Tag: olympics

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special All Olympics All The Time Edition

Maybe you missed that there's a sporting competition/clash of nations going on, so the NYT will make sure you have one million Olympics words to read. You think you don't need to read those words because you already saw...

Manly Vladimir Putin Cuddles Tigers Into Submission Like A Strongman Should

Don't you wish that Obama wasn't such a 98-pound weakling that just gets sand kicked in his face by Fox News on the regular? Wouldn't it be great to have a muscular bare-chested white man like Vladimir Putin, who...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Everyone Just Pipe Down Edition

Happy Super Sportsball Sunday! Go read the Times's one million pages of regular sports coverage AND thinkpieces about the Super Bowl! Or don't. Go read about Chris Christie! Or just read what we wrote about Christie already. Definitely read...

A Slightly More Sober Discussion Of President Obama’s State Of The Union Awesomeness

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out...

Mayor Of Sochi Is Quite Certain He Does Not Have Anyone Gaying Up His Town Yet

Getting hyped for the Olympics? Of course you are! Hoping you can just watch luge or curling or the biathlon or whatever strikes your fantasy without having to worry about Russia's depressingly backwards thoughts and feels about the gays?...

Pat Buchanan: When Will The Gays Stop Oppressing Putin?

Are you mad at Russia for doing this whole "arrest anybody who might like gay people" thing? Well then Pat Buchanan is mad at you. Probably. We can't really tell, but he wrote some kind of opinion piece about...

How Is Obama Secretly Gaying Today?

Everyone knows Barack Obama is probably secretly a gay homosexual gay. It's just so obvious, isn't it, what with his, like, probably gayness? He sure sets off Fox "News" mouth-breather and Brooklyn food co-op enthusiast Todd Starnes's gaydar (which, um,...

Liveblogging Tampa Wednesday: Rand Paul Ryan Rubio Olympians?

I would like to welcome you all to my first ever Wonkette liveblog of anything ever except for those three years that I was secretly running the entire site but pretending I was white people! ARE YOU READY TO HEAR...

Turk Says Olympics Turning Ladies To Men, Freepers Torn Between Anti-Feminism And Anti-Turkishness

It is a tradition as old as the Olympics itself: Some idiot notices that muscular women and muscular men, being actual members of the same actual species, look somewhat similar to each other, and declares that sports have brought...

Rafalca’s Magical Olympics, Day One: Rafalca Losing To Some Dancing Horses, Beating Others

Your Wonkette knows that it is not allowed to make any lighthearted jokes about the rich presidential candidate and his wife who own a dancing horse that is competing in the Olympics. Americans have no history of making jokes...

Wingnuts Outraged Over Socialist Marxist Hippie-Dippy Multi-Culti Antiwar Olympics Love-In

Which part of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies did you like best? Was it the plutocrats murdering the workers in the Industrial Revolution, or the pagans calling forth their gods with sacrificial virgins and maypoles? Was it the reference to...

The Proper Conservative Patriot’s Take On The Olympic Opening Ceremonies

Poor Jennifer Rubin, the unofficial public voice of the Romney campaign who continues to have a job at the Washington Post. Why doesn't your Wonkette make fun of her more often? Maybe it's too easy, but it's not like...

American Person Travels To London For Olympic Games, Doesn’t Embarrass Entire Nation

Now that poor Mitt Romney has been called out for his "rude and graceless" remarks by none other than Carl Lewis -- perhaps the greatest Olympian, who said of him in disgust, "some Americans just shouldn't leave the country"...

How Else Has Mitt Romney Insulted Jolly Olde Englande?

Mitt Romney is trying to prove his foreign policy chops are so much better than stupid hapless old Obama's, and so he and his advisors are barnstorming across London, whinging about the threat from the Soviet Union. But His...

Why Won’t Mitt Romney Root For His Wife’s Dumb Horse?

Mitt Romney has taken a look at how they do things over there in old England-Land, and has quickly come to the well-justified conclusion that their Olympics are just a hot metric tonne of garbage compared to the awesome...

Mitt Romney Now Losing Friends And Alienating People In Olde Anglo-Saxon-Lande Too

Oh Mitt Romney, please stop making us feel sorry for you. You go to Yurp so you can be a Celebrity Rock Star like Obama was in 2008, and "project leadership," and everywhere you go, you make people hate...