Wonkette

ELITIST PRESIDENT OBAMA HATES MOVIES? The Oscar ® Movie Awards nominees are always announced on January 20, of every year. But the next president of the United States doesn’t seem to care about America’s love affair with the Silver Screen, because January 20 is also when the next prez will be sworn in. So now the movies won’t be announced until, uh, two days later. [LAT Top of the Ticket]

THEY’RE ALL IN ON THE OBAMA SMEAR! Teevee’s Jon Stewart hosted the Oscar(TM) Teevee/Movie Awards last night, and he mentioned that Barry Hussein Obama’s middle name is “Hussein” while also noting how “Obama” rhymes with “Osama.” It was just a fun joke, of course! [Tabloid Baby]

* Heard on the Hill: There is a woman from DC on the American Idol television program, apparently… Rep. Kevin McCarthy (R-Calif.) roomed with, got lots of lectures from ex-House Ways and Means Chairman Bill Thomas… “GOP Sens. Richard Shelby (Ala.) and Craig Thomas (Wyo.) crossed party lines to vote to adjourn for the weeklong Presidents Day recess.” [Roll Call]
* Reliable Source: How did “famous” DC-ites do in their Oscar predictions? … Ralph Nader: still a dick. [WP]
* Yeas and Nays: Press Club dinner scandal! Mice at the Hilton! … Our next president to be chosen by Judge Judy… Press corps not allowed to watch Idiocracy on Air Force 2. [Examiner]
* Washington Whispers: Mitt Romney uses PowerPoint at campaign events… Al Gore is secretly just trying to make enough money to finance his ‘08 campaign himself… Dick Armey quit smoking. [USN&WR]
* Shenanigans: SCOTUS to rule on important car chase law… Hill staffers emailing around funny joke about Bush and JetBlue, look, you should just go read it, we can’t do it justice. [Politico]

If you watched the Oscars last night, you saw former Vice President Al Gore, still expanding at precisely the same rate as John Travolta, pick up an Academy Award for his Power-Point presentation. MORE »

Al Gore just gave another semi-solid refusal to run in ‘08, which means his plan is working just fine. MORE »

* New Fox show “Red Eye” gives the impression it came out of a brown eye. [Think Progress]
* “Getting kicked in the balls” now has a higher approval rating that you-know-who. [Radar]
* In case you hadn’t heard already, Al Gore’s announcing his candidacy at the Oscars, so watch if you care. [Intoxination]
* Somebody’s got to take the “bucket of warm piss.” [Political Insider]
* Republicans under FBI investigation losing their seats to Democrats? It’s not just hazy memories of 2006— the fun begins again in 2008! [Election Central]
* Happy fourth birfday to the bag of horseshit Colin Powell gave to the UN about Iraqi WMD. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]

* Which President has spent the most time talking about Pearl Harbor? Hint: It’s not Franklin Roosevelt. [Lawyers, Guns and Money]
* Buy two regular price blowjobs from DC hookers and they’ll keep your secret for free. [TPM Muckraker]
* President Bush wants a cookie for some shit he was supposed to do anyway. [Hotline on Call]
* DHS program that assigns “secret terrorist ratings to millions of U.S. citizens,” gets highest possible “Five Kafkas” for its scary PoMo essence. [Computerworld, The Heretik]
* Walnuts McCain hires a communications director even Wal-Mart thinks is too evil. [Election Central]
* Some people just have to be first: “Top Ten Funniest Political Moments of 2006.” [Extreme Mortman]
* On Oscar night, pay close attention to the size of Al Gore’s ass — that’s how you’ll know if he’s running in ‘08. [SFGate]

Most worrying press release of the day: MORE »

* Rush Limbaugh on Hillary Clinton: “She sounds like a screeching ex-wife.” Heh, he should know. [Media Matters] MORE »

* Brokeback Mountain fans: sore losers? [HuffPo] MORE »

So you didn’t watch the Academy Awards last night. Well, that’s okay; with the help of this handy little guide, you can pretend that you did. MORE »

* Oscar parties are a big deal in L.A. and New York — but we’re too cool for that in Washington. If you insist on watching that overlong spectacle, just stay at home and plan your own party. [Defamer; Gawker; WP] MORE »

This Sunday night brings us Hollywood’s big mutual masturbation festival, better known as the Academy Awards. In advance of Oscar night, conservative pundits are going through the motions of railing against clueless and/or evil Hollywood liberals. Ann Coulter has done it; and now it’s time for Jeff Gannon to say his piece.

After the jump, our fisking — yes, with a “k” — of Gannon’s column.

MORE »

* Reliable Source: J. Robert Oppenheimer biographers try to get his reputation restored, but reopening of case is nixed by judge’s son … Oscar Predictions: “Andrew Sullivan… pegs… Philip Seymour Hoffman….” (quote edited for hilarity). [WP]
* Under the Dome: Silvio Berlusconi gets an enthusiastic reception from Italian-American Congressmen, including Pat Leahy, who is a “Grand Official of the Republic of Italy” … Bottles of Pepto-Bismol sent to members of Congress by group protesting changes in state food-safety laws … Sheila Jackson Lee (D-TX) makes rhetorical leap from Thomas Edison to criticism of ports deal. … Congress about to let smoking ban pass. [The Hill]
* Lloyd Grove: Senator Hillary Clinton (D-NY) bashes Ports deal. Her husband Bill, meanwhile, praises Dubai as an “ally,” may have a financial stake in seeing them get the deal. [NYDN]