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old handsome joe

Do you remember when you were young and you played…well, whatever the hell imaginary thing you played? Dress-up, tea party (no, not that kind), transformers, whatthefuckever? You probably grew out of that by, say, college, because then girls (or boys! or whoever!) started looking at you a little weird. This is not true if you [...]

Yes it’s from a few days ago (from the Time 100 gala, the one where Rush Limbaugh thought Old Handsome Joe was drunk because he said Americans were resilient), but jesus how boring is today’s news?

As exciting as all this Boston stuff is, somehow sitting in front of our computers waiting for a boy to die does not feel “good.” We thought you could use this. Thank you, “DangerGuerrero,” for your service, and all our Twitter friends for sending it.

You guys, we are sorry to have to report this, but it seems your precious little boyfriend, one “Dumb Stupid Jerk Joe Biden,” has been going on vacation. While the Yahoo commenters among us make do with their Valentine’s dinners of cut up hot dog’s and anniversary gifts of a punch to the nads and [...]

Some time ago — last Thursday? last year? — some “folks” were all HAI WHITE HOUSE WHY COME NO JOE BIDEN TEEVEE KARDASHIAN? Now, the White House has given us all the Biden we could ever want with its web series “Being Biden.”

The sophisticated gentlemens of National Review Online are really, most terribly sorry for maligning our Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him and Keep Him. But why are they sorry? They are sorry they are so bad at Tubechop that it was even clear to BreitbartTV that they had cut him off in the middle [...]

Wonkers, until now were your panties too dry? Well Old Handsome Joe Biden is from the government, and he’s here to help.

Wonkers, please to have your Official Reminder that if you want romantic panties (with teeth!) for your damsel for Valentine’s Day, you must order them by anytime tomorrow (Thursday, we guess), in order to get them on time through the US Mails. All right! Good post! Let’s look at what else you can buy for [...]

National Review Online informs us we can buy “erotic” “fan-fiction” about Barack and Michelle Obama for the low low price of just $17.95. Fuck that. “Hello baby,” said Barack Obama to his wife, Michelle Obama. Barack Obama was the president of the United States, and his wife, Michelle Obama, was the First Lady of the [...]

Here is a photo of Joe Biden getting out of his limousine, looking like a Boss (in point of fact, he is only the boss of the Senate). Sunglasses are a very good look for the VP, whose official Wonkette title is now Old Handsome Joe Biden, God Love Him. (By the end of his [...]

What’s Joey B. been talkin’ since singlehandedly saving the country or something (we don’t know, the Kossacks seem pretty ready to murder)? Here is Joe Biden over the past 16 or so hours: What’d you tell the Senate Dems? “This is Joe Biden. I’m your buddy.” What’s gonna happen with the House? “I think we’re [...]

You will have to go elsewhere for your creepy Elmo dolls (in fact, you probably want to just click that Amazon box in the righthand sidebar so that when Amazon forces your local mom and pop store out of business, at least your local mom and pop website gets a cut). We we do not [...]

Well well well! It looks like Tucker Carlson’s Daily Caller will be okay even in the face of star cub reporter Matthew Boyle leaving the DC’s black-thug beat for Breitbart! In fact, they are so okay that this will probably be All Daily Caller Day, because fuck if they aren’t a pile of good time [...]

Dumb Joe Biden, what have you done now!!! Keith Koffler, of White House Dossier, is here to tell us in the excellent journalistic scoop “’Middle Class Joe’ Takes Thanksgiving on Nantucket.” Vice President Biden, who thinks of himself as middle class and self-identifies with average Americans, embarked Tuesday for the exclusive resort island of Nantucket, [...]

You know that one Onion story that’s nearly mandatory in any discussion of the general awesomeness of Old Handsome Joe Biden, right? (Frankly, we doubt we even needed to link to it, but it’s a habit by now.) You probably also know that Biden knows about the meme, and thinks it’s “hilarious,” right? You might [...]


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