May 19, 2013
JoAnne Kohler, the proprietor of Salem, Oregon’s Tea Party Bookshop, is changing her business’s name to Tigress Books next month, because she has no time for Real Americans or their “political connotations.” Lately, Real Americans have been coming into her ”wildly independent” literature depot asking for Sarah Palin novels and getting all mad because her [...]
Illustrating today’s Post-America America info-graphic are the two most famous living humans from Mississippi and Oregon: Vile slob and unrepentant racist Haley Barbour, the actual governor of Mississippi, and musician Stephen Malkmus of Portland.
EWWWWWWWWWW Oregon state legislators are filthy! All they talk about is blood and poop and semen. They wrote a bill about this stuff because they are gross. (Also, to protect Women.) Basically it says that before you give the nice lady a Cleveland Steamer, make sure she consents.
Two recent incidents show that our nation’s proud elected officials all turn into COCKS OF RAGE at the sight of airport personnel. First David Vitter tries to hijack a plane to New Orleans, and then this Representative Pete DeFazio character, a common Democrat from Oregon, gets all shirty when a TSA screener in Portland wants [...]
OK here it goes, so stop sending the e-mails, please, about openly gay mayor Sam Adams of Portland, Oregon going “Full Portland” on a former male intern from his city commissioner days, who may have been 17 for like a day when they met. The HOOOOOT intern’s name is Beau Breedlove, which is hilarious, because [...]
Here are the predictions of Igor Panarin, some sort of soothsaying Slavic gypsy, in which China, Mexico, and Canada all go halfsies on a ruined United States. [Gawker] How does Bush sleep at night? With Barney, the demonic hallucination-inducing terrier thing. [GQ] The Republican National Committee is going rogue! The RNC is holding leadership talent [...]
Democrat Jeff Merkley has beaten likable moderate Republican Senator Gordon Smith in Oregon, so Chairman Black Mao is a step closer to the filibuster-proof 60-seat majority that will soon force the conversion of all Americans to gay-married Muslims who work in the poop mines far beneath the Earth, forever. So scary!
Here’s a new ad from Republican Oregon Sen. Gordon Smith, who faces a tough re-election bid this year against Jeff Merkley, the bore who barely defeated that awesome little pirate hobbit in May’s Democratic primary. Smith’s ad here is the latest of his to compare himself to — gasp — Barack Obama and John Kerry! [...]
This is inventive: “An Oregon state senator has been hospitalized with an accidental gunshot wound in the knee. The Medford Mail Tribune reports that Republican Jason Atkinson, 37, was hit while repairing a friend’s bicycle Tuesday. Central Point police say a .38-caliber derringer was in a bag attached to the bike, and it fired when [...]
Hello peoples are you ready for an address from Barack Obama, the man who lost Kentucky by a million percent tonight? Are you ready to watch him declare victorious victory in Oregon safe from his mountain perch in Iowa? Well, you have to wait another 90 minutes because God is Cruel. Stay with us and [...]
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