Tag: oregon

I'm out of order? This whole COUNTRY is out of order!

Bundy Dildo Militia Not Guilty In Oregon Wildlife Refuge Takeover, Fate Of Precious Guns Still Unclear

Great news for armed 'militias' -- and just in time for the rigged election!
Every word of this is a word.

Bundy Bunch Trial Starts With Life-Or-Death Demand To Allow Idiots To Wear Cowboy Boots

Strictly a bring-your-own-dildo affair. The Bundy brothers have each other.

HAHA PORTLAND, WE TRICKED YOU! WE ARE CRASHING WEDNESDAY’S DRINKY THING!

Just kidding, we didn't trick you, you are not DUMM.

Your Senate Sunday: Oregon’s Ron Wyden Probably Not In Much Danger From ‘Blah Blah Blah’ Dude

U.S. Senator Ron Wyden probably won't have to worry about losing his seat to a perennial Oregon candidate who's most famous for storming out of a candidate forum.

Is John Boehner Driving The Wonkebago To The Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing?

No, John Boehner is probably not driving the Wonkebago to the Portland, Oregon, Drinky Thing, but a girl can dream, can't she? Join your comrades at the Wonkette Commenter-Owned Cooperative Drinky Thing And Potluck (No Pot) next week! Because...
Because BIG GOVERNMENT won't let them!

Idaho Faith Healers Fixin’ To Ignore Any Satanic Laws Requiring Them To Keep Their Kids Alive

A member of an Idaho faith-healing cult told state legislators he won't follow a proposed law requiring parents to get medical help for sick children, because medicine is of the Devil.
Leaving the basement can be very stressful

Blogger For Stupidest Man On Internet Arrested Just For Pulling Gun On Black Lives Matter Folks

A rightwing blogger waved a loaded gun at a group of Black Lives Matter protesters last week, and was later found to be carrying enough ammo for a sustained firefight. Astonishingly, police did not shoot him dead.

You Know What The Bundy Gang Really Needed? A Stolen .50 Cal Machine Gun.

Just imagine what fun the Bundy Militia could have had during their occupation of a federal wildlife refuge if they'd had a .50 caliber machine gun!
Yet another victim of the vast government conspiracy

Bundy Militia Mom Oppressed By Big Government Just Because She Beat Her Kids A Little

Why are government tyrants always stealing patriots' children over a few beatings?

Derp Roundup: Andrea Tantaros Does Bondage!

Time for another quick check-in with stories what were clogging up our browser tabs all week but we couldn't quite bring ourselves to do a full post on, but which were too wonderfully stoopit to ignore altogether. Also a...

This Pastor Wants To Show You His Penis At Target To Prove Other People Are Predators

Oh look, it's another TOTALLY NORMAL REACTION to how Target has issued a policy that says people can use whichever restroom matches their gender identity. We are beginning to wonder what wingnuts actually do in the bathroom, because for a...
I'm out of order? This whole COUNTRY is out of order!

Ammon Bundy’s Legal Defense Exactly As Sane As Every Other Bundy Legal Theory

Oh goody, it looks like the defense team for malodorous wildlife refuge terrorist Ammon Bundy is taking its cues from the squirrelly legal theories of the defendant, which should make the coming trial no end of laughs, especially when...
GO AWAY, DILDO PRESENTS!

Big Surprise: Bundy Militia Dildo Bros Loved To Intimidate Local Sheriffs

One of the biggest disappointments for the Bundy Militia Freedom Insurgents was, of course, their complete failure to rally the people of Oregon, or even of Harney County, to flock to the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge to join their...

Servers Tell Boss To Take Her Crap Anti-Minimum-Wage Op-Ed And Shove It

Oh hey, it's a Maine story (about the minimum wage, no less) that doesn't directly involve Gov. Paul LePage! Five servers at a restaurant in Portland called Five Fifty-Five have quit in one hell of a mic drop, giving their notice...

Nice Bundy Militia Jailbirds Smeared Poop On All The Things

So you're finally getting arrested after six weeks of occupying a bird sanctuary, for freedom. You've got the number of a crazy assemblywoman -- much better than a lawyer. You drank some water and had a snack. Everything's in...