Wonkette

Sundance Film Festival promises to be a political battlefield this year. In an election year it always is. The latest hype machine to join the Sundance lineup is Morgan Spurlock’s documentary Where in the World Is Osama bin Laden?. Only a handful of potential buyers have seen a 15-minute clip of the film, which premieres this January at Sundance, but the director claims they “definitely got the holy grail.” Has Spurlock succeeded where the US government has failed? Has he found Osama bin Laden? I call bullshit. After the jump, Spurlock speaks.

MORE »

In his fourth taped message since September, Osama bin Laden has set his sights on Europe, calling for European powers to end their involvement in the war in Afghanistan and break off its alliances with the U.S. “Europe ‘walked behind’ the U.S. when it invaded Afghanistan,” bin Laden said in the tape, according to Bloomberg News. “It would be better for you if your politicians who flock to the White House instead worked to end the wrong done to oppressed peoples…. the European countries in this war don’t respect the conventions of war and are attacking women and children.” Then he reminded us that he was, like, totally responsible for the 9/11 attacks. Our clip, after the jump.

MORE »

Longtime Denver Broncos kicker Jason Elam is exploring his aesthetic side these days and has penned a new novel in collaboration with his pastor, Steve Yohn. It’s called Ulysses and takes place over the course of a day in Ireland. No no, that’s the other greatest book of all time. Jason Elam’s is called Monday Night Jihad, and it’s a “pro-football-themed spy thriller about fighting terrorists.” Coincidentally, that’s exactly how Fred Thompson is pitching his foreign policy approach. MORE »

A private spy company worked for years tracing Al Qaeda’s Internet and video distribution network, and was finally able to grab terrorist propaganda before it was released to the public. So it was a proud moment when the intelligence contractor, SITE Institute, presented the White House with a brand new Al Qaeda video — Bin Laden with his “Just For Men” beard dye job — on the condition that it be kept secret until Al Qaeda made it public.

Within hours, the Bush Administration had leaked it to Fox News, and “ruined years of clandestine work to find and exploit al Qaeda secrets on the Internet.”

Leak Severed Link To Al Qaeda’s Secrets [Washington Post]

“An American television evangelist has turned the tables on al-Qaida terrorist leader Osama bin Laden — sending him a video message warning him to repent of his sins and convert to Christianity.” [World Net Daily]

All across America, regular citizens are pitching in to help their country capture the man who attacked it six short years ago on September “9/11″ Eleventh. They’re a crafty bunch, these citizen warriors, and their resolve is strong. Take, for example, 46-year-old Gary Weddle. Weddle has patriotically vowed not to shave until Osama is captured. Unfortunately all the stories we can find on his quest are a year old, so we’re not sure if he’s still rocking the Sunni Madhab look. Or he might be more like Lufkin, Texas city attorney Bob Flournoy… MORE »

“Nixon received a lot of goodwill because of Tricia’s wedding. I’ve said before that President Bush’s best chance to come out of his term well is if they capture Osama bin Laden and one of the twins gets married.” [IndyStar]

Just look at the stunning evidence from his latest hit video: MORE »

So guess who chartered the jets that got all the Bin Ladens and Saudi royals out of America right after 9/11? According to the FBI, it was Osama bin Laden himself! Or the Saudi Royal Family — the FBI doesn’t really know, or apparently care, although it did fight for many years to conceal its paperwork on the mysterious flights cleared by the White House. Oh, and an earlier version of the released documents had Osama’s name blacked out, to protect his privacy. MORE »

Ohio crackpot Thomas Potter doesn’t believe the government’s official story of what happened on 9/11, and to prove his point, he found three listings for “Usama bin Laden” in an internet phone book. MORE »

MORE »

Osama bin Laden is rumored to be a “rogue” CIA asset who helped defeat the Soviets in Afghanistan and topple the Red Communist Menace and make America the greatest country in the world, so it’s no surprise that George W. Bush says he wants to make sweet man love to the terror bogeyman.

President’s Day ass-fucking details, after the jump.

MORE »

* Malkin gets a scalp … of some official campaign blogger … two years before anyone could possibly give a shit. [Navel of the Internet]
* The 27-page “weirdness report” on Rudy Giuliani leaves readers with a lingering sense of, “yea, obv.” [The Smoking Gun]
* Who wants to see pictures of John Boehner crying? [Think Progress]
* Blogger rips venerable news magazine over reporting practices, universe remains unexploded. [Horse's Mouth]
* Osama’s dead! No, not the one you’re voting for next year — the other one. [Captain's Quarters]
* Iranian bombs now available with custom engraved gift messages. [TPM Muckracker]
* The “Weekly Worst in [Walnuts], because you’re just too darn busy to keep up with every McCain flip-flop, sell out or new principle.” [The Real McCain]
* Don’t forget your nemesis Valentine cards! [Rising Hegemon]