Brave Wonkette operative Matt Singerman is — and we say this with complete accuracy — just cold taking pictures of a handful of ill-informed dingbats wandering around in the freezing rain with their droopy signs about … well, take your pick, really. Remember when libtards were the ones who held the goofball million-cause marches? Well, now it’s the wingnuts’ turn, and they sure bring a new flavor to the proceedings. Mmm, tastes like racism! MORE »

Jesus christ, this whole country is drowning in its own blood. We take a day off — the Sabbath — and there are another half-dozen gruesome murders or murder-suicides. Cops and the families of the killers seem to be particularly common targets. We don’t recall Homicidal Frenzy as being a normal part of, say, the recessions of 1981-82, 1991-92 or 2001. MORE »

Whoa hey how’d the Entire News Media miss this one? Especially considering the main things we all jabber about, these days, are stock prices and whatever Jon Stewart said about Jim Cramer …. Anyway, get out your duct tape because a certified American Nazi was building a “dirty bomb” which he apparently planned to explode at Obama’s Inauguration. All the radioactive and bomb-making shit was in his house — you know, the one with the Nazi Flag, in Maine — and his plans were moving along just fine until his wife shot the motherfucker dead, the end? MORE »

When George W. Bush Junior started that goddamned whining during his Last Press Conference, we wanted to crawl through the television screen and throttle him, right there, while he was still technically president. Tragically, current television technology doesn’t allow this type of full-immersion interactive Wii hate — hurry up, digital teevee! — so we’re still pretty annoyed 12 hours later. Hmm, target for late-night rage, where are you? Ah, Fred Barnes! A comical human dildo, wearing eyeglasses! What kind of ludicrous horseshit could the Weekly Standard executive editor deliver for America, in our Hour of Darkness? George W. Bush was actually a great president, that’s what! MORE »

This is what Chip Saltsman — the guy who successfully won the GOP nomination for Mike Huckabee — sent out as a “Christmas Gift” to fellow Republicans, so they’d choose him as the new head of their party. Please, let’s stop the “political correctness” and please, please, please let this guy be the new leader of the Republican Party. He is a fresh voice from the Old Skool of southern white racist cocksuckers, and the GOP needs him more than ever, now. [Fox News/Times of London]

With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. We have a new president. His name is Barack Obama.

Here is more of Tim Russo’s scary movie about the GOP’s shrinking base: angry unemployed white people who gather in small groups to chant weird things about the opposition candidate, because he’s black. MORE »

This is phenomenal stuff, courtesy of Blogger Interrupted. It’s the 2008 version of the classic Heavy Metal Parking Lot! But at least those headbanger kids were just having fun or whatever — it’s not like any of them were registered to vote. [Blogger Interrupted]

We told you how John McCain offered up his “old lady” to the biker mob at Sturgis, and then we showed you the awkward video, but now we must present this version, which begins with the incredible confession from McCain that he’s only allowed onstage as a warm-up midget for Kid Rock. MORE »

This is one of those troubling images that’s been appearing here and there on the Internets for many years … the same many years, in fact, when John McCain was not running for president, in the early 1990s. Our forensic-photography expert Jim Newell obscured Dennis Hastert’s the anonymous partner’s face in this version, so we can concentrate on the Pressing Issue: Is John McCain now or has he ever been a Furry? MORE »

We are really going to miss these people when they’re gone — are they gone yet? The Ron Paul Sensation was such a revealing look at a part of America we never knew existed, because we have jobs and really only read The Hobbit in grade school, and it left us feeling weird, especially when the creepy fat adult with the neckbeard and the Birkenstocks invited a bunch of us 12-year-old boys over to play Dungeons & Dragons at his apartment behind the mall. We just figured we could skip that particular invitation and then we’d never see those people again. How wonderfully wrong we were ….