John McCain Wants To Bomb AARP
Wednesday, November 18th, 2009
Strife among the Olds! The principal actor in this particular Olds Drama, as in all Olds Dramas, is the elderly peacebomber John McCain, who is something like 87 years old. Standing opposite John McCain is the corrupt League of Olds, the AARP. Once friends, now foes, after the AARP recently *ruined everything* by endorsing ObamaCare, the chief tenet of which — and you can read this for yourself in plain language, on any number of Internet sites — is to kill white women and children over 65 years old. John McCain is so furious about this endorsement that he plans to use his powers as the elected President of the United States to bomb the AARP, so as to liberate it. MORE »











Getting tired of THIS STUFF, aren’t you? Well, suck it up. At this point, we want to pressure Obama and Congress to incorporate as much rationing and Death Paneling as possible into a final health care bill, with very loose criteria. You’re eligible for Medicare, human? KILL. This will be the single determining criterion. It will save us so much money, for sexy parties. So along with the old racist up top, we will now present a few other candidates for Death Panels, from a recent town hall protest in Dallas. Thank you to operative “Lisa” for these freaking gross images.
RNC chairman Michael Steele — the “Republican Barack Obama,” because he is black — took to the pages of local war & murder digest The Washington Post yesterday 

Well, it appears we have an answer to
BARACK OBAMA SEXES UP THE OLDS, WITH HEALTH CARE! AARP, the shockingly powerful old-person lobby, is about to have Obama entertain the retired peoples with a live webchat! We cannot embed the video here, so go watch it with the early-bird dinner crowd and report back with spy info!
PREHISTORIC SPECIMEN CONFINED TO HOSPITAL: Ancient Robert Byrd is in the hospital battling a staph infection, which is precisely the sort of infection that old people tend to pick up in hospitals. SOMEBODY GET HIM OUT OF THAT SWAMP OF GERMS. P.S.: He is so very old. [