oregon
Oregon Man Under Arrest For Taking Typos Rather Too Seriously, Also Terrorism
Oregon van owner Leonard Burdek is a passionate man! For example, he loves his mother tongue so much that he will defend its honor no matter the cost, which in this case was the price of a pressure cooker, maybe some wires, and whatever they do to you in Salem, Oregon, when you’re charged with [...]
Josephine County, Oregon: Your New Libertarian Paradise!
Move over Galt’s Gulch! Get out of here, Somalia! Josephine County, Oregon, is here to show you how real rugged individualists do: by refusing to vote to raise property taxes, even though the county ain’t got no more police outside of regular business hours, and the sheriff says “every day” someone is the victim of [...]
Hero Oregon Math Teacher Suspended Just For Telling Students Planned Parenthood Would Turn Them Into Streetwalking Prosties!
Well here is another fine howdeyedo! Bill Diss, a computer and math teacher in Portland, Oregon, has been suspended just because (according to the district) he is unprofessional and intimidating and harassing and told his students they would end up on “82nd Avenue” (WHERE THE WHORES ARE) if they joined the “Let’s Not Get Pregnant [...]
Hero Oregon Baker Refuses To Bake Sodomite Wedding Cake, So There
In yet another intersection of baked goods and culture-war politics, a Portland-area baker who refused to make a wedding cake for a gay couple is now the focus of protests by supporters of gay marriage, increased patronage from opponents of gay marriage, and an investigation by the state’s attorney general’s office, since Oregon prohibits discrimination [...]
Nike Will Trade You 500 Jobs for Billions of Dollars in Tax Revenue
Nice local economy you have there, Oregon. Wouldn’t want anything to happen to it would you? Good, then you’ll surely trade us billions of dollars in tax revenue, for, say, 500 jobs. Isn’t that a sweet deal? Sure it is, it’s a great deal: Under pressure from Nike, Governor John Kitzhaber took the extraordinary step [...]
Stupid Oregon County Fires Election Worker Just Because She Added Republican Votes To Ballots
Oregon’s mail-in balloting procedure is pretty secure, all in all, but it’s not entirely perfect, especially if an elections worker is of a mind to cause some mischief. Take, for instance, Deanna Swenson (please!), an election worker in Clackamas County, Oregon, who was fired and is being investigated for criminal vote fraud after she allegedly [...]
Oregon Man Protesting To Save God’s Precious Rape-Babies Stabs Other Man Seven Times
Well this does not seem so loving and joyful and Christ-like, but hey, what do we know. An Oregon man who is not Missouri Senate candidate Todd Akin, or Indiana Senate candidate Richard Mourdock, and who’s been protesting for months outside a Planned Parenthood that doesn’t even offer abortion services got into a small bit [...]
Your Lunch-Time Nice Time Video: Is Anyone In The Portland Police Bureau *Not* Gay Or Lesbian?
Here is your biweekly “niceness” post, wherein we push away, for a moment, sad humans screaming about buggery and Ann Romney being a twatbag. Meet the Portland Police Bureau gals and dudes, every last one of whom seems to be a total gay, telling kids it gets better. Portland may have just landed itself in [...]
Alleged Sex Creep in Peter Pan Hat Is Prominent Oregon GOP Politican, Of Course
The spring season of political sex scandals, like the presidential campaigns, like the bland and uninspired bickering of Congress, like the campaign ads’ lack of demon sheep, masturbating witches and Basil Marceaux, are so boring that we are sharing this tale of a dim Oregon GOP lawmaker who had consensual, heterosexual sex with his staffer: [...]
Barely Legal Furry Sexytime Topples Weirdo Rep. David Wu After All
Well, that was fast! Furry sex aficionado Rep. David Wu announced he will resign after the debt crisis negotiations are over (hahaha, so actually he means “never”) because of this sexytime incident with the 18-year-old daughter of his high school classmate that we heard about only a few days ago. Hooray, Congress is down another [...]
Furry Sex Creep Oregon Democrat Is Your New Anthony Weiner
Who wants to hear about boring old “debt ceiling” issues such as old people being pushed into landfills because of no more money? What America needs is a Way To Laugh Again, and it got that bouquet of clown farts Sunday night as Madame Ex-Speaker Nancy Pelosi called for an official inquisition against Oregon’s best-loved [...]
Wingnut Camper Art Project Shares How-To Secrets For Sexing Obama
Here is what a Teabagger stream-of-consciousness novel looks like self-published on the back of a camper, like all major wingnut tomes. Tea Party, meet your T. S. Eliot.
Mailman Poops On America
Haha, the guy thought the mailman “had a bunch of packages for us.” Well, the mailman did have a bunch of packages — packages of poop! (Unwrapped.)
Allegedly Insane Rep. David Wu Also Appears To Be a Furry
Congressman David Wu of Oregon did some interesting things right before his re-election in last year’s midterm elections. He allegedly wandered around Oregon like an insane person, for one. Also, it appears he sent his staff e-mails like an insane person, along with photos of him dressing up like some kind of tiger furry. Wow! [...]
U.S. Government Now Creating Terrorists So It Can Arrest Them
Mohamed Osman Mohamud, a 19-year-old U.S. citizen, was arrested this weekend for plotting to detonate a bomb at a downtown Portland, Oregon tree-lighting celebration. So that’s good, right? Americans appreciate not getting blown up. But the thing is, Mohamud was never a member of a terrorist group. The FBI provided him a fake bomb and [...]
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