Here’s a super hot sex story from an affadavit that this one birther, Lucas Smith, filed in a Birther lawsuit, in which he claims that Orly Taitz asked him to perjure himself. Lucas also tells us about Orly’s affair with some other birther, though, which we thought we’d pass along, to ruin your day. [TPM]

Celebrated chief birther and dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz held a protest outside the Fox News building in New York City today, for publicity. Supposedly Bill O’Reilly called the birthers crazy, and this was very offensive to Orly Taitz. Approximately four people showed up for the protest! Here’s Orly talking to a nice fellow from Africa. CAPTION CONTEST. [Gawker]

Queen Birther mop-head and famed lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz has some big news on her website: OMG OMG SARAH PALIN ACCEPTED!! So awesome! [Orly Taitz Esq.]

Last time Orly Taitz existed publicly, Judge Clay Land fined her $20,000 for abusing her license to practice law by suing the dickens out of everything, multiple times, because she had Wikipedia’d the word “fascism” that morning. She’s yet to pay the $20,000, but she has attempted to make reparations in the form of procuring like, way more than $20,000 worth of justice. Specifically, she’s offered to commence a lawsuit that will force Barack Obama to admit that he’s actually the President of Kenya. Why will no one let Orly Taitz do this?? MORE »

When we last checked in with Orly Taitz, the Birther movement’s most lifelike paralegal-opthamologist, she was still wandering around Earth, suing the shit out of anything that she stumbled across as she struggled to crawl back to Hell, or possibly some sort of Space Hell. Comical judge Clay Land told her to seriously just stop, because he’s going to fine her $20,000. And this is just what he did! So now, $20,000 later, Orly’s like, “Oh forgive me my ignorance Clay Land, I am not even from this planet and did not realize it’s cool to legislate fascism from the bench.” MORE »

JUDGE CLAY LAND WILL TAKE THAT $20,000, THANKS: Georgia’s “best judge ever,” the dry wit Clay Land, was *not kidding around at all* last month when he put insane Birther lawyer-dentist Orly Taitz on notice for frivolous litigation: “Finally fed up with Orly Taitz’s repeated frivolous and conspiracy-ridden filings in a Birther lawsuit, the judge in the case has fined the crusading attorney $20,000.” That’s more money than there is in the entire economy! [TPM Muckraker via Rumproast]

The latest escapade from “queen birther,” the esteemed dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz, is moving forward quite rapidly and is hilarious and hopefully there will be no more updates during the writing of this post because HOLD UP ONE SECOND, PLEASE, OKAY? MORE »

Terrifying dentist-lawyer Orly Taitz recently filed another suit on behalf of some wingnut soldier who didn’t want to go fight in the various wars — although had no problem remaining in the military, in America! — because Barack Obama is from Kenya and cannot ergo make her do that, so there. Well, here is a judge in Georgia making fun of Taitz, and this soldier, for 14 pages. It is brilliant. [Court Doc]

• Roy Blunt (R-MO) knows stuff about Canada. He knows that in Canada, they speak French and Spanglish, and that “bacon” is really just lame slices of ham. Roy knows that if you need a hip replacement, the Canadian government sends to you live in poverty, with the Eskimos, who have no need for hips. [AMERICAblog]
• If Obama abandons the public option, hundreds of House members will put catheters in their weenies — à la Mike Gravel — and read Infinite Jest again and again and again, until they get their way (Hitler socialism). [TPM]
• Orly Taitz is the poster child for cannabis psychosis. [Salon]
• RedState Bible Study! God spoketh unto Abraham, “Abraham. Hey. Kill the public option.” So Abraham dragged the public option up a mountain, and stabbed it in the face. “Jesus Christ,” howled the Lord. “That was just a test. You weren’t supposed to do that, really.” And then Abraham shrugged and gave an exhilarating speech at Right Online, in the sinful city of Pittsburgh. The End. [RedState]
• Is the Washington Post snorting Prozac? Or maybe taking handfuls of Flintstone Zoloft vitamins every day? If so, please stop being greedy, and share with TNR. [The Plank]

• If we don’t have the F-22, how are we going to fight China, on the Moon? [RedState]
• From now on, please refer to Matt Yglesias as the Breeding Male. Thank you. [Matt Yglesias]
• First there was Tom Paine, with his annoying pamphlets. And then there was That Guy, who brutalized baby dolls and then hung them from metal chains, on a stick. Patriots. [YouTube/TPM]
• Orly Taitz’s Plan B: Hawaii secedes from the Union, and then Barack Obama is deported for being Hawaiian, aka a dirty foreigner. [Hit & Run]
• If you love the Free Republic as much as the Gays do, click here! [AMERICAblog]

Heroic provider of truths Orly Taitz went on television’s MSNBC channel this afternoon to discuss her latest proof that Obama is black. Heavens to Betsy! This is too classic. It must be performance art — Arianna Huffington applying a heavy spray-tan and a Marilyn Monroe wig, channeling her days as a Republican congressman’s wife. “LEE-sten to me! LEE-sten LEE-sten, Tahm-ron!” Ha ha! NOW THE IMPORTANT PART: Time for a photo contest! MORE »