Tag Archives: orgies

  excess ain't rebellion

Terrible Gucci Fanboy, Sports Mythmaker Buzz Bissinger Proves Why Marginal Tax Rates Should Be 100 Percent

Remember last year when angry old sportswriter Harry “Buzz” Bissinger endorsed Mitt Romney because Mittens was totally lying about everything? It was probably non-sports fans’ first introduction to the douchepile that is Buzz Bissinger, so here is a quick primer. Back when the internet consisted of three Star Trek fans on a dial-up message board, Bissinger wrote a very good book about Texas high school football, which became a decent movie about Texas high school football, which inspired an incredible tv show about how Texas high school football teams only have to play well in the second half to win because of inspirational words. Bissinger has literally coasted on that book since the Soviet Union was still a thing. More recently, Bissinger is basically known as the guy who yelled at Deadspin’s Will Leitch because Bissinger couldn’t understand the difference between blog posts and blog comments. He also wrote an insufferable book about St. Louis Cardinals manager Tony LaRussa to refute the idea that Nate Silver-style gay math helps explain baseball. And, of course, there was that whole endorsing Mittens because he knew Mittens was a liar. Tuesday we learned that Buzz Bissinger is a worse human being than anyone previously imagined. Read more on Terrible Gucci Fanboy, Sports Mythmaker Buzz Bissinger Proves Why Marginal Tax Rates Should Be 100 Percent…
  jesus loves you (to murder everyone)

Wives! Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can Kill ‘Em, According to Charismatic ‘Ex’-Gay Christian-Orgy Cult Leader

Tyler Deaton is a handsome young man. He met his wife, Bethany, in prayer group at college. He was so charismatic that by his senior year, he’d convinced a bunch of hot dudes to leave the school-sanctioned Christian fellowship at Southwestern in Texas, and join him in Kansas City instead, so they could be close to the International House of Prayer, which had a kickin’ youth fellowship, mega-awesome Christian jamz, and the kind of “gays-are-demons” stances that appeal to young “ex”-gays. Once in Kansas City, they started meeting for Wednesday night prayer meetings and (ALLEGED) hot gay “spiritual” sex parties and (ALLEGED) Bethany-drugging, -raping, and -beating. “He believed God could fix things,” a student said. That included, Deaton told people, fixing himself. One of his group’s stark positions on Scripture was that homosexuality was wrong. Deaton’s stance against it weighed heavily because members said he had “struggled with being gay.” “He struggled with it, but he overcame it,” a member of his group at Southwestern said. “It was a victory.” Her husband having overcome his homosexuality (except for the part where being ex-gay means you can’t bone dudes), in October, Bethany unaccountably killed herself. Or did she? (Hint: She probably did not?) Read more on Wives! Can’t Live With ‘Em, Can Kill ‘Em, According to Charismatic ‘Ex’-Gay Christian-Orgy Cult Leader…
  and what is with those forever stamps anyway

Fat Cat Postal Service Spent Bazillions On Food Orgies And Retirement Watches

On a pleasant sunny day, have you ever looked up from your desk and glanced out the window at your friendly neighborhood mail carrier trotting around in little blue shorts issuing cheerful hellos and thought, “That is the best job ever invented by Jesus”? Many postal service employees would agree! Read more on Fat Cat Postal Service Spent Bazillions On Food Orgies And Retirement Watches…
  cartoon violence

The Thrill Is Gone

By the Comics CurmudgeonDo you remember ’round about a year ago when it was all “hope and change” this and “yes we can” that, and everything was going to be fixed, forever? Ha ha! Obviously all of our problems are intractable and terrible and nobody can fix them, no matter how nice his teeth are. And so, we must muddle on with our sad, grey lives, turning briefly to media sensations for the brief peaks of joy we used to experience during holiday celebrations or sex. Tune in for more grim tidings, after the jump! Read more on The Thrill Is Gone…
  'palin/bachman 2012'

Bachmann: The Government Has Blown Its Load All Over Us

…Just too much comedy in this video of a Minnesota protest to summarize. So, one quote, from that goddamn Bachmann: “We have seen an orgy… The government spent its wad.” [YouTube, Dusty Trice] Read more on Bachmann: The Government Has Blown Its Load All Over Us…
  sexytime

Everyone In DC To Die Of Pig Flu, Too

Here’s Joe Biden this morning telling us all that we’re going to die if we travel in confined spaces (2:35 in). Hooray! And better yet, the swine flu has finally “come home” to our nation’s capital, Washington, after some slob at the World Bank (*shakes fist at World Bank*) went to Mexico, fucked a pig, and came back to our fairest city with this Pig AIDS. So hey people in DC, liquidate yr bank accounts and buy booze and we’ll hold a big orgy on the Mall tonight before we all die tomorrow. On the upside, this will fix the economy! The death of all humans, that is. [AP] Read more on Everyone In DC To Die Of Pig Flu, Too…
  so ronery

Nobody Went To Obama’s Responsibility Orgy

So sad! President Obama invited over a bunch of congressmen and senators to talk about being fiscally responsible, and some of them showed up, but a lot of them didn’t. Even some breakout session panelists and moderators failed to appear because who knows, maybe they had something better to do than fix the economy??? Read more on Nobody Went To Obama’s Responsibility Orgy…
 

Rumors On The Internets: The Enemy of My Enemy Is a Rat Bastard

* Conservative anger orgy generates new things to hate at a grueling pace. [The Gaggle] * Grover Norquist is still belly-dancing and wants his fellow tax-crusaders to do the same. [Think Progress] * It’s acceptable to tolerate Rick Santorum for however long he’s talking smack about McCain. [The Swamp] * Sharon Stone is desperate enough to play Valerie Plame in what will surely be the most boring movie of whatever year it gets released. [Variety] * Where they know Biden best, they like him least. [Political Wire] * Barry Hussein: advancing left-of-Stalin policies since 2004. [MoJo] * The many sins of Keith Olbermann will now go unheralded. [Olbermann Watch] * Just not perky enough Katie, just not perky enough. [On Tap] Read more on Rumors On The Internets: The Enemy of My Enemy Is a Rat Bastard…
 

Do Not Fall For This ‘LNS’ Honey Trap!

How fake is this? Late Night Shots Christmas orgy – mw4mw – 23Reply to: pers-247869532@craigslist.orgDate: 2006-12-12, 12:32PM EST Come one, Come all Just plain Cum!We of legendary Wonkette fame are having our year end blow/out/up/off, whatever your pleasure.Discretion is thrown out the window. Bring your own Condoms (Magnum’s preferred) email this for time & place. Enjoy! Do not e-mail for time and place, because this is such an obvious setup that not even Mark Foley would respond. Forcefully-aborted fetuses may be thrown out the windows when LNS turbos make a romance inside daddy’s little trust-fund drunk gal, but discretion is crucial if any of these kids expect to run a K Street firm someday.Casual Encounters [Craigslist] Read more on Do Not Fall For This ‘LNS’ Honey Trap!…
 

What, No Orgies? No Occult Rituals?

We were all excited when this ABC News headline came across our Truth Wire: “Anything Goes At Interior Department.” Anything? Like boy-prostitute rings in the White House and that sort of deal? Read more on What, No Orgies? No Occult Rituals?…