A horrified America watched John McCain stagger up from his debate chair last night and turn into a monster. He almost caught our Barack Obama! What was happening? Clearly, the special anti-monster juice McCain drinks before public appearances was starting to wear off. They got him in the titanium-lined SWAT van just before he fully transformed. But fully transformed into what? MORE »

Here, on this Wall Street Journal web page featuring this op-ed by Henry Paulson’s wife “John Paulson,” a curious advertisement appeared. It was this one, captured by Wonkette Operative “Evan W.,” so now you know! McCain Wins Debate! He wins by … uh, refusing to even say if he’ll show up! Maverick! And look how he suspended the campaign and all! Jesus christ …. [WSJ]

WHERE WAS MARK PENN THAT NIGHT? Turns out that no-big-deal little plane emergency on Barack Obama’s charter jet was actually kind of a big deal — hope almost crashed and burned in St. Louis that dark night. [ABC News]

You’ve seen the drunken Bush falling down the stadium steps, you’ve seen the sweaty drunken Bush baffled by the volleyball gal’s ass, and you’ve seen him making terrible faces while his daughter cringes. You maybe even saw a similar shot to this one, over at Gawker’s nice collection of Bush In China Foto Funnies, but this is something special, so very special and retarded. TWO-MINUTES LATER UPDATE: It’s a crappy photoshop. But funny! [Democratic Underground]

Need a new Internet Slogan now that all your other old, worn-out slogans were used up by Weezer or immigrants? Here is one for you, only a day old and still pretty much used up like Krusty’s porn: I am aware of all Internet Traditions. What the hell? We will tell you, and you’ll feel dumber for it. MORE »

Discuss.

How much fun was had in Washington on Saturday? This much. Two more horrific examples of why John McCain will be president, after the jump. MORE »

* “I was ready to prove my comic genius, the stars were simply aligned. Two glasses of sangria later, the time was right…” [Average Jane]
* DiCaprio, Crowe set fire to the Eastern Market, Metro watches. [BrightestYoungThings]
* “Oh yes, you’re huge. So fucking round. I’ve seen beach balls with more sex appeal.” [Roissy In DC]
* “This has turned into an exciting game, now. And that’s too bad, because serious playoff-bound teams aren’t going to end up in close games with the Dolphins.” [DCeiver]
* Save the restaurants, save the world. [Metrocurean]

And because nothing about Larry Craig’s bizarre plan to un-resign from the Senate makes any fucking sense, we’re going to elevate commenter Outstando to the front page — because if he’s right, this may be a coded (or uncoded) message to other time travelers who may be able to help Soldier From The Future “Larry Craig” save America from a 40-year Robot Mary Cheney Regime that ends with Idaho under two miles of (poison) water. Think about it. MORE »