This didn’t actually happen today in history, but we’ve been thinking about it ever since Barack Obama got his “whoopin’ stick,” yesterday, because we keep imagining how cool it would be if Obama did this to Joe Lieberman. Here’s how the official U.S. Senate website puts it: “On May 22, 1856, the ‘world’s greatest deliberative body’ became a combat zone. In one of the most dramatic and deeply ominous moments in the Senate’s entire history, a member of the House of Representatives entered the Senate chamber and savagely beat a senator into unconsciousness.” MORE »

One thousand years ago today — or Friday, the 12th — a terrible slave-trading murderer/imbecile who did not even know how to spell his own name, which is Latin for “asshole,” landed at the “Sandals” resort in Puerto Rico or some such Caribbean island and thought he was in Bangalore. What an idiot! MORE »