Tag Archives: oops

  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: For 2016, GOP Debates To Try Ackin’ Less Cray-Cray (Video)

Somebody's enjoying this a little too much
Rachel Maddow was in full political-nerd bliss Friday with this report on the announced schedule for the 2016 GOP primary debates. Rachel is pretty sure the best TV series of 2012 was the “nationally-televised tragicomedy of the Republican presidential primary debates,” and she’s looking forward to the 2016 edition, even if the party has taken a number of steps to tamp down on the crazy, like dictating that any candidate participating in a non-official debate will be barred from appearing in the remaining official ones. And here’s a surprise: Three of the nine planned debates will be on Fox. But let’s not get discouraged: Even with these attempts to rein in the process, there’s almost certainly going to be plenty of crazy to go around. Read more on Morning Maddow: For 2016, GOP Debates To Try Ackin’ Less Cray-Cray (Video)…
  and furthermore get off my lawn

Senator Dan Coats Embraces Stereotypes Of Olds By Showing Up At Wrong Hearing And Asking Questions Anyway

Ever had an old person walk up to you on the street and ask you a completely bizarre question, like, “Why do all the apples send moonbeams into your brain?” No? Well, doesn’t happen to us either. But at a Senate hearing yesterday, David Cohen, undersecretary of treasury for terrorism and financial intelligence, was testifying and had that kind of experience when Indiana’s Sen. Dan Coats decided to ask a question, per WaPo: After he’d finished a lengthy opening to his question, a staffer slipped Coats a piece of paper. Coats read it to himself, looked up, and said, “I just got a note saying I’m at the wrong hearing.” AFTER the question? Coats will never win the Most Observant Senator Award. And we bet that some staffer somewhere is getting an expletive-laden lesson in how not to be a fuck-up. Read more on Senator Dan Coats Embraces Stereotypes Of Olds By Showing Up At Wrong Hearing And Asking Questions Anyway…
  are you smarter than a fifth-grader?

Fox Continues Journalistic Excellence With Misspelled Chyron In Spelling Bee Story

We’d just like to thank Fox News for being so very Fox News, as demonstrated by this chyron from a Monday story about that epic spelling bee on the edge of forever that recently ended in Missouri. We’re just surprised that the error wasn’t later attributed to Fox employee Sarah Palin (D-Alaska). Read more on Fox Continues Journalistic Excellence With Misspelled Chyron In Spelling Bee Story…
  next ask him to say 'seal' in french

New Pope Said A Swear!

Oh, man, guys, did you hear what New Pope said? He is gonna get a ruler to the knuckles for sure: On Sunday, the pontiff accidentally said “fuck” during his weekly blessing from the Vatican. To be fair, the prayer was in Italian, not Francis’s native Spanish, and the Italian word for “Fuck” (“cazzo”) is close to the Italian word “caso” (“example” or “case”), which is what the Pope was trying to say. He quickly corrected his mistake. Technically, the article goes on to explain, “cazzo” more literally translates to “cock” or “dick,” though Italians tend to use it where English-speakers would say “fuck.” So there is room to disagree about the nature of Francis’s accidental swear here. Read more on New Pope Said A Swear!…
  worse than nixon's typos

Watch Hillary Laugh And Laugh As Benghazi Burns, Because Sure Why Not?

So here’s a bit of video editing that’s not going to go on anyone’s resume: In a story on Hillary Clinton being interviewed at the National Auto Dealers Association, because of course that’s a natural venue for former secretaries of state, some genius at CNN edited two parts of the video together with a 14-nanosecond transition between them. The problem was that the first bit was Hillary soberly saying her greatest regret from her tenure was the Benghazi attack, and the second was from some point later in the interview, showing her chuckling over the obviousness of a question about her plans for 2016. Crammed together, the segments created a brief moment where Clinton can be seen laughing over a chyron reading “Hillary: Biggest Regret Is Benghazi.” Look, as America-hating liberal libunatic dhimmi commie loving skum, we’ve all have our giggles over Benghazi, but c’mon, CNN, there’s no need to invent an image of Hillary doing that. Read more on Watch Hillary Laugh And Laugh As Benghazi Burns, Because Sure Why Not?…
  thanks obama!

Top Secret FBI Interrogation Manual Somehow Ended Up In Library Of Congress — And It’s A Cookbook!

Our oopsie of the day comes to us courtesy of Nick Baumann at Mother Jones, who brings us this story of an FBI agent who thought it would be a good idea to submit a copy of a secret interrogation manual to the U.S. Copyright Office — which means it ended up in the Library of Congress, unredacted and available to anyone who wants to see it. And that’s just the biggest of the craptacular snafus in the way the document was handled. These stories of multiple bureaucratic screw-ups gladden our hearts and make us unaccountably happy — it’s somehow reassuringly humanizing to know that the top spies lock their keys in the car now and then, too. Just as long as nobody does that while handling nerve gas, at least. Read more on Top Secret FBI Interrogation Manual Somehow Ended Up In Library Of Congress — And It’s A Cookbook!…
  Everywhere Like Such As: Idiot Governor Edition

Rick Perry OUTRAGED!!!! About Benghazi, Can’t Find It On A Map

Hey, kids, remember that poll from way back in May that showed just how are-you-freakin’-kidding-us stupid Republicans are? Oh, sorry, there are so many polls like that. We will have to be more specific. We mean this poll about Dumbshit-Americans who are super duper OUTRAGED!!!! about Benghazi, but, um, well: One interesting thing about the voters who think Benghazi is the biggest political scandal in American history is that 39% of them don’t actually know where it is. 10% think it’s in Egypt, 9% in Iran, 6% in Cuba, 5% in Syria, 4% in Iraq, and 1% each in North Korea and Liberia with 4% not willing to venture a guess. Well, guess who is one such Dumbshit-American? We will give you three hints. One, he hails from Texas, which probably doesn’t narrow it down much for you, since Texas has given us more than its fair share of dumbshits. Cut that out, Texas! B, his mere presence once caused Michele Bachmann to crap her pants and immediately drop her run for the White House. And third … um … I can’t. The third one, I can’t. Sorry. Oops. Give up? It’s this guy: Read more on Rick Perry OUTRAGED!!!! About Benghazi, Can’t Find It On A Map…
  kids today

Uh-oh: Your Obama Vote Won’t Count If You Post It On Instagram Or Whatever

Hello, millennial children of the digital age! You probably think you’re pretty “cool” if you take a picture of yourself voting for Obama and then post it on your favorite social media networking time-wasting porn sites, so your friends can see that you’re a liberal chump like them. In this sense voting is like every other activity in your shallow, overshared life. But unlike the artfully filtered pictures of your homemade meals that you put on Instagram and all those nude selfies you stuck on MySpace in 2006 and then forgot about, those photos of your ballots are actually illegal in most states, and thus count in reverse, for Mitt Romney! Read more on Uh-oh: Your Obama Vote Won’t Count If You Post It On Instagram Or Whatever…
  join red sox nation or die

Romney Spokeslady: Move To Romney’s Socialist Massachusetts Paradise If You Want To Live

So you probably haven’t seen it if you aren’t in one of America’s precious, coddled Swing States, but a pro-Obama PAC has been running a mean ad featuring a guy who was laid off because Bain Capital made the business he worked for more efficient, and he says that his wife died because they didn’t have health insurance because he was laid off because Bain Capital thought that would be a good idea. You might think this is mean and unfair and don’t hate the specific corporate player hate the employer-based health-care system game etc., but surely when an ad is going out that basically has a blue-collar dude saying “MITT ROMNEY KILLED MY WIFE” the Romney campaign has to respond somehow, right? Well they did, actually, and they did actually respond with legitimately good advice! This advice was: people who need good health care should move to Massachusetts, because they have universal coverage there, thanks to Governor Romney. Wait, what? Read more on Romney Spokeslady: Move To Romney’s Socialist Massachusetts Paradise If You Want To Live…
  aww shoot

Levi Johnston Broke After Squandering Playgirl Pay On Boats And Guns And Stuff

It’s been a fun few years, but now Levi Johnston, once and future sperm gifter extraordinaire, has joined every other 22-year-old in America and become broke and a tenant in his mother’s home. According to a report in US Weekly, Levi has already (“already”) squandered his $1 million winnings from being Mr. Playgirl Winter 2010 on guns, ATVs and other beacons of manhood. This has caused him to cease paying child support to Bristol Palin for Tripp, allegedly, but has not prevented him from naming his impending second child after a gun. But IS IT ANY WONDER a boy-man with not really that much money, in modern B-list terms, has lost it all years before he even becomes ineligible for his parents’ health insurance plan? One person, at least, is excited about this: HIS MOMMY. Read more on Levi Johnston Broke After Squandering Playgirl Pay On Boats And Guns And Stuff…
  pry it from our cold dead hands

Thanks to Hilarious Florida Gun Law, Tampa Cannot Restrict Firearms at GOP Convention

Ooops. Yet another casualty of ALEC’s constant hard-on for making sure you can sodomize yourself with your semi-automatic weapon is Tampa, Florida’s effort to ban guns from the site of the GOP convention in August. NO NOT ALLOWED. DON’T TREAD ON ME, & CETERA. Read more on Thanks to Hilarious Florida Gun Law, Tampa Cannot Restrict Firearms at GOP Convention…
  gaffing around

Santorum Calls Romney ‘Just a Paler Shade of What We Have’

Rick Santorum, down in South Carolina with the rest of the troupe, decided Thursday afternoon to lump Mitt Romney’s proposed policies in with President Obama, further confusing the capitalism debate to the point that it now sounds like an LSAT question with no real answer. In the process, he, albeit not necessarily consciously, decided to call Romney “just a paler shade” of the President. Whoooops. Read more on Santorum Calls Romney ‘Just a Paler Shade of What We Have’…
  how to succeed in bigotry

Santorum Totally Reached Across the Aisle to Hitler-Like Democrats

Resurrecting the speeches of fiendish politicians is the best thing about the Internet, and today we have a new floating spirit in the form of a speech Rick Santorum gave on the Senate floor in 2005 during the Democrats’ attempt to filibuster President Bush’s judicial appointments. The surly fellow compared his friends across the aisle to Hitler. But not to fear, he’s only one of FOUR current or recently dropped-out Republican presidential candidates to bring up the Nazi empire when speaking about fairly harmless people standing in the way of their glory. Read more on Santorum Totally Reached Across the Aisle to Hitler-Like Democrats…
  heroes of the birther movement

Congresslady Jean Schmidt Secretly Agrees With The Birthers, Except This One Time By Mistake She *Publicly* Agreed With The Birthers

Everyone very warmly congratulate Jean Schmidt (R-OH), who has bravely and accidentally come out as a Birther. Lo! Observe as Jean Schmidt is accosted by a rabid blond female Birther wearing some kind of decorative traditional headdress of war. “Blah blah NOT dog whistle MY muslin president Hussein sdodfgifjsd states’ rights fake something Gerald Ford something something!” shrieks the Birther to Jean Schmidt, to which the latter replies: “I agree with you, but the courts don’t.” Jean Schmidt is finally embracing the real Jean Schmidt, and so should America. [Glenn Thrush] Read more on Congresslady Jean Schmidt Secretly Agrees With The Birthers, Except This One Time By Mistake She *Publicly* Agreed With The Birthers…
 

Judge to Bush: I Read The News

Don’t plan on leaving Washington this week on any skiing trips out West if you’re George Bush’s lawyer because it turns out that Christmas is your new busy season! Fresh from a blow by federal courts just yesterday, today brought another setback for President Waterboard. District Judge Henry Kennedy (of the Rhode Island Kennendys? Anyone know?) apparently ruled way back in 2005 that the Bush admin should not, you know, destroy tapes and stuff that related to prisoner (mis)treatment and guess what? For some odd reason, he thinks they might have! Read more on Judge to Bush: I Read The News…