While some people “stuck in the past” are protesting the Iraq War’s Fifth Birthday today, Dick Cheney is always thinking about the future — specifically, he’s thinking about how he can personally start a war with Iran. And he’s not just sitting in his Naval Observatory lair dreaming up horrible schemes. Dick Cheney is actually in the Persian Gulf right now, on some Sultan’s super-luxury yacht. You know, for a “fishing trip.” MORE »

Dick Cheney’s trail of death and destruction has now moved from Afghanistan — where up to 23 people including several U.S. troops were killed in this morning’s bomb attack — to Wall Street. CNN reports on the global stock market collapse currently battering U.S. stocks and blames it on Cheney:

“News that Vice President Dick Cheney was the apparent target in a Taliban suicide bombing attack in Afghanistan added to the morning concerns.”

The “vice” president’s weird secret trip around the world to meet with terrorist leaders has now taken him to Oman, where he’ll somehow destroy the world’s oil production and hurtle the entire Earth into darkness. MORE »