Tag Archives: olympics

  you didn't build that

Romney Hates Olympic Athletes in Addition to Poors, Blinds, Gays, and Welfare Moms

You are never going to BELIEVE what Mitt Romney hates! Besides puppies, moms, and chocolate donuts. And blind people. And people who might be gay. And (very) Poors. Oh and taxes. But you’re doing great so keep guessing! Have you guessed yet? Olympic athletes! It’s Olympic athletes. See, after Obama pointed out that businesspeople relied on a combination of individual entrepreneurship, community support, and functional infrastructure, Romney took his remarks entirely out of context (shocking), informing small business owners that the president thinks that “they didn’t build that.” Well, guess everyone will just have to suck it. Read more on Romney Hates Olympic Athletes in Addition to Poors, Blinds, Gays, and Welfare Moms…
  today in derp

Fox & Friends Has All Sorts of Problems With These Olympic Team Berets

The thought-free muppets who host Fox News’ illiterate dementia variety hour Fox and Friends briefly mentioned the actual news nugget about the unveiled U.S. Olympic Team outfits today — they’re made in China, har har — but spent considerably more time examining the team’s hat wear: berets. Like all the fruity poets and mimes in France wear, amirite? Just imagine if these berets were green. How foo-foo mcgay would green berets be? Read more on Fox & Friends Has All Sorts of Problems With These Olympic Team Berets…
  to mitt romney everything looks like a nail

It Is Official, Mitt Romney Is Christopher Walken From ‘The Wedding Crashers’

Good morning, Washington Post! What do you have for us this morning? Oh, three Internet pages on Mitt Romney’s family outings to Lake Winnipesaukee? (As Ann Romney noted, while calling Moochelle NoOBaMa an uppity bitch, they “have [their] own places” for summering.) And your reporter cannot even contain his terrible reporterly rage? Cool, let us read you. WOLFEBORO, N.H. — This weekend, Mitt Romney is starting his annual summer vacation on his lakefront compound here — a week of fun and family, though not entirely carefree. The Romneys, 30 in all these days, spend their time away from the stresses of everyday life — like, say, wrapping up the Republican nomination for president — by following a highly orchestrated, highly competitive regimen of sports and games known as the “Romney Olympics.” The Romney Olympics have long included a mini-triathlon of biking, swimming and running that pits Mitt and his five sons and their wives against one another. But after Mitt once nearly finished last, behind a daughter-in-law who had given birth to her second child a couple of months earlier, the ultra-competitive and self-described unathletic patriarch expanded the games to give himself a better shot. Read more on It Is Official, Mitt Romney Is Christopher Walken From ‘The Wedding Crashers’…
  rumors on the internets

Maybe Dan Brown Had A Point

Today, we find out how many gay people there are while the Vatican works miracles in book selling (not that book!), and a new sport everyone can do but a new reality show almost no can join. Hmmm…. Read more on Maybe Dan Brown Had A Point…
  food/booze news!

The Snow Makes Everything Cheaper

Olympics: The Winter Olympics are in full force, but no one seems to appreciate ever since that nice Georgian Luger died, in a sport. If you feel some patriotic desire (be it for America or Georgia) to watch the games, head to Asia Nine where any of the lounge’s bar snacks are only a buck while the Olympics are on. Or, you may be better off just learning how to curl. [Asia Nine] Read more on The Snow Makes Everything Cheaper…
  bullies

Bill Kristol Discusses The Olympics: ‘There Are So Many Ironies In This’

Fake war person Bill Kristol went on the Fox News over the weekend to talk about how Barack Obama “lost the Olympics,” oh boy. Now in spite of the Weekly Standard‘s furious scrubbing attempts, we already knew, thanks to the magic of the Internets, how Bill Kristol and his chums at the Standard responded to Friday’s announcement: with raging monster boners. So the real treat in this clip is to hear Bill Kristol do his “Obama voice” (around :24). It is that of a Muppet. [YouTube] Read more on Bill Kristol Discusses The Olympics: ‘There Are So Many Ironies In This’…
  historic television moments

CNN Anchor Nearly Has Heart Attack When Chicago Gets Eliminated

Don’t really know what Townhall’s angle is here in promoting this video, but the first minute or so is pretty amazing, watching this CNN anchor play out his own personal mini-Greek Tragedy. Well this should all go well and dandy for ol’ Chicago, he’s thinking. Let me just sit back here and relax for the official confirmation. Nope, nothin’ could go wrong for Chicago right now, nothin’ at al… wait… wait.. oh god… no… CHICAGO’S OUT? CHICAGO’S OUT? CHICAGO’S OUT??? No. No. No no no no no NO! NOOOOO! KILL ME RIGHT NOW! [YouTube] Read more on CNN Anchor Nearly Has Heart Attack When Chicago Gets Eliminated…
  republicans in the news

It Cannot Be Overstated How Excited Republicans Are That Bad Things Have Happened For America Today

Things are getting so out-of-hand that the forecasters at “Team Romney” are having to step in and act like adults: “There are cooler heads: Former Mitt Romney spokesman Kevin Madden passed along some entirely unheeded advice from another Republican strategist, Scott Stanzel: ‘Note to GOP officials/consultants – resist temptation to pile on about Chicago losing just becuz Obama made the pitch.'” Read more on It Cannot Be Overstated How Excited Republicans Are That Bad Things Have Happened For America Today…
  haw haw haw

Conservatives So, So Happy That Obama Could Not Bring Economy-Spurring Olympics To America

The brilliant political humans at National Review‘s The Corner — the #1 Internet blog — are cold slappin’ high-fives and chuggin’ jars of Elmer’s glue because they are just so happy that the American president was unable to bring the biggest sporting event on earth, and a boon to the local economy of Chicago, to America. Thanks for trying, Obama — NOT. Get it?? Ha ha ha! Fuck you Obama you fuck! STIMULUS — FAIL. OLYMPICS — FAIL. HEALTH CARE — GAY. RACISM — FAIL. RUSSIA — FAIL. IRAN — FAIL. ENERGY — WORTHLESS. (Oh btw, Rio won. Congrats Rio!) [The Corner] Read more on Conservatives So, So Happy That Obama Could Not Bring Economy-Spurring Olympics To America…
  no one is listening to obama!

CHICAGO HAS LOST DANCING WITH THE STARS AND THEREFORE ITS CHANCE AT HOSTING THE 2016 OLYMPICS. Gold, silver, and bronze Drudge Sirens!!: The important International Olympic Committee cold eliminated Chicago in the first round of city choosing this morning. In case you’re still invested in this thing, for whatever reason, it’s down to Madrid and Rio de Janeiro. [HuffPost] Read more on …
  daily briefing

Our Barry Did So Well In The 2009 Meta-Olympics!

Obama gets a gold medal in the prestigious Kindly Requesting The Olympics For Chicago While In Denmark event. [New York Times] David Letterman slept with some people on his staff and some other lady turned around and performed extortion on him! [New York Times] Read more on Our Barry Did So Well In The 2009 Meta-Olympics!…
  today in white house press briefings

Michael Steele Hates America Having The Olympics!

Earlier today Republican strange person Michael Steele joined his fellow party dingbats to yell at Obama for traveling to King Hamlet’s Court in Elsinore to argue for Chicago’s 2016 Olympic bid. It is Not Presidential. We have no opinion about this, but man, watch Robert Gibbs respond with his trademark dry sarcasm here! Are many people capable of saying “Madrid” with such an icy-death quality? [YouTube] Read more on Michael Steele Hates America Having The Olympics!…
  daily briefing

New Details About Obama’s Big Health Care Speech Reveal This Thing Will Include Details!

Obama’s big health care legislation presentation next week will feature such novelties as an explanation of the contents of said health care legislation. [New York Times] Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens’ hiring of only one clerk for the 2010 Supreme Court regular season has many fans speculating that he could retire after next year. [LA Times] Read more on New Details About Obama’s Big Health Care Speech Reveal This Thing Will Include Details!…
  friday fun video

While We Wait For Barry’s Vice President

Here’s some lady named Tammany Hall on the teevee, making fun of the Chinese. Tiki Barber and the other gal are like, “who is this idiot?” The best part is at :11 when one of the two ladies makes this weird noise for no reason. [YouTube] Read more on While We Wait For Barry’s Vice President…
  fake plastic trees

Entire Chinese Olympics Is Elaborate Fake

Do you have the Summer Olympic Fever? No? Neither do we. But now we sort of regret missing the Opening Ceremony, which was apparently done completely with the computer game The SIMS. Read more on Entire Chinese Olympics Is Elaborate Fake…
  special olympics

Was Bush Falling Down Drunk At Olympics?

George W. Bush wasn’t just dripping sweat while acting like a lunatic at the Olympics — he also couldn’t actually stand up on his own. Jesus! See the creepy close-up, after the jump. Read more on Was Bush Falling Down Drunk At Olympics?…
  gets more ass than a toilet seat

A Children’s Treasury of Stupid Bush-In-China Pictures of Ladies’ Volleyball

So, George W. Bush sure enjoyed his Olympic Chinese holiday! Here he is with the volleyball girls, living every heterosexual man’s dream. Let’s see how many ridiculous ways your beloved Mainstream Media tries to describe this scene, in a Children’s Treasury of dumb captions about the president pounding the asses of six-foot-tall bikini girls. Read more on A Children’s Treasury of Stupid Bush-In-China Pictures of Ladies’ Volleyball…
  new fun wars

Oh No, A Battle Somewhere, What Is Wrong With The MEDIA?

“The United States urged Russia on Friday to halt aircraft and missile attacks in Georgia’s breakaway region of South Ossetia and withdraw its combat forces from Georgian territory as the situation in the former Soviet state verged on full-scale war. …Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called the parties involved in hopes of ending the fighting, and made plans to send a U.S. envoy to the region.” Many in the comments of this website have mentioned what a travesty it is that people aren’t talking about this due to the start of the Olympics. Well, no one cares about the Olympics. It’s more like: this is a problem between two countries far far away, not the United States’ problem at all, except for oil implications, so let’s stop pretending it is. Surely the folks in Georgia and Russia are caring about this plenty enough. Meanwhile, read this hilarious thread. [AP] Read more on Oh No, A Battle Somewhere, What Is Wrong With The MEDIA?…
  a dragon roars

Chinese National Pride On Full Display In ‘Washington Post’ Photo

Wonkette photo operative “Jamie” sends this scan of your friendly neighborhood WaPo. “Spectators at a morning flag-raising ceremony at Tiananmen Square in Beijing shout slogans in praise of China, whose residents are reveling in national pride,” reads the caption. So what’s up with the gal in the middle there? Was she kidnapped from Ted Stevens’ press conference? [Washington Post] Read more on Chinese National Pride On Full Display In ‘Washington Post’ Photo…
  international terrorism

WTF? A tipster writes, “Possible suicide? Chinese man in front of Obama’s office on the 7th floor of Hart [Senate Office Building], threatening to jump.” Could it be The Batman? Somebody go take a camera-phone picture. Read more on … Read more on …
 

Treehugger Hillary Calls For Fake Olympics Ceremony Boycott

Hillary Clinton is TOO liberal. Today her campaign released a statement — the first among a Major American Leader — saying President Bush should boycott the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics this summer because of China’s horrible human rights record (the cause of much protesty to-do these days). She is the biggest world leader to say this since German chancellor Angela Merkel. Unlike Merkel, however, Hillary Clinton is a loser and will never run a country. You can read Hillary’s hippie latte-drinking statement about “human rights” after the jump! Read more on Treehugger Hillary Calls For Fake Olympics Ceremony Boycott…
 

John McCain’s Batshit Senile Mother Speaks, Offends

newVideoPlayer("mcainsmom.flv", 475, 376);Sweet candied Walnuts! Get this: John McCain is in his motherfucking 70s but has a mother. You know, one of those things that children and young adults have. Well, Friday was “Bring Your 95-year old Mother To ‘Hardball’ And Watch Her Say Crazy Shit On National TV” Day for our campaigners, and Walnuts heeded the call. Watch Roberta McCain, in the video above, explain why congressman… er, senat… well some doo-hickey government employee Mitt Romney and his magic pajamas-wearing ilk are ruining the world. You’re next on her hit list, youse whiskey-toting Irish papists. Romney gives Roberta McCain a ‘pass’ for Mormon comments [CNN] Read more on John McCain’s Batshit Senile Mother Speaks, Offends…