Tag: olympics

Athletes, Please Don’t Stick Your Wieners in Vacuums

Welcome, lovelies, to the Snake Oil Bulletin, your (semi-)weekly roundup of the choicest stuff and nonsense the internet can hurl our way! A thousand pardons for our absence last week, but we're back again to make a dent in...

Forget Ryan Lochte, Let’s Talk About This Hot Medal-Winning American Gymnast Gettin’ Nekkid!

Danell Levya has won two silver medals in Rio, and even better, he is a TOTAL feminist and a super-supporter of LGBT rights.

NBC And Fox News Very Concerned About The Cosmetic Choices Of Female Olympic Athletes!

Should they wear make-up so men like Bo Dietl don't get squicked out watching them on the TV? Let's discuss!
What are we supposed to do with these finger puppets? What are 'fingers' anyway?

Wonkagenda: Friday, August 12, 2016

You get in here and read your news brief, RIGHT NOW!

How Is The Daily Beast Being A Raging Dumpster Fire Today?

The Daily Beast thought it would be cool to publish a story that basically outed a bunch of gay Olympic athletes in Rio, some of them from 'notoriously homophobic' countries. For real, they did that.

Jenna Bush Lathers Up A Tongan

JENNA BUSH, YOUR HUSBAND IS WATCHING.

Wonkagenda: Tuesday, August 9, 2016

You get in here and read your newz breif, RIGHT NOW!

USA Swimming Won’t Let Rapey Brock Turner Swim Ever Again, What A Shame

Here's a nice story for your Friday morning!
Sad Brazil fan is sad.

Sportsball Year In Review: It Was Mostly Awful!

Sports! Oh man, sports, aren't they great? Shut up, they are too. Here now is your 2014 Wonkette Sportsball Year In Review, because why not? Off-field Hits Plague NFL Sorry to break this to you, Wonketeers, but the NFL remains the...

Rihanna’s Boobs Lift Us Up Where We Belong

What has HappyNiceTimePeople's new editor-in-chief, Sara Benincasa (THAT'S ME!), been doing over there at our sister site? Oh, you know, stuff. We chilled you out with a totally chill British lady doing mind wizarding or whatever. We creeped you out with...

Pop Music Nice Time: Austrian Drag Queen Wins Eurovision, Will Probably Make Russia Gay

Do you know what Eurovision is? Haha, you do not, because you are (likely) A American and interested in patriotic things like steaks and apple pies and baseball and cowboys and guns and American Idol and The Voice, also,...

The Daily Show Goes To Moscow. Just Like A Commie.

For the Winter Olympics, The Daily Show sent Jason Jones to Moscow, which is no longer the USSR but is now like America "with a fucked up alphabet." Best moment of the Cold War Nostalgia groove: Mikhial Gorbachev, unaccountably...

Stupidest Guest Blogger On Internet Catches Wonkette’s Unspeakable Hypocrisy On Stoner Obama Story

Well, dear readers, we have been BURNT! As Gateway Pundit guest blogger Kristinn Taylor reveals, Yr Wonkette ran a story Saturday noting that B. Barry Bamz looked a little worse for the wear in his Olympics interview with Bob...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special All Olympics All The Time Edition

Maybe you missed that there's a sporting competition/clash of nations going on, so the NYT will make sure you have one million Olympics words to read. You think you don't need to read those words because you already saw...

Manly Vladimir Putin Cuddles Tigers Into Submission Like A Strongman Should

Don't you wish that Obama wasn't such a 98-pound weakling that just gets sand kicked in his face by Fox News on the regular? Wouldn't it be great to have a muscular bare-chested white man like Vladimir Putin, who...

Sunday Bloody NYT Sunday: Special Everyone Just Pipe Down Edition

Happy Super Sportsball Sunday! Go read the Times's one million pages of regular sports coverage AND thinkpieces about the Super Bowl! Or don't. Go read about Chris Christie! Or just read what we wrote about Christie already. Definitely read...