Wonkette

Here’s some lady named Tammany Hall on the teevee, making fun of the Chinese. Tiki Barber and the other gal are like, “who is this idiot?” The best part is at :11 when one of the two ladies makes this weird noise for no reason. [YouTube]

Do you have the Summer Olympic Fever? No? Neither do we. But now we sort of regret missing the Opening Ceremony, which was apparently done completely with the computer game The SIMS. MORE »

George W. Bush wasn’t just dripping sweat while acting like a lunatic at the Olympics — he also couldn’t actually stand up on his own. Jesus! See the creepy close-up, after the jump. MORE »

So, George W. Bush sure enjoyed his Olympic Chinese holiday! Here he is with the volleyball girls, living every heterosexual man’s dream. Let’s see how many ridiculous ways your beloved Mainstream Media tries to describe this scene, in a Children’s Treasury of dumb captions about the president pounding the asses of six-foot-tall bikini girls. MORE »

“The United States urged Russia on Friday to halt aircraft and missile attacks in Georgia’s breakaway region of South Ossetia and withdraw its combat forces from Georgian territory as the situation in the former Soviet state verged on full-scale war. …Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice called the parties involved in hopes of ending the fighting, and made plans to send a U.S. envoy to the region.” Many in the comments of this website have mentioned what a travesty it is that people aren’t talking about this due to the start of the Olympics. Well, no one cares about the Olympics. It’s more like: this is a problem between two countries far far away, not the United States’ problem at all, except for oil implications, so let’s stop pretending it is. Surely the folks in Georgia and Russia are caring about this plenty enough. Meanwhile, read this hilarious thread. [AP]

Wonkette photo operative “Jamie” sends this scan of your friendly neighborhood WaPo. “Spectators at a morning flag-raising ceremony at Tiananmen Square in Beijing shout slogans in praise of China, whose residents are reveling in national pride,” reads the caption. So what’s up with the gal in the middle there? Was she kidnapped from Ted Stevens’ press conference? [Washington Post]

• WTF? A tipster writes, “Possible suicide? Chinese man in front of Obama’s office on the 7th floor of Hart [Senate Office Building], threatening to jump.” Could it be The Batman? Somebody go take a camera-phone picture. MORE »

Hillary Clinton is TOO liberal. Today her campaign released a statement — the first among a Major American Leader — saying President Bush should boycott the opening ceremony of the Beijing Olympics this summer because of China’s horrible human rights record (the cause of much protesty to-do these days). She is the biggest world leader to say this since German chancellor Angela Merkel. Unlike Merkel, however, Hillary Clinton is a loser and will never run a country. You can read Hillary’s hippie latte-drinking statement about “human rights” after the jump! MORE »

Sweet candied Walnuts! Get this: John McCain is in his motherfucking 70s but has a mother. You know, one of those things that children and young adults have. Well, Friday was “Bring Your 95-year old Mother To ‘Hardball’ And Watch Her Say Crazy Shit On National TV” Day for our campaigners, and Walnuts heeded the call. Watch Roberta McCain, in the video above, explain why congressman… er, senat… well some doo-hickey government employee Mitt Romney and his magic pajamas-wearing ilk are ruining the world. You’re next on her hit list, youse whiskey-toting Irish papists.

Romney gives Roberta McCain a ‘pass’ for Mormon comments [CNN] MORE »

There’s an exciting new website all about what a dick Mitt Romney has been to various people, and it’s all boring except for one page dedicated to Mitt’s many brushes with the Law. Also, it turns out that cornball talk is just an act and he says “fuck” like everybody else. In a weird way, Romney’s arrests sort of make us like him a little bit more, but in other ways they just reinforce that he’s a rich douchesack. MORE »