Tag: oregon

Servers Tell Boss To Take Her Crap Anti-Minimum-Wage Op-Ed And Shove It

Oh hey, it's a Maine story (about the minimum wage, no less) that doesn't directly involve Gov. Paul LePage! Five servers at a restaurant in Portland called Five Fifty-Five have quit in one hell of a mic drop, giving their notice...

Nice Bundy Militia Jailbirds Smeared Poop On All The Things

So you're finally getting arrested after six weeks of occupying a bird sanctuary, for freedom. You've got the number of a crazy assemblywoman -- much better than a lawyer. You drank some water and had a snack. Everything's in...

All The Woodland Creatures Flock To Bernie Sanders

What's this Birdie Sanders thing, I asked myself on rising. I will Google Birdie Sanders and see what it is, and then maybe I will "write" a dumb post on it because Dok is out today and I am...

Oregon Militia Twit Sues America For Being Literally Satan

Haha those Bundy Oregon militia snotweasel dicknose brats finally have something in common with REAL terrorists. Whereas Osama bin Laden's al Qaeda organization liked to think of America as "the Great Satan," militia supporter and "sovereign citizen" Shawna Cox,...
Not actually Bundy's son

Lawless Nevada Thug Cliven Bundy Gets To Stay In Jail Forever, Hooray!

Oh, those jackbooted federal government thugs have done it this time! They arrested Cliven Bundy last week in Oregon on charges related to the insane violent 2014 standoff he started in Nevada over whether the Constitution protects the God-given...

Stories Of Restaurant Employees Who Had Their Just Revenge

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we return to stories of righteous restaurant revenge. As always, these are real emails from real readers. If...
Also, you wouldn't believe the amount of batshit around here.

Oregon Standoff Ends In Arrests, Disappointment At Failure To Spark Revolution

Good news from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge Thursday, as the last four militia loons occupying the refuge surrendered to FBI agents without violence. Three of the four surrendered as planned when Nevada State Assemblywoman Michele Fiore and preacher...
Good show guys.

Cliven Bundy Arrested, Remaining Oregon Militia Jackwagons To Surrender

Big news from the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge in Oregon Wednesday night. While most of the armed militia squatters are already rotting in jail as political prisoners, the FBI decided it was sick of waiting for the remaining four to...
Freedumb fighter

Nevada Dingbat Michele Fiore Taking Cliven Bundy To Oregon Between Her Giant Boobs

Oh god, we were under the impression the Oregon standoff story was over, and everybody was dead or in jail now, and we could go back to ignoring how there are loud morons out west who think the federal...

FBI Video Conclusively Shows Oregon Militia Guy Shot Dead By Cops Was Not Unarmed Black Teen

While one group of dangerous thugs bickered Thursday night over who would kill terrorists the hardest, the FBI held a press conference in Burns, Oregon, aimed at disproving rumors that LaVoy Finicum, the Arizona welfare rancher who came to...
Robert "LaVoy" Finicum, who died in the shootout.

Oregon Militia Will Beg For Snacks In Jail After Fed Shootout Leaves 1 Dead, 8 In Custody

Guys, we are not sure, but we think big gub'mint tyranny may have winned. How else to explain what transpired Tuesday night as jackbooted feds descended upon the Oregon militia boys (and little girls!) illegally occupying the Malheur National...
Nature is so beautiful. Can't wait to cut it all down!

Oregon Militia Couple Celebrates ‘Take Your Daughters To Armed Insurrection’ Day

In a touching story that proves patriotism is a family value, Oregon Public Broadcasting confirmed Friday there are at least two young children staying at the Bundy Militia Insurge-O-Ree in eastern Oregon, where militants have taken over the Malheur...
This aggression against our nuts will not stand, man

Charming Oregon Militia Dudes Totally Harmless, Except For The Murderer Maybe

What up, revolutionary white dudes camped out in Oregon? You still doing that or did you run out of vegan jerky and that one granola bar? Oh, you are still doing that. Maybe you're enjoying all those free sex toys. That's...
Freedom's just another word salad for nothing left to say

Deleted Comments: Don’t You Backwardass Imbreds Understand Liberty At All?

It took a while, but we finally started hearing from the Ammon Bundy Freedom-N-Liberty-N-Armed Insurrection Fan Club, and they are every bit as nice as you'd expect! Consider this thoughtful critique of our coverage, from "TonyinMO," who took issue...
But officer, this is a sovereign truck!

Oregon Militia Idiot Steals Gubmint Truck For Vital Snack Run, Goes Directly To Jail

As the Great Big Bundy Militia Freedom Standoff slouches into its second week, there are signs that the Many Moron Marchers are growing either bolder, stupider, or both. Exhibit A: Oregon State Police arrested one of the brave freeloader...
GO AWAY, DILDO PRESENTS!

Oregon Militia Dongweasels Too Good For Free Dildos, We Guess

Awwwww, those jacknugget Bundy militia boys are upset! They've been begging for snacky cakes and Miracle Whip and Tampax and instead everybody's sending them complimentary sex toys, to put inside their fannies and their mouths or maybe to just...