Wonkette

5:58 PM: We’re sitting in front of our TV and ready for this show to get on the road. Tired of Fox News’s relentless coverage of Neil Entwistle — we love tabloid trash as much as the next guy, but Entwistle’s not even interesting trash.

5:59 PM: This interview is probably going to be pretty anticlimactic. Most of the juiciest parts have already been released.

6:00 PM: Unless we learn about a magic bullet, or Lynne Cheney on a grassy knoll, this is going to be a non-event. But hey, this is our job…

6:04 PM: How long is this going to run? We have to meet people for drinks at 7.

6:05 PM: Why Brit Hume? Okay, we can see why. But if Cheney were to appear before, and gain absolution from, the Oprah, this controversy would evaporate instantaneously.

More after the jump.

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The U.S. Capitol Police has a very important mission: “preventing, detecting, and investigating criminal acts,” in and around the U.S. Capitol Building — except when those acts involve congressmen and lobbyists. The Capitol Police is the inspiration for our latest Wonkette feature, “Capitol Fashion Police,” in which we will go out — okay, not really, you’ll just email us photos — and heap scorn upon violators of the laws of fashion.

It’s true that when it comes to style, no one would confuse Washington with Milan, Paris, or New York. We live in the nation’s political capital, not its fashion capital. New York boasts the finest fashion writers the glossy mag world has to offer, and we have… Robin Givhan. Our Gotham-based, style-conscious sister offers up the undeniably fabulous Looking at the Look Book, and we give you the admittedly lame “Capitol Fashion Police.”

Be that as it may, clearly some fashion standards, however low, must be enforced in this city. And who better to set them than a bunch of pajama-clad bloggers?

Today’s victim, er, subject, is Dana Milbank of the Washington Post, who showed up on MSNBC to discuss the Dick Cheney hunting incident looking like this:

Michelle Malkin and Tom Elia argue that Milbank’s stunt raises questions about the objectivity of his journalism. Journalistic ethics? Pish posh! We’re more concerned about his fashion transgressions.

After the jump, we execute a “fashion police arrest” upon Dana Milbank, with the able assistance of Ana Marie Cox, Wonkette Emerita.

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Scott McClellan: “Please, Mr. Vice-President — don’t shoot!” MORE »

By ANA MARIE COX

This Week’s Sunday spew lacks a taste of Greece: The Brylcreemed smoothness of Washington’s Hellenic homeboy, George Stephanopoulus, was pre-empted locally for emergency snow coverage. Because people in Washington are pussies.

We are thus unable to verify Condoleezza Rice’s landing of a Half-Ginsburg, but she was scheduled to go on both “This Week” and “Face the Nation.” She told “This Week” that the Danish cartoon protests “could spin out of control,” which we would never have guessed. Also, apparently Joe Biden was on, which is like missing Haley’s comet. If Haley’s comet came every weekend. We regret the loss.

Full rundown and highlights after the jump.

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No, that’s not Wonkette standing behind Joe Pantoliano. [WP/Lucian Perkins]

Truth be told, our night wasn’t that wild — more like reading Emily Dickinson than hanging out with Paris Hilton. But at least we got out of the apartment!

Last night, Wonkette (or one-half of Wonkette — the half of us with a tux) attended the Congressional Correspondents dinner, sponsored by the Washington Press Foundation. The swanky, black-tie event, held at the Ritz-Carlton on M Street, was attended by numerous “famous-for-D.C.” types, and even a few “famous-for-famous” folks — like Fran Drescher!

Slate described the event as “a B-list affair compared with the Gridiron and White House Correspondents Association dinners”; but we still had ourselves a jolly good time. Although Marcia Davis of the Post urged them not to give up their day jobs, the dinner speakers — Sen. Arlen Specter (R-Penn.) and House Minority Whip Steny Hoyer (D-Md.) — were actually pretty funny. But our assessment may have been colored by the “soft bigotry of low expectations” — as well as too much red wine…

Of course, copious consumption of booze helped us through the evening. And did we mention that The Nanny was in the house?

Our detailed coverage appears after the jump.

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Citizens of Wonketteville, fear not. As we promised, your beloved Wonkette Emerita, Ana Marie Cox, will be making regular appearances in these pages. Last week, she liveblogged the SOTU. This week, she drops the science of “Chatology: Digesting the Sunday Spew,” a weekly round-up of the Sunday shows that will typically appear each Monday. (This week’s installment was held up for various technical reasons that we won’t bore you with — oh, and the Super Bowl had something to do with it too.)

And now, without further ado, Ana Marie Cox.

AMC: We worried that this was too late in the day for a recap of the Sunday shows, but, hell, you’re still watching that GoDaddy.com ad, anyway, aren’t you? [Ed. note: This was drafted on Super Bowl Sunday, in case you haven't figured that out.]

This week’s line-up: This Week, Fox News Sunday, The Chris Matthews Show, Meet the Press and Face the Nation.

Guest Ginsburg Rating: Deputy director of national intelligence Michael Hayden gets a 2 out of 4, showing up on both “This Week” and “Fox News Sunday.” Rep. John Boehner ties, guesting on “FNS” and “Meet the Press.”

What Everyone’s Talking About:
1. NSA wiretap program. All the shows hit it except for “Chris Matthews,” but he tapes on Friday afternoon and you know, this hasn’t really been in the news and no one knew the hearings were coming and plus he’s got to have time for his self-indulgent commentary at the end, so he’’s excused.
2. John Boehner’s election as House Republican leader. Again, 4 of 5 shows and again Matthews marching to a different beat.
3. SOTU detritus was hit by everyone but NSA and Boehner got more focus, so we’re dropping its ranking to three.
4. The “cartoon controversy,” which always sounds like it should be about Bill O’Reilly but it’s not. Played on everyone but Matthews (perhaps he doesn’t want to compete with “Hardball”) and “Face the Nation.” (This is the story they all should have led with).

One hit wonders: “This Week” on girls’ self esteem (you go!), “FNS” on the surgeon general, “Chris Matthews” on “Brokeback Mountain” (apparently you can tell a lot about a country by the popular movie it produces), and “Face the Nation” on Nixon and outhouses. No shit.

Quotes to live by: Mehlman says Hillary Clinton “seems to have a lot of anger” (especially around the issue of infidelity); Hayden pleads, “I can’t tell you how much I’d like to go into the operational details of this” (he also can’’t tell us how much he’d like to kill us if he did tell us); Boehner brags, “I have 11 brothers and sisters and my father owned a bar” (and don’t forget those 11 kids can still kick your weedy anchorman ass); Andrew Sullivan pines for “big daddy government” (preferably in leather).

There were no appearances by Joe Biden. Could someone call his house?

Comprehensive, even exhaustive, summary of yesterday’s non-sports-related showboating after the jump.

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8:54 PM Welcome. Wonkette (Original Wonkette) household is tuned to the ‘SPAN right now, where the pandering and gladhanding can be watched without interruption. Everything’s overlit and we’re hoping someone brought a flask.

8:57 PM Arresting Cindy Sheehan. So best. Not clear what they arrested her for, but I trust they’ve been listening to her phone calls and therefore know better than us.

8:59 PM OMG: Wolf on CNN just reference how “good” Dick Cheney looks. Brokeback correspondent? Now a cut to Laura’s box (as it were). Where’s REX?

9:00 PM Mrs. Alito could start crying at any moment. Is that on the drinking game? Who will start crying first, Mrs. Alito or Anderson Cooper?

9:02 PM The Veterans Affairs guy is the one assigned to stay away tonight. Seeing as how he’s the one of the ones demonstrably not doing his job, great planning.

Tipsy typing continues after the jump.

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