Tag: olive garden

Well, The Democratic Primary Sure Did Get TESTY This Week! Your Weekly Top Ten

Wonkers. Look above. Watch the video of Wonkette Baby GRRRRRAWWWWWWRING like a lion, over and over again. Don't you feel peaceful now? Aren't you ready to agree to disagree over whether KILLARY IS BILLARY THE SHILLARY HILLARY or whether...

Olive Garden Parent Company Darden Finds Exciting New Way To Screw Your Server

Olive Garden is paying its workers with debit cards that rack up fees every time you try to actually use them. What's in YOUR wallet?

This Week In WTF Restaurant Stories. Seriously?!

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we bring you some of the most spectacularly insane restaurant stories we've ever heard. As always, these...

Stories Of Restaurant Employees Who Had Their Just Revenge

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we return to stories of righteous restaurant revenge. As always, these are real emails from real readers. If...

Hillary Clinton And Ted Cruz Go To The Olive Garden With Satan. Your Weekly Top Ten.

Guten Morgen, Wonkers, WTF does that headline even mean? Did Hillary Clinton and Ted Cruz actually have a caucus with Satan at the Olive Garden and that's how she winned all those coin flips in the Iowa caucuses? Ted...
ooh, red eyes!!

One Million Moms Furious Olive Garden BFFs With Satan Now

Oh hey, look, One Million Moms, aka Seventeen Angry Dipsticks, is back! They're still mad about Fox's TV show "Lucifer," like they were before, but now they have a new target: Olive Garden, which sponsors the show. If you're not familiar...

Stories of Restaurant Customers Who Were Just The Best (Yes, Really)

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, as a palate cleanser from the last two weeks, we've got a subject new to Wonkette: truly...

More Stories Of Terrible Restaurant Customers, Part 1

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. This week, we've got week one of two consecutive weeks of our old favorite subject, Worst Customers. (Part 2...

Restaurant Manager Rips Lick Knob Customer Into Tiny Pieces, Scatters Them To The Wind

Who's ready to see an online restaurant reviewer and terrible human (sorry to be redundant) get the righteous comeuppance they so deserve? Oooooh, we can't wait! Via TheBitchyWaiter, the trouble started when a diner at Kilroy's Downtown Indy in Indianapolis,...
Your Christmas Wonkette Baby will overtake you with Christmas cuteness.

Donald Trump, Lying Carly Fiorina And War On Christmas RAGE! Your Weekly Top Ten

Oh hi, Wonkers, are you ready for the official War On Christmas week? Have you polished all your Festivus poles and candy-cane dildos, to wave at all the nice fundamentalist Christians who are just trying to go to church...

Your Never-Ending Olive Garden Shrimp Bowl Sauteed In Never-Ending Child-Slave Tears

So we've got good news and bad news. The bad news is that a mortifying percentage of the shrimp we eat comes from slave labor. The good news is, jk, there's no good news, humanity is a miserable plague. According...

Coal Fights Back Against Obama’s War On Coal With Chemical Attack In West Virginia

Coal! It's dirty, brittle, and buried deep underground. In a word, it's American. Which is why Fox News declared that Obama declared war on it, when he announced his intention to "promote fuel-switching from coal to gas for electricity...

A Children’s Treasury of CEOs Throwing Very Grown-Up Tantrums Over Obamacare

If we were the CEO of a multi-billion dollar company, we would happily make ten cents less per unit in order to make sure that our employees have health care coverage. This would be DOUBLY true if we were...

Michelle Obama Tricks Obese Into Boycotting The Olive Garden

Who is the latest casualty in Michelle Obama's war against calories and fun? Prepare yourselves, because this one is a huge blow to this country's Proud Obese and their important culture and lifestyle: the Darden Restaurant Corporation is what...

Christine O’Donnell Bravely Refuses To Be On TeeVee Dancing Show

Delaware clown-fish Christine O'Donnell used to go on the teevee all the time because hey, free snacks backstage! Maybe even a few hundred bucks! And she would just say whatever popped up in her weird head -- masturbation, "dates"...

WHERE Do Olive Garden’s Allegiances Lie: With David Letterman, Or Some Funny PUMA Blog?

What are the PUMAs up to, and why? It is the impossible question. Have they uncovered new evidence of Obama campaign voter suppression (sexism) in some early caucus state? Maybe they'll do that next week. For now, they're at...