Multiple people have sent us photos of this local hobo today, so sure, we’ll bite. Operative “John B.” writes: “I talked to this young conservative at the corner of 14th and k. I can’t help him but maybe he could help Miss California. He is a media specialist according to his resume.” (In POLITICS.) And he’s pretty good at it, right? This little stunt has landed him an entire post on an Internet blog! So call him up and hire him okay?

$20 and a Wonkette Tee Shirt to whoever steals Michele Bachmann’s dog. Just like that.

A Hill staffer sends us this comical image and writes: “This fridge is located outside of the House Republican Conference in Longworth House Building. They seem to be moving offices, and this is a note they have attached to their fridge.” Be sure to read the very end, in which the Chocolate Milk Nazis note that the House Republican Conference “steals too much.” But perhaps the American People do not give a shit if some Hill staffers are drinking too much stolen chocolate milk?

Wonkette drive-by operative “Gerogia” from Tessennee sends this photo and writes: “AIG was founded in Nashville. I live near the HQ in Nashville. A few days after the bonus debacle they blacked out the AIG logo. On my way to the gym last week I was startled by this new sign. I guess they renamed themselves and the marketing wizards are billing us (TAXPAYERS) for new signage, letterhead, business cards ect … Seriously this is what they are busy doing with our money …” SOMETHING LIKE THAT. They replaced the AIG logo with that of one of its non-corrupt subsidiaries. Meh, same difference to us. So now you’ll want to throw your Molotov cocktails at and poop on all AGLA signs, fyi.

Wonkette operative “Miriam H.” sends us this historic photo of our nation’s greatest president, George W. Bush, at a Texas baseball game today, where he threw out the first pitch. He is looking east at Mecca because it is that time of day. This is the closest a Wonkette operative has ever gotten to George W. Bush — THAT WE KNOW OF. Gross.

OMG prisoners from Gitmo have flown up from Cuba — just for the afternoon, gotta work tomorrow morning — to fête Barack Obama and his barely visible green fountain! These guys will just do wonders for the town of Leavenworth, Kansas. What a completely insane picture from Wonkette ultra-abortionist operative “Jeffrey.”

We have received another sexy stimulus party report, this time from elitist operative “Eric.” He tells us that he drank imported beer, because he doesn’t like Bud Light (take that, Cindy McCain), that his girlfriend is kind of a pain in the ass, and that he has a job for now. In other words, we have no idea whether he went to a stimulus party or not; we get a lot of e-mails from drunk lunatics for no reason after all. MORE »

Wonkette queer memorabilia operative “Laura” has excavated the D.C. equivalent of a full velociraptor skeleton: “I was just cleaning my room and found Larry Craig’s signed Senate business card in my underwear drawer (along with other mementos from a high school trip to DC). Holy crap! I don’t know what to do with it! What do you think…eBay it or frame and hang it on my bathroom wall?” Laura for god’s sake, IT BELONGS IN A MUSEUM. And take good care of it, it is probably deteriorating after years of being surrounded by Craig Kryponite.

Wonkette hobo operative “Virginia” went all the way to a state called “Virginia” (??) to cash in on the McCain-Palin used junk firesale advertised here yesterday, and sends this note: “I got all the way here!! but the elevator won’t take me to floor ‘m’. I am proud of trek, but saddened by the end result. Any advice from that last tipster on how to get in?” …Stairs? Ha ha just kidding, that would be so exhausting. Poor Virginia!! Any other similar reports?

Wonkette clutch operative “Mark” writes, “I saw Ashley Todd in a Barnes & Noble in Pittsburgh. Her wounds have healed, though she looked a little nervous. She was just drinking a coffee and reading a magazine. I would call her a freeloader for not working at 11 AM on a Tuesday and reading magazines she doesn’t intend to buy, but that’s what I was doing too.” No, “Mark,” we all know that you were there to carve her up with magazine papercuts while being a black person.

A ballsy Wonkette hero operative sends us a fantastic photo with this description: “I got convicted Senator Ted Stevens to sign this ‘I am VECO’ hat with a silver sharpie on election night 2008.” No, it’s not just funny because she fooled Stevens into believing that she was a supporter. Veco, for you hippie anti-corporates, was the corrupt company that bribed Ted Stevens with hundreds of thousands of dollars in gifts and money, which he forgot to report! This led to his criminal conviction on seven counts, which was followed immediately by his reelection to the United States Senate.

Wonkette death crime operative “Courtney” sends us this disturbing photo of what Obama and the blacks have done to an innocent pumpkin who wandered into their ghetto. We have a feeling this is happening to thousands of pumpkins across the nation. Oh but of course the liberal MSM gotcha media would never criticize “The One” for this, heaven forbid.

Back in May, the Denver Host Committee announced that the Molson Coors Company would be the “Official E85 Ethanol Producer” for the Democratic convention. Joe Coors must be going ballistic, in Hell. The liberal ethanol in Colorado is made from “waste beer” — you can make “clean-burning ethanol fuel for the fleet of General Motors flex-fuel vehicles to be used for Convention transportation needs” with this “waste beer.” Imagine what the “waste beer” — the stuff that doesn’t meet standards — must taste like at the COORS LIGHT factory. The point is, this rancid beer gas, according to an early Denver operative, is making the cars kill everybody. MORE »