Wonkette

Each week, veteran Condiwatcher Peter Huestis (also known as Princess Sparkle Pony) provides a summary of the searing wit and infinite wisdom of America’s Favorite Princess Diplomat™!

Condi’s been a gal-on-the-go, a veritable Mary Tyler Moore of the diplotaunte circuit. She traipsed from Switzerland to Germany and then all the way to Colombia and back again. More importantly, using advanced Wonkette Shoe Identification Technology, we can reveal the shocking news that Madame Secretary has shifted her footwear allegiance from Ferragamo to Manolo. All this, Oliver North, and Robert Novak’s wistful dreams of a Condi vice presidency … after the jump!

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Reposted late due to technical error — sue us. MORE »

This week’s pre-Memorial Day edition of Wonk’d has everyone’s favorite White House golden boy, Karl Rove, and original press nightmare, Ari Fleischer, in good seats watching the Nationals. Some of the senior citizens in our government, like Antonin Scalia and Donald Rumsfeld, must think baseball is for kids — they only go to fancy parties. Maybe when Scooter Libby and Matt Cooper learn to dress properly, they’ll get invited out too. If he needs to get somewhere, Matt will probably be on Metro, along with his buddy Andy Card, as opposed to being chauffeured everywhere like carbon-hoarding Barack Obama. It’s three whole days before any more Wonk’d, so get everything you can now, after the jump!

So many games, festivals, and parties in Washington these days, and the in-crowd can’t stay away. If you see one of them, let us know by email, with “Wonk’d” or “Sighting” in the subject line, along with the powerbroker’s (or shill’s, or actor’s, of foreign head-of-state’s) name. You send ‘em, we print ‘em - everybody wins!

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Isn’t usually the prerogative of the disenfranchised to invent elaborate dystopian fantasies of what will happen under the rule of the oppressor? Exactly what part of the Bush “I’m-gonna-appoint- whomever-I-want-so- whaddya-gonna-do-about- it-nah-nanny-nah-nah” Presidency is so unsatisfying that conservatives would need to engage in this particular fantasy?

It is 2021, tomorrow is the 20th anniversary of 9/11 It is up to an underground group of bio-mechanically enhanced conservatives led by Sean Hannity, G. Gordon Liddy and Oliver North to thwart Ambassador Usama Bin Laden’s plans to nuke New York City…And wake the world from an Orwellian nightmare of United Nations dominated ultra-liberalism.

It’s not enough to control all three branches of government, gotta be the underdog, too. MORE »