old handsome joe biden
Happy Birthday, Dr. Jill Biden! How Will You Celebrate? Wow, Really?
Happy Birthday, Second Lady Jill Biden! You’re an accomplished educator (yay for you and high school English teachers* everywhere!), an advocate for community colleges and for military families, a Blue Star Mother, an advocate and fund-raiser for breast cancer research, and according to the Infallible Font of All Knowledge, your stint as an adjunct prof [...]
Here Are Your Joe Biden/Jessica Biel/Justin Timberlake Sexy Caption Contest Winners!
Today we challenged you — CHALLENGED YOU — by explaining how, despite how erudite and witty you are, as soon as we give you a caption contest YOU ARE TEH SUCK. Oh, do you disagree? Then go look at the captions in our previous caption contest, for which THERE WAS NO WINNER, only EVERLASTING SHAME.
Apparently There Is Nothing Left To Be Mad About: Sean Hannity Jumps On Obama Daughters Vacation Train
Oh this is cute. Fox News sort of Democrat person Kirsten Powers tries to tell Sean Hannity he is “insane” for being mad that the Obama daughters went on vacation. “That’s insane?” he asks. “No, that’s MY money. Arglebargle WHITE HOUSE TOUUUUUUURSSSSSS.” He also jumps all over Dumb Stupid Jerk Joe Biden for going to [...]
Newsmax Shocker: Stupid Dumb Jerk Joe Biden Slept In Hotel, Is Your New Marie Antoinette
Go to the kitchen and fix some macaroni and cut-up hot dog’s, Michelle Obama, there is a new Marie Antoinette in town running up shocking tabs on the taxpayers’ dime — one hundred million dimes? One thousand dimes? Somewhere in between? MATH. And that someone is Old Handsome Stupid Dumb Jerk Joe Biden, who thinks [...]
Sad Slob Mitt Romney Just Deliberately Messing With Our Heads Now
Hey, remember that Mitt Romney guy? Yeah, us neither, really, but apparently he was expecting to be president, since it was his birthright or something? And now, he’s just wandering around in a sad daze, with only his hundreds of millions of dollars for company. Poor dude. So like any US American who’s feeling a [...]
An Open Letter To Donald Trump Re: Buy Everything Day At WonketteBazaar.com
Dear Muskrat-Headed Ego-Beast From Hell Mr. Trump, We see that Barry Bamz has not taken you up on your generous offer, and that despite your seditious patriotic efforts to spark a pro-liberty uprising, every indication is that That One is still on track to be inaugurated for a second term in January. So here you [...]
Joe The Plumber II: The Bidening
You will remember 2008, yes? When “Joe the Plumber” seized the nation’s imagination and served as the nation’s templar for our hopes that there was a secret groundswell of angry anti-Obama voters who would make the race close and give reporters something exciting to cover on Election Night? And then how none of that happened [...]
Watch Out, America: Handsome Joe Biden Wants To Snuggle You
Guys, Wonkette’s Los Angeles-based Editrix is probably still asleep at this early hour, so we’ll just take this opportunity to discuss a story that may produce some mixed emotions for her. We mean, on the one hand, who doesn’t love hundreds of words in the paper of record about Old Handsome Joe Biden all getting [...]
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