all over the country. The Authorities are even using it as an excuse to shut down #Occupy Oakland! You know, because there is apparently gang violence in this nation of 50 million poor people and Zero Hope and a billion guns. Read more on Random Gang Shooting Near Occupy Oakland Causes News Coverage of Random Gang Shooting In Oakland…
  not so funny anymore

Taiwan Animators Freak Out Over NYT Proposal For US To Abandon Taiwan

Those NMA.tv Taiwanese animations were all fun and games when they were about idiot Teabaggers and Sarah Palin being a fat teen-aged stripper or whatever. But now that the New York Times has suggested that Washington “pay off” its debt to China by letting China invade and take over Taiwan, well now the videos have a bit more bite. Read more on Taiwan Animators Freak Out Over NYT Proposal For US To Abandon Taiwan…
  job creation vs. evolution

Elizabeth Warren Hates ‘Job Creation’ For Sympathizing With Jobless

How do you prove you hate “job creation” in America? According to a new GOP commercial attacking Elizabeth Warren, you do this by expressing sympathy and support for the jobless Americans taking part in the Occupy protests nationwide. The ad was created by Karl Rove’s anus Crossroads Grassroots Policy Strategies, some wingnut consulting firm that is legally a fetus in America. The commercial’s ominous narration says, “Fourteen million out of work, but instead of focusing on jobs, Elizabeth Warren sides with extreme left protests.” So it’s apparently “extreme left” to protest joblessness, and it’s not “focusing on jobs” to support the jobless who are protesting joblessness, is that right? This is going to be a tough campaign year for the Karl Roves of this world! Read more on Elizabeth Warren Hates ‘Job Creation’ For Sympathizing With Jobless…
  this is halloween

Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families

The first reaction most decent people will have when seeing these pictures of last year’s Halloween costume party at the foreclosure mill law offices of Steven J. Baum is overwhelming disgust and nausea, followed by an overwhelming desire to storm these offices on Monday and “make an example.” But the employees of Steven J. Baum are, ultimately, wage slaves to the institutionalized cruelty and dehumanization that defines America’s economic system. The people pictured here look like legal assistants and secretaries and paralegals and receptionists and file clerks and low-level litigators, all probably underwater on their own mortgages and all much closer to economic catastrophe than they’d care to admit — this firm is in a suburb of Buffalo, after all. It is crucial that the Steven J. Baums of the world force their own wage slaves into opposition against the rest of the nation’s wage slaves. This is why Oakland’s police officers, many of them military veterans, are so ready to viciously attack other military veterans. It’s why a “Tea Party” of Ron Paul supporters was hijacked by the billionaire Koch Brothers and turned into a manufactured outrage of middle-class whites against middle-class whites (and the minorities and lower classes, as always). Read more on Foreclosure Mill Law Firm Costume Fun: Dress As Homeless Families…
  poorburbs

U.S. Suburbs Now Just Sprawling Hell-Camps For the Poor

The scared white working class used to flee The Poors and The Coloreds by moving to the next new ring of surburbia, which helped create the Architecture of Banal Oppression that defines this ruined country. But now the next (last) ring of suburbia/exurbia is where The Poors have wound up … and it turns out The Poors are actually the people who last tried to escape the other Poors, and … oh god. Read more on U.S. Suburbs Now Just Sprawling Hell-Camps For the Poor…
  no country for old men

Both Sides of Congress Want Foreign Drug Lords To Buy U.S. Foreclosures

The serious proposals for fixing “the housing crisis” in this country have so far amounted to a) Alan Greenspan suggesting the federal government burn down the millions of vacant foreclosures across America and b) an actual government program that allowed Goldman Sachs to buy foreclosures in bulk for pennies on the dollar and then rent those same houses back to the financially ruined people who were evicted by the banks. But now there’s a new plan hatched by a Democrat and Republican in the Senate: Let any foreigner have a three-year residency visa as long as they spend half-a-million dollars, cash only, on some U.S. real estate. This proposal is foolproof. Read more on Both Sides of Congress Want Foreign Drug Lords To Buy U.S. Foreclosures…
  take your ball and go home

Tea Party Dingbats Vow To Pretend To Stop Hiring Jobseekers

As infamous walking cue-ball “Joe the Plumber” proved in 2008, America is top-loaded with dubiously employed gasbag wingnuts who believe they are the economic equals of the Koch Brothers. Each near-bankrupt sole proprietor of a drywall-hanging home-based business that hasn’t had any work since 2007 is now threatening to “stop job creation” because of the people protesting the banks. What happens when the teabaggers “go Galt” and nobody notices? Read more on Tea Party Dingbats Vow To Pretend To Stop Hiring Jobseekers…
  'dow jones can suck my bone'

‘I Hate Banks,’ the New National Anthem (From 1986)

People have been speaking to your editor about the prophetic words of the Reverend Mojo Nixon, particularly this song — recorded live with Skid Roper in a St. Louis club back when Ronald Reagan was still technically alive. So here it is, Ocupados, “I Hate Banks,” the legendary Wobblies campfire anthem from the 1980s. Read more on ‘I Hate Banks,’ the New National Anthem (From 1986)…
  fourth horseman

Cops Now Hunting Escaped Zoo Monsters

How are things in the American Heartland this morning? Very terrible, according to this video news report from … a comedy blog? A superhero musical? No, it’s from the Associated Press. Read more on Cops Now Hunting Escaped Zoo Monsters…