Wonkette

Well, it would be nice if these guys ever went to jail for anything, but it seems unlikely that they will go to jail for this. A grand jury in South Texas handed down indictments against various current and former public officials connected with wrongdoing in private prisons — including, most notably, Dick Cheney and Alberto Gonzales. The prison company, The GEO Group, was charged with three counts of murder and manslaughter. This is an ugly, complicated story, so let’s cut to the chase: how many South Texas prisoners has Dick Cheney had shipped up to his basement dungeon in the Naval Observatory for experiments? MORE »

• Rupert Murdoch carries heads of state in his pocket, “like so many nickels and dimes.” [HuffPo]

• In order to make “Senator Katherine Harris” a reality, she’ll have to succeed where the Mafia and John Kennedy failed. [The DC Universe]
• Ohio’s centuries of bad luck continues, as billboard with gross-out aborted fetus image gets flown over Cleveland. [Evangelical Right]
• Prince “I’m Never Gonna Be King” Harry enjoys fine automobiles, Red Bull, and horseshit. [Borrowing Trouble]
• Massachusetts Gov. Mitt Romney kicks off nascent presidential campaign by heading to Iowa and blurting racist comment from his honky mouth. [AP]
• Laura Sessions Stepp immortalized by Great Moments In Journalism, still desperately needs to get laid. [Gawker]

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There’s nothing we love more than reprinting your unsubstantiated rumor and innuendo — seriously, we love that stuff, and we’re always looking for more of it. But sometimes, even we have to draw the line. A pretty good illustration of that line arrived in our inboxes earlier today. Here, for your edification: The Campbell Brown Rumor Too Hot Even For Wonkette:

Is this why we spotted several hard-core mafia-types passing through the Denver, Colorado area just a week or two ago? Seems that Campbell Brown (not her original birth name) [we're pretty sure it is --ed] and her sister Kyle Dwyer (not her original birth name) [actual name: Kyle Dyer --ed] [oh yeah, not Campbell Brown's sister, we're pretty sure --ed] at the NBC news affiliate Kusa in Denver, Colorado share a brother who is mafia hit man [ha ha ha ha ha --ed]. Ms. Dwyer [sic] bragged that her family is from the DC area and thererfore she, Ms. Dwyer [sic] is expert about government and law and knows everything that goes on there as did her co-worker Ms. Christiansen [check out the hair on Ms. Christiansen! --ed] who also bragged the same. Campbell Brown, while at that religious university in Denver, Colorado said that she supported trafficking in human beings, illegal weapons, and illegal drugs [uh.... --ed]. It appears that her new husband is in a marriage of convenience for himself in that he probably hopes to get lots of finder’s fees from attorneys and such by contacts with Campbell Brown’s family and friends and referral for litigation of her family and friends. As he is not related to Campbell Brown, he is not her family [first correct assertion so far? --ed]. The two entered a stranger marriage–marriages between strangers rather than the marriages common among at least 40% of the population on earth who wed from within their kinship group, and especially wed cousins or uncles or aunts) [uh..... --ed]

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