olympics

For the Winter Olympics, The Daily Show sent Jason Jones to Moscow, which is no longer the USSR but is now like America “with a fucked up alphabet.” Best moment of the Cold War Nostalgia groove: Mikhial Gorbachev, unaccountably still alive, threatens to put Jones through a wall for trying to pull an unscheduled interview. […]

Well, dear readers, we have been BURNT! As Gateway Pundit guest blogger Kristinn Taylor reveals, Yr Wonkette ran a story Saturday noting that B. Barry Bamz looked a little worse for the wear in his Olympics interview with Bob Costas. And indeed, we asked if he was “high as fuck” or just really, really tired. […]

Maybe you missed that there’s a sporting competition/clash of nations going on, so the NYT will make sure you have one million Olympics words to read. You think you don’t need to read those words because you already saw everything on TV, but you misunderestimate the NYT for their ability to run quirky pieces that […]

Don’t you wish that Obama wasn’t such a 98-pound weakling that just gets sand kicked in his face by Fox News on the regular? Wouldn’t it be great to have a muscular bare-chested white man like Vladimir Putin, who can talk to the animals and show them who is boss, on account of all his […]

Happy Super Sportsball Sunday! Go read the Times’s one million pages of regular sports coverage AND thinkpieces about the Super Bowl! Or don’t. Go read about Chris Christie! Or just read what we wrote about Christie already. Definitely read the Dylan Farrow letter from yesterday and then promptly go fight with everyone on the internet […]

Gentlemen, did you wake up this morning with a little extra pep in your Mr. Peepers? We sure did, because WE FINALLY GOT OUR PRESIDENT BACK! It’s like that awesome hopey and changey guy from 2008 snuck back out and sucker-punched the GOP right in the nards with like a million awesome words at the […]

Getting hyped for the Olympics? Of course you are! Hoping you can just watch luge or curling or the biathlon or whatever strikes your fantasy without having to worry about Russia’s depressingly backwards thoughts and feels about the gays? Did you figure that maybe when Bamz sent a pile of homosexuals as the US delegation […]

Are you mad at Russia for doing this whole “arrest anybody who might like gay people” thing? Well then Pat Buchanan is mad at you. Probably. We can’t really tell, but he wrote some kind of opinion piece about it where he’s mad at Jay Leno for saying Russian “homosexual propaganda” laws sounded like Hitler-talk, […]

Everyone knows Barack Obama is probably secretly a gay homosexual gay. It’s just so obvious, isn’t it, what with his, like, probably gayness? He sure sets off Fox “News” mouth-breather and Brooklyn food co-op enthusiast Todd Starnes’s gaydar (which, um, we thought only other gays and their single-lady hags-we-mean-allies had, so, uh, what does that say […]

I would like to welcome you all to my first ever Wonkette liveblog of anything ever except for those three years that I was secretly running the entire site but pretending I was white people! ARE YOU READY TO HEAR PEOPLE REFERENCE BUILDING THAT OVER AND OVER AND OVER AGAIN??? I’m sure you are. Tonight, […]

It is a tradition as old as the Olympics itself: Some idiot notices that muscular women and muscular men, being actual members of the same actual species, look somewhat similar to each other, and declares that sports have brought about the “death of femininity.” The misogynist du jour is Turkish columnist Yüksel Aytuğ, who kicked […]

Your Wonkette knows that it is not allowed to make any lighthearted jokes about the rich presidential candidate and his wife who own a dancing horse that is competing in the Olympics. Americans have no history of making jokes about the playthings of the rich, in this case a German-bred mare. As Mitt Romney says, […]

Which part of the Olympic Opening Ceremonies did you like best? Was it the plutocrats murdering the workers in the Industrial Revolution, or the pagans calling forth their gods with sacrificial virgins and maypoles? Was it the reference to the Industrialization of War? Was it the stunning black British girl texting, or the dorky boy […]

Poor Jennifer Rubin, the unofficial public voice of the Romney campaign who continues to have a job at the Washington Post. Why doesn’t your Wonkette make fun of her more often? Maybe it’s too easy, but it’s not like that consideration has ever stopped us. Jen Rubin is sad today. Just a few days ago […]

Now that poor Mitt Romney has been called out for his “rude and graceless” remarks by none other than Carl Lewis — perhaps the greatest Olympian, who said of him in disgust, “some Americans just shouldn’t leave the country” — maybe his very bad news cycle is almost over. Has he said anything else awful? […]