Tag: osama bin laden

Her Name Is Hillary Clinton. Madame President If You’re Nasty.

Hillary Clinton used the third debate to give Trump the ass-kicking we've all been waiting for.

Cops Somehow Catch Chelsea Bombing Suspect, Despite Donald Trump Calling Them PC Pussies

What was Trump just saying this morning about how our law enforcement is too scared to go get the bad guys?

Hillary Clinton Did A Press Conference, Which Is Impossible Because She Doesn’t Do Those

Your next president, Hillary Clinton, apparently has been hearing the weeping and gnashing of teeth coming from the national media about how BOO HOO she never talks to them and BOO HOO the national press corps needs to be...

Trump Spokesmoron Katrina Pierson Really Mad Obama Took Us To Afghanistan, Not Disneyland

Donald Trump campaign spokeswoman Katrina Pierson proved herself to be her boss's intellectual equal this weekend.
Yep, she's worried. Look at the fear in her eyes.

Hillary Clinton Not All That Impressed With Donald Trump’s RNC Speech, How Odd

With bonus Tweets from Bernie Sanders and greatest congressional Tweeterer ever, John Dingell!
Go nuts

Here Are Your Missing 28 Pages Of The 9/11 Report, Truthers, You’re Welcome To Them

Are you a person who can do the critical thinking? Do you prefer evidence to supposition when forming conclusions? Well, then, congratulations to you, smarty-pants, YOU do not have to read the 28 pages held back from the 9/11...
Bernie, you're such a cuck now

Salon Publishes A Million More Words On Why Trump’s Balls Are Much More Delicious Than Hillary’s

Salon murdered our brains with one million words about disembeddedness and Trump steaks. We are dead now. We are a ghost.
On the left, Stuart Varney, who is scared of girls. On the right, the dude who killed bin Laden.

Fox News Can’t Believe Navy SEAL Who Killed Bin Laden Not Terrified Of Lady Soldiers

Good news! Ladies are now officially allowed to go do all the same war combat things the gentlemens get to do! SCANDAL! You see, some people believe men and women should be equal, so they are happy about this. Others...

Guess Which Big Tough Guy Americans Want To Be Their New Daddy

Now that we are having Serious Conversations about terrorism, for the first time ever again, the real question terrified American-USers are asking is, "Who can we trust to kick the most terrorist behinds, for America?" And which dude's balls are...
Actual wall will be built even more bigly

Donald Trump Has Exciting New Real Estate Opportunity For You, Syria!

What a time to be a Syrian, eh? Murderous clowns to the left of you, racist jokers to the right. And then there's Donald J. Trump, with a once-in-a-lifetime business opportunity you will not want to miss: Mr. Trump said he would...
That's the face he makes when he Trumps in his pants.

Let’s Order Chinese Food And Watch Donald Trump’s Brain Essplode

Donald J. Trump does not like losing. He's not losing yet, but his stranglehold on American wingnuts is faltering, and he knows it. And Trump definitely doesn't have the temperament for losing, as we can see in his literally...
It's the bloody tears that really make this one work

BREAKING: George Bush Kept Us Even Safer Than We Knew On 9/11!

Bad news for revisionist historians who have decided to Never Forget 9/11 by simply forgetting 9/11. Or saying Bill Clinton did it. Or insisting the first terrorist attack on a president's watch doesn't count. Or all of 'em, Katie. While George Gee Dubya was...
Warrior president.

Rick Santorum Beated Up Whoopi Goldberg And ISIS, Will Be Toughest President

Rick Santorum, whose polling throughout the primary season hasn't risen higher than Rick Santorum's dick when he discovers sexts from his wife's hot abortion doctor ex-boyfriend, has sent out a fundraising email. No, we do not know how the Washington...
No, Bill, we haven't forgotten.

It’s Official: Bill Clinton Did 9/11

It has long been the position of the Republican Party that 9/11 was the worst thing to ever happen to America, at least until Barack Obama was elected president (twice). But the party has never been comfortable with the FACT that...

Dana Perino So Sad George Bush Blamed For 9/11 Attack That Never Even Happened

Dana Perino, current Fox Blonde and former spokestwit for President Dubya, is none too happy that people are saying means about her boyfriend George. On Fox New's "The Five," she and four other Fox Morons discussed how unfair it is that...

Ben Carson: If Only We’d Drilled Baby Drilled, We Coulda Caught Osama Bin Laden

World-renowned neurosurgeon Ben Carson is still hitting the anaesthetics and rewriting history, and hoo boy, his latest installment is a real gas. On Sunday, Carson tried to explain to George Stephanopoulos comments he made during a Republican debate about how he...