old handsome joe biden

Talia Maselli of Newington, Connecticut, is officially Yr. Wonkette’s favorite teen of the day, because of her excellent taste in men. Last fall, she sent a prom invitation to her ideal date: Old Handsome Joe Biden. Smart girl, thinks ahead. Unfortunately the Veep couldn’t make it, even after this seemingly irresistible pitch: “I am inviting […]

The White House has released a report on campus sex assault, which is good because apparently we forgot to Take Back the Night at Occidental, and Patrick Henry, and, hmmm, all the other colleges and universities in the entire land. Luckily, here is Joe Biden to YELL AT RAPISTS AND DOMESTIC ABUSERS. Let’s watch, together!

Instagram, it’s this thing. We do not actually know what it is, you look at other people’s lunch? And old pictures of Joe Biden and Chris Christie, who, judging by babby (and we are not being sizeist here, just historical-minded), seems to have begun his weight gain as sympathy bloat? How undapper and unstyley he […]

Attention, America: Old Handsome Joe Biden has the Instagram now. Please keep your sextpectations to yourself.

Joe Biden, he’s this guy. He’s a big dumb jerk of a guy who thinks illegal immigrants are “American,” as even if. “Eleven million people living in the shadows I believed are already American citizens,” Biden said. “These people are just waiting, waiting for a chance to be able to contribute fully, and by that […]

It is a bit quiet news-wise today, so let us talk about Roger Ailes’ dick. Oh sure, we could talk about any other subject under the sun besides Roger Ailes’ dick. The terrible cold weather, the latest slap on the wrist for JPMorgan, S.E. Cupp taking the early lead for dumbest column any pundit will […]

Joe Biden, you are 71 years old today, God Love You. Here are some of the reasons you’re a Big Fucking Deal.

ZOMG you guys, the Weekly Standard has proof Barack Obama and Old Handsome Joe Biden are doing gay sex in each other’s bottoms, like we just said in the headline. Are you ready? Are you ready for this terrible proof? ARE YOU SURE????? Okay then. Follow us after the jump to see the SHOCKING EXPOSE […]

See this Washington Post video? It is not all that great. You don’t have to actually click on it. But you COULD. I mean, we are not telling you not to. It’s just that we wanted to bring you that AP photo right at the beginning from the time we saw it this morning, but […]

Treat yourself to some Motivational Biden. [MotivationalBiden]

Happy Birthday, Second Lady Jill Biden! You’re an accomplished educator (yay for you and high school English teachers* everywhere!), an advocate for community colleges and for military families, a Blue Star Mother, an advocate and  fund-raiser for breast cancer research, and according to the Infallible Font of All Knowledge, your stint as an adjunct prof […]

Today we challenged you — CHALLENGED YOU — by explaining how, despite how erudite and witty you are, as soon as we give you a caption contest YOU ARE TEH SUCK. Oh, do you disagree? Then go look at the captions in our previous caption contest, for which THERE WAS NO WINNER, only EVERLASTING SHAME.

Oh this is cute. Fox News sort of Democrat person Kirsten Powers tries to tell Sean Hannity he is “insane” for being mad that the Obama daughters went on vacation. “That’s insane?” he asks. “No, that’s MY money. Arglebargle WHITE HOUSE TOUUUUUUURSSSSSS.” He also jumps all over Dumb Stupid Jerk Joe Biden for going to […]

Go to the kitchen and fix some macaroni and cut-up hot dog’s, Michelle Obama, there is a new Marie Antoinette in town running up shocking tabs on the taxpayers’ dime — one hundred million dimes? One thousand dimes? Somewhere in between? MATH. And that someone is Old Handsome Stupid Dumb Jerk Joe Biden, who thinks […]

Does anybody here think newly resworn President Barack Hussein Obama is giving it to his beautiful wife like a husband should? (Or like our generous Wonkers would, so selflessly?) Does anybody here think newly resworn President Barack Hussein Obama is, say, puttin’ it to his wife like Old Handsome Joe Biden puts it to Dr. […]