One ambitious Californian by the name of Bill Warren, who has spent decades hunting, but never really finding, treasure at the bottom of the sea, has declared that now Osama Bin Laden’s body, not gold, is his everything. Warren has been looking for the body of Bin Laden for about a year, and told the [...]
Here is a story with so many lovely layers of gooey rich ironies — like a trifle, or a Spotted Dick! First, Mitt Romney is in New York City today, cold hangin’ out at firehouses with Rudy 9u11iani while near-simultaneously criticizing Barack Obama for “politicizing” the death of Osama Bin Laden. Second, did you know [...]
Boy oh boy are we looking forward to the general election presidential debates. Here is a delightful preview from today’s news cycle to give your groan reflex a light workout ahead of the marathon that awaits it this fall: Mitt Romney, per the above tweet, asserted that one need only have balls the size of [...]
Okay, just because we don’t think there’s anything wrong with Barack Obama using Osama’s killing to his political advantage doesn’t mean that it can’t get really fucking annoying after a while — welcome to uncreative Democratic campaigns! — or that pillars of the media establishment wouldn’t be whores by playing along with it completely. And [...]
Have you heard?! Some pretty important folks in Washington, DC, will take a rare evening off from schmoozing each other and holding up the bar with the Ol’ Wet One, John Boehner, and instead will spend their time looking over each other’s shoulders to try and spot “Hollywood” people like Lindsay Lohan and the scary [...]
How does Bill Clinton always finagle his way into everything? Here’s an ad for the Barack Obama Presidential Campaign in which we find… Bill Clinton babbling for 90 seconds. Sure, why not. He’s like “Yep’m indeedy, Obama sure killed that Osama feller alright. Would Mitt Romney have done that? Ehh maybe.” Silly Bill Clinton. Don’t [...]
A CBS radio reporter sent White House press secretary Jay Carney, along with President Obama and Vice President Biden, to detention today. It’s called accountability, folks. Their crime: Mentioning the death of Osama bin Laden in speeches so often that it’s beginning to look like they’re using this for what experts call “political advantage.” If [...]
Poor Osama Bin Laden. All he wanted was endless jihad and to assassinate his fellow terrorist Muslim Mr. B. Hussein Obama, and what did he get? Not another day older, for one. (You know the rest.) Anyhoo, looks like we know who won that dick-measuring contest. What do you think his “plot” consisted of? An [...]
With liberal amounts of Paris Hilton SexTape Night Vision, slo-mo closeups of the same three War Room pictures we have seen four million times, and a voiceover that specifically lauds President Obama’s bravery in flying to Pakistan and karate-chopping Osama Bin Laden in the face, the trailer for a new documentary on Obama’s first term [...]
Oh oh what to “be” for Halloween this year, tomorrow, when the big party happens somewhere? This is an annual problem for America’s infantile, sexually repressed adults — when you aren’t “being anything” during the rest of the year but a consumer schlub scared to death of getting fired from a job you deeply hate [...]
According to the people speaking Elvish in this European television broadcast, shocking audio from a Prince concert in 1998 proves the Minneapolis badass knew years in advance that Osama bin Laden would “bomb” (hip hop for “use passenger jets as missiles”) the United States in 2001. Why won’t the Tea Party distance itself from Prince?
Gah, is it time to drink yet? Yes, it is! ALSO: If a fucktard security guard gives you any guff at all, about anything, tell him to suck your koch and walk away. Why the fuck people think they need to pay any attention to rent-a-cops is an enduring mystery in Chickenshit America. [America's War [...]
Before Barry forced him to walk the plank with an iPod full of Bruce Springsteen super glued to his ears, Osama bin Laden was pretty excited to delay an Amtrak train or something, on 9/11/11. But Osama bin Laden is dead now, or so we have been led to believe, so why is he still [...]
It was a foregone conclusion that a) Hollywood was going to make one of these pro-endless war propaganda films about the bin Laden raid; b) the movie will have some nice things to say about Barack Obama; c) some Republican somewhere would complain about this. Enter GOP Rep. Peter King, who is freaked out because [...]
What are America’s allies up to, these days? Oh, just jailing the CIA people who targeted Osama bin Laden in his fancy Pakistan suburban castle. China reads the White House gmail, British prime minister David Cameron mocks our wonderful health care system that’s available only to people with lots of money, and now Pakistan is [...]
