Tag Archives: orange county

  Bad Cop No Brownie!

Pot-Munching Cops Too High To Destroy All The Hidden Cameras, Oops

The internet is a wonderful thing
Today our parable comes from the Book Of Chootzpah: In the Year Of the Bad Cop, the City of Santa Ana did decide that there were too many medical marijuana dispensaries operating without a license, and lo, they did send Centurions to bust some Stoners. And it came to pass that the Centurions did break down the doors of a dispensary that was already open for business, and with guns drawn did raid the place, then proceed to tear down all the security cameras. But lo, they missed one, and what a wonder did it behold: The Centurions did partake of the edibles, and found them Good. And thus were the Centurions Busted. Read more on Pot-Munching Cops Too High To Destroy All The Hidden Cameras, Oops…
  this picture is everything

Rick Scott Is Just Like Mother Teresa: Your Florida Roundup

Adventures in Sucking Up: The Florida Edition
We were worried for a moment there that after last week’s absolute and undeniable perfection, Yr Florida Roundup would have nowhere to go but down. And this turned out to be true, sorry. But we do have this wonderful picture of our dear pre-zombie governor for your edification and amusement, so yay? Read more on Rick Scott Is Just Like Mother Teresa: Your Florida Roundup…
  Further Adventures In Driving While Black

Cops Slam Black Driver’s Head Against Car, Demand He Stop Hitting Himself

I'm not touching you...OK, I'm throwing you to the pavement, but not touching you...
In yet another isolated incident, a black motorist was pulled from his car, thrown to the ground, and then had his head smashed against the hood of a police car. And for some reason, although the dash cam video doesn’t show him behaving violently, Stuart Fitzgerald, 53, has been charged with assaulting officers in the May 26, 2014, incident. We really need to just have a story template to use for all these isolated incidents, where we can fill in the names, dates, and perfectly reasonable bullshit explanations from police. It would save a lot of time. Read more on Cops Slam Black Driver’s Head Against Car, Demand He Stop Hitting Himself…
  Only Safe Town In California: Needles

Orange County High Schoolers All Have Measles Now, Thanks Anti-Vaxxers!

Surgical mask wouldn't really help. Do not get your medical advice from photoshop.
The measles outbreak that started at Disneyland in late December has been spreading; most recently, it’s hit Huntington Beach High School in Orange County, where 24 unvaccinated students have been told to stay home from school after an infected classmate exposed the school to the disease. Thanks a lot, paranoids who don’t want their precious angels exposed to the imaginary threats of vaccines! Now they’re exposed tot he very real threats of infectious diseases that should have been eradicated decades ago. Read more on Orange County High Schoolers All Have Measles Now, Thanks Anti-Vaxxers!…
  not all cops

Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big

That's some fine police work, Lou.
In 2009, celebrated Santa Ana Police Detective Andy Alvarez was tasked to investigate a bloody attempted murder case, in which a man in a Jeep pulled up to three teenagers and opened fire on them. Alvarez had two leads. The first was that the shooter reportedly shouted “Delhi,” the name of a Santa Ana street gang, before opening fire. The second was that two of the victims positively identified another kid in the Jeep as Francisco Vega, a former classmate with whom they’d previously had trouble. The OC Weekly reports: Read more on Orange County Cops Putting All The Kids In Jail, No Big…
  soon to be a major teen novel series

Mean O.C. Principal Kills Prom Date ‘Draft,’ Because She Is Old And Ugly, Maybe A Lesbo?

The students at Corona del Mar High School in Newport Beach, California, are about to have their fun tradition ruined by political correctness, looks like, because the school administration is going to shut down an annual “prom draft” that somehow became a thing. It worked sort of like a sportsball draft, “ranking female students and selling first-round picks to those eager for a top selection,” but now the mean old principal, Kathy Scott, is trying to shut it down, because she doesn’t have a sense of humor and is probably just jealous. Read more on Mean O.C. Principal Kills Prom Date ‘Draft,’ Because She Is Old And Ugly, Maybe A Lesbo?…
  nothing to see here

Cops In Beating Death Of Kelly Thomas Found Not Guilty By Reason Of Orange County

The two former Fullerton, California, police officers accused of beating a homeless man to death were found not guilty on all charges Monday. The beating of Kelly Thomas, who suffered from schizophrenia, was captured on videotape, but an Orange County jury was not convinced by the prosecution’s case that the cops had acted excessively. Because they were cops, of course, and because Thomas was just a homeless guy who, instead of complying with multiple contradictory orders, kept flopping around and trying to breathe while six cops piled on him, too bad, so sad, no big whoop, law and order hooray! The verdict is “controversial,” in that even the Daily Caller described it as a “shock” following the detailed testimony showing that Thomas died of injuries suffered at the hands of cops. When commenters on Free Republic are calling the verdict a travesty, then you know there’s something seriously screwy. Read more on Cops In Beating Death Of Kelly Thomas Found Not Guilty By Reason Of Orange County…
  too flaggy for words

California Lady Has Cheerful Christmas Answer To Neighbors Who Bitched About Her Rainbow Flag

Here’s some industrial-strength Nice Time, courtesy of our old friend Evan Hurst (Wonkette misses you, Evan!) at TruthWinsOut: That photo up there is the home of Dr. Mary Pham of Irvine, California, who started flying a rainbow flag over her home last spring when all her neighbors were putting up flags for sports teams and seasonal-themed flags. It turned out to be a bit more controversial than she thought: In July, she was told that people had been writing angry emails to her HOA about the flag. When she saw them, she was taken aback by the hateful language she saw. One of them referred to the flag as a “Fag Flag.” “Is the GAY PRIDE [in large font and rainbow colors] display protected by free speech rights?” its author asked. “The Orange Tree Patio Homes neighbors are shaking their heads in disgust.” Yes, we suppose that it is not all that surprising that people in a Homeowners Association might be disgusted by free speech. That’s pretty much what they’re for. Read more on California Lady Has Cheerful Christmas Answer To Neighbors Who Bitched About Her Rainbow Flag…
  this is why we can't have nice things

Congresslout Dana Rohrabacher Missed Getting On ‘Hoarders’ By *This* Much

You’d like to think that if you were renting your million-dollar California house to a freakin’ congressman they’d take decent care of the place, wouldn’t you? You know, unless maybe it was Sen. John Blutarsky or the Hon. Oscar Madison. If there’s any justice in how memes travel, let’s hope that California Rep. Dana Rohrabacher (R-Taliban) will someday becomes equally synonymous with “slovenly sloppy piggy-man.” Just look at how he trashed the four-bedroom, four-bathroom, house in Costa Mesa that he moved into on April 1, 2010. Between then and his departure in August 2012, he and his family managed to turn the place into a pigsty (possibly literally — that may explain some of the stains). Massive black stains and muck covered the carpet throughout the home. Sticky grime encased damaged, rusted appliances. Denied water, once-thriving outside plants and grass dried up and died. Blinds were cracked. Black dirt ruined the appearance of once-sparkling tile floors. Walls inexplicably contained odd holes, nail polish, wax and some smelly substance that may have been feces. There is almost certainly a reasonable explanation for this. Probably it involves strong drink and an even stronger sense of “Fuck you, I’m in Congress, I can do what I want.” At this point, of course, we are merely speculating. Read more on Congresslout Dana Rohrabacher Missed Getting On ‘Hoarders’ By *This* Much…
  reasonable explanations

Doctor Testifies Homeless Man Kelly Thomas Killed By Meth, Not All That Beating By Police

In Fullerton, California, a forensic pathologist testified that a homeless man didn’t die from being beaten and tasered in 2011. Nah, that was just what was going on at the time when his heart happened to fail because he was a meth addict: Dr. Steven Karch, the final witness for two former city police officers charged with killing Kelly Thomas, said the homeless man suffered from methamphetamine cardiomyopathy, a weakening of the heart caused by drug abuse. “He could have died sitting in a closet by himself,” Karch said. Except he wasn’t sitting in a closet (why a closet, for chrissakes?), he was being beaten by cops, which was just one of those whatchacall coincidences. Talk about unfortunate timing for the poor innocent Fullerton cops. Read more on Doctor Testifies Homeless Man Kelly Thomas Killed By Meth, Not All That Beating By Police…
  with the swearing and the hurting and the tinsel

Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Trashy Racist Bitchsluts Need To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ Or Else

Looks like it’s time for another trip to the ol’ comment queue, that purgatory where comments submitted by new users must cool off until we deem them worthy of inclusion in the Wonkette Community (bribery can help). Our first missive comes from “Sam_Gavurin,” who was not at all pleased with our story about fake “War On Christmas” stories. Sam_Gavurin sent two important messages, the first being an all-caps “C H MERRY I S T M A S ! !” which we think may be some kind of concrete poem or something. The second made his point a bit more explicitly: If you miserable “Politically Correct ” killjoys want to abstain from CHRISTMAS, that’s fine with me! But DO NOT ruin CHRISTMAS for the rest of us. If you killjoys hate CHRISTMAS so much, move to a communist country, and leave us alone! MERRY CHRISTMAS! Since neither of the items in the actual story actually involved anyone attempting to ruin, abolish, or otherwise harm Christmas — except maybe the fascists of Orange County who don’t allow Christmas lights strung across a public road, because zoning/safety — we will have to assume that Sam_Gavurin just wanted to drop by and remind us of our holiday travel options. And a cheery Festivus to you, too, Sam_Gavurin! Read more on Deleted Comments Of The Day: You Trashy Racist Bitchsluts Need To Say ‘Merry Christmas’ Or Else…
  o little town of rancho santa margarita

Today’s War On Christmas Casualties: Lights In Orange County, T-Shirts What Are All Sold

Rally the troops and calibrate your reindeer-seeking missiles — War On Christmas 2013 is well under way. First up, we have this panicked report from Todd “The Feds will outlaw the Bible as Hate Speech” Starnes, who wants us to know that a neighborhood in Orange County, California, has been ordered to take down every single one of their Christmas lights* and they have to bow down to a graven image of Obama, too. Starnes quotes one homeowner’s plaintive summary of the human rights atrocity unfolding on American soil: “It’s horrible what they are doing to us and these poor kids,” one homeowner told television station KTLA. The children! Won’t someone please think of the children? Prominent in the KTLA report but barely mentioned in Starnes’ blog: The code violation is that the neighbors have strung lights from one house to another, and across the street, which, yes, would be a code violation. Because if one of the houses in the neighborhood catches fire or a toddler chokes on figgy pudding, it would be nice if emergency vehicles didn’t have to contend with low-hanging strings of electric lights, right? Stupid nanny state, thinking of the children that way. Thanks a lot, Obamacare. Read more on Today’s War On Christmas Casualties: Lights In Orange County, T-Shirts What Are All Sold…
  They Did the Derpy Mash

Derp Roundup: Special All Hallows’ Eve Edition

Hey-ho, Wonkerinos and Wonkerinas! Here we are at the day before Halloween, and as usual, some people are just cold insisting on celebrating the coming holiday by hanging bats in their belfries. Let’s have a look: Read more on Derp Roundup: Special All Hallows’ Eve Edition…
  dance rummy dance!

On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Dana Rohrabacher In This Video?

This video of Marsha Blackburn, the gentlelady from Stepford, and Dana Rohrabacher, “the” “surfing” “congressman” (he lies as much about surfing as he does the rest of the time his lips are moving), is a few days old. It is so old that the government hadn’t even shut down yet, nor herded all the World War II veterans into their FEMA camps! But we are showing it to you anyway, because it seems like Dana Rohrabacher might be drunk? Watch him laugh with delight about the government shutdown! Everything is funny when you’re schnockered! Read more on On Scale Of One To Dana Rohrabacher, How Drunk Is Dana Rohrabacher In This Video?…
  losers

Story About Losing Orange County Republican Leaves Out That He Is Drunk And Creepy

Here, from our pal and colleague R. Scott Moxley, is a long and detailed article about a sad libertarian Orange County, California, Assemblyman who lost his seat — giving California Dems a supermajority — to some chick. Who’s a teacher. It features old and much-missed friends, like Marilyn Davenport, the nice old lady who was very very sorry she sent that President Obama is a chimpanzee email because it gave some the wrong impression that she might be racist. That nice old lady, Marilyn Davenport? Ex-incumbent Assemblyman Chris Norby sent out a mailer featuring her and himself. Why? Because he is gross and weird. Read more on Story About Losing Orange County Republican Leaves Out That He Is Drunk And Creepy…
  rip or whatever

Dad Of Decade Don Haidl Dies

Sometimes people die and it is very, very sad. Sometimes people die, and they are Don Haidl. Haidl was assistant sheriff in Orange County, California, when his son and several of said son’s buddies videotaped themselves gang-raping passed-out 16-year-old acquaintance Jane Doe on a pool table, with a snapple bottle, a pool cue, and a lit cigarette. Assistant Sheriff Haidl then used some portion of his hundreds of millions of dollars (from government contracts, of course) to finance a defense that would accuse Jane Doe of raping the boys. Read more on Dad Of Decade Don Haidl Dies…