December 6, 2013
old handsome joe
Oh, golly, Old Handsome Joe… You know, we get you, but not everybody gets you. You understand we literally love you to death, but sometimes, you sort of literally put your foot in your mouth? Like during this meeting with five women at Japanese internet concern DeNA, where you asked the three married gals, “Do [...]
Old Handsome Joe Biden accidentally called the wrong Martin Walsh Tuesday night to congratulate him on being elected Mayor of Boston. Instead of reaching the new mayor, OHJB called a former Ted Kennedy staffer with the same name, starting the conversation with a friendly “You son of a gun, Marty! You did it!” After Walsh [...]
Oh, hey, it’s “Statesman McCain” today! In Chicago today, Walnuts said that he believed that Hillary Clinton would make a “very strong candidate” for the 2016 Democratic nomination: I don’t think there’s any doubt she has widespread support. Her work as secretary of state, with the exception of this issue of Benghazi — which isn’t [...]
There has been some dumb bullshit that is dumb, and bullshit, lately. But Ted Cruz calling Joe Biden a joke that doesn’t need a punchline, is some real fucking chootzpah. Let us review!
Welcome to a Gummint Shutdown Edition of the Derp Roundup, your weekly accumulation of asinine asshattery from the aether that was too stoopid to ignore completely but that we weren’t inclined to waste a full-length post on. To start off, let’s do a little bit of mythbusting! We caught Tucker Carlson’s Home for Lying Liars [...]
Your Old Handsome Joe Biden hurt some sensitive fee-fees Thursday when he compared Republicans who held back reauthorization of the Violence Against Women Act to early hominids, calling them “this sort of Neanderthal crowd” in the House. Advocates for the Neanderthal community were quick to point out that they were actually much nicer than House [...]
What is going on here, HENGHHH? On the day we get news that at least 95 people have been bathed in their own blood by the Egyptian military, the White House tweets this bizarre picture of our own Old Handsome Joe Biden laughing at a camel. Even more terribly, Joe Biden looks like a Make-A-Wish [...]
Hey, whatcha reading? Oh, something besides this GQ story about Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Bless Him and Keep Him? Why are you so dumb? Here, let us read, together, the things in Jeanne Marie Laskas’s profile that will make you most want to crawl into Joe’s lap and … well, that’s all. Just the [...]
Do you remember when you were young and you played…well, whatever the hell imaginary thing you played? Dress-up, tea party (no, not that kind), transformers, whatthefuckever? You probably grew out of that by, say, college, because then girls (or boys! or whoever!) started looking at you a little weird. This is not true if you [...]
As exciting as all this Boston stuff is, somehow sitting in front of our computers waiting for a boy to die does not feel “good.” We thought you could use this. Thank you, “DangerGuerrero,” for your service, and all our Twitter friends for sending it.
You guys, we are sorry to have to report this, but it seems your precious little boyfriend, one “Dumb Stupid Jerk Joe Biden,” has been going on vacation. While the Yahoo commenters among us make do with their Valentine’s dinners of cut up hot dog’s and anniversary gifts of a punch to the nads and [...]
Some time ago — last Thursday? last year? — some “folks” were all HAI WHITE HOUSE WHY COME NO JOE BIDEN TEEVEE KARDASHIAN? Now, the White House has given us all the Biden we could ever want with its web series “Being Biden.”
The sophisticated gentlemens of National Review Online are really, most terribly sorry for maligning our Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him and Keep Him. But why are they sorry? They are sorry they are so bad at Tubechop that it was even clear to BreitbartTV that they had cut him off in the middle [...]
Wonkers, until now were your panties too dry? Well Old Handsome Joe Biden is from the government, and he’s here to help.