December 13, 2013
Ridiculous clown Michele Bachmann officially launched her 2012 presidential campaign today in Waterloo, Iowa — where she paid tribute to another clown from this small Iowa town, psychopathic homosexual serial killer John Wayne Gacy. Why does Bachmann love the freakish monster known in American nightmares as the Killer Clown? Maybe because John Wayne Gacy loved [...]
Join a whole bunch of your Wonkette pals at 5:30 this evening for the 2010 Weeping Eagles! Consider this your Invitation, this blog post on the Internet. Eat delicious things! Drink cheap beverages! Win Wonkette T-shirts! Laugh at the buffoonery of your editor and other cretins including morning editor Josh “The Comics Curmudgeon” Fruhlinger, Wonkabout’s [...]
Two things need to be outlawed, if we are truly to reclaim our Nation’s Freedom: child voice slavery and the computer program “GarageBand.” Also: FEMA death panel for anyone who does a terrible lip sync to their own terrible computer song. All three of these Crimes Against Freedom are on display in the above video, [...]
Heyyyy, this is just like that “I am Windows 7″ ad campaign … but completely horrifying! What the hell? Oh, that’s right, the Teabaggers’ personal lord and savior, St. Palin of Facebook, told them she wouldn’t be leader of this gang of white trash on twitter (after taking their $100,000). Why? Because every Teabagger is [...]
In only his second Senate vote, Republican messiah Scott Brown helped the Democrats destroy a Republican filibuster on the new Jobs Bill, hahahahah, what? And guess who’s cold goin’ nuts on the Twitter?
Brave Wonkette operative Matt Singerman is — and we say this with complete accuracy — just cold taking pictures of a handful of ill-informed dingbats wandering around in the freezing rain with their droopy signs about … well, take your pick, really. Remember when libtards were the ones who held the goofball million-cause marches? Well, [...]
Jesus christ, this whole country is drowning in its own blood. We take a day off — the Sabbath — and there are another half-dozen gruesome murders or murder-suicides. Cops and the families of the killers seem to be particularly common targets. We don’t recall Homicidal Frenzy as being a normal part of, say, the [...]
Whoa hey how’d the Entire News Media miss this one? Especially considering the main things we all jabber about, these days, are stock prices and whatever Jon Stewart said about Jim Cramer …. Anyway, get out your duct tape because a certified American Nazi was building a “dirty bomb” which he apparently planned to explode [...]
When George W. Bush Junior started that goddamned whining during his Last Press Conference, we wanted to crawl through the television screen and throttle him, right there, while he was still technically president. Tragically, current television technology doesn’t allow this type of full-immersion interactive Wii hate — hurry up, digital teevee! — so we’re still [...]
This is what Chip Saltsman — the guy who successfully won the GOP nomination for Mike Huckabee — sent out as a “Christmas Gift” to fellow Republicans, so they’d choose him as the new head of their party. Please, let’s stop the “political correctness” and please, please, please let this guy be the new leader [...]
With the West Coast polls closed and Obama already holding 220, including Virginia … well, you can count, even if you’re very wasted right now. California has 55 electoral votes, Washington state has 11, Hawaii has 4, and Oregon has 7. You can add that to 220 electoral votes CNN says he has right now. [...]
Here is more of Tim Russo’s scary movie about the GOP’s shrinking base: angry unemployed white people who gather in small groups to chant weird things about the opposition candidate, because he’s black.
This is phenomenal stuff, courtesy of Blogger Interrupted. It’s the 2008 version of the classic Heavy Metal Parking Lot! But at least those headbanger kids were just having fun or whatever — it’s not like any of them were registered to vote. [Blogger Interrupted]
We told you how John McCain offered up his “old lady” to the biker mob at Sturgis, and then we showed you the awkward video, but now we must present this version, which begins with the incredible confession from McCain that he’s only allowed onstage as a warm-up midget for Kid Rock.