Tag Archives: originalism

  justice is blind and also white and male

Justice Scalia Full Of Interesting Opinions About Your Sodomy

Justice Antonin Scalia wants everyone to just keep their panties on, everyone, because “We can disagree with one another on the law without taking it personally.” Totally! So when he says that laws forbidding abortion, the death penalty and buttseks are clearly constitutional, don’t take it personally, gays and criminals and pregnant ladies. After all, figuring what is unconstitutional is a “no-brainer,” so don’t blame him, blame the Founders, who didn’t see fit to specifically enumerate rights for anyone other than educated, white, male landowners living in the early modern period. Read more on Justice Scalia Full Of Interesting Opinions About Your Sodomy…
  feudal visions of america

U.S. Constitution No Longer Original Enough for New Hampshire GOP

Last seen being led by Orly Taitz in a violent insurrection to try to get Barack Obama’s name removed from the ballot, what are the Republican lawmakers of the state of New Hampshire, or as we will now call it, “the Arizona of the East Coast,” up to these days? Oh, you know, just drafting a fun bill requiring every subsequent bill that addresses “individual rights or liberties” to quote a relevant passage from the Magna Carta as its legal basis. Who’s the most Originalist of all NOW, biyotchez?? Read more on U.S. Constitution No Longer Original Enough for New Hampshire GOP…
  how easy we forget

Teabaggers Forced To Pretend They Like the Whole Constitution Today

For Teabaggers, it seems, the older the law, the better. Everything we need is in the Constitution, because it was written at the beginning. Even though back then, people had no idea what America was going to look like or, really, what it should be. And even though the beloved founders failed miserably at their first attempt at a constitution, the Articles of Confederation. Why aren’t the Teabaggers reading that document instead? Don’t they know the Constitution was actually an illegal intrusion by a bunch of elites that violated the beautiful Articles, the ORIGINAL Constitution of our land? Also, Teabaggers, you will remember, actually don’t like a lot of the Constitution they are supposed to adore so much. Which Teabagger is going to be forced to read the Fourteenth Amendment today? What about the Seventeenth? Whoever does should be shot immediately, because those parts are BAD. Read more on Teabaggers Forced To Pretend They Like the Whole Constitution Today…
  no-homo bros before homos and hoes

Antonin Scalia: Constitution Only Protects Men (Straight Men)

According to Justice Antonin Scalia, who will only rule on court cases involving robots if the Constitution lists the EXACT model number and specifications of said robot in the text, the Constitution is for men who happen to be heterosexual and NOBODY ELSE, so other humans should just “get over it.” “Certainly the Constitution does not require discrimination on the basis of sex. The only issue is whether it prohibits it. It doesn’t,” he spat. Oh, good! So the Constitution doesn’t force us to discriminate against women; it’s just a sort of extra-credit assignment. But what about the Fourteenth Amendment? It only protects against discrimination of non-white men, according to Scalia. If you want rights for women or non-heterosexuals, you’re going to have to have another civil war. Read more on Antonin Scalia: Constitution Only Protects Men (Straight Men)…