Tag: Oklahoma

Just being a good Christian

Ted Cruz Wishes Child Sex Slaves Would Think Of The Unborn Babies

<a href="http://wonkette.com/597828/everybody-hates-ted-cruz-and-his-stupid-foreign-born-face"></a>It's easy to forget, what with all the breaking news about Ted Cruz's alleged sex scandals and dildo-grabbing, that the man currently running second place for the Republican presidential nomination actually has a day job, as the most...

Oh Look, Oklahoma Being Effing Awful Again

We usually skip Oklahoma when listing Worst Goddang States In The U.S. of Us. Maybe it's because we primarily associate it with an old-timey musical and forget it is an actual place where people live and work and don't just sing songs...
Could you please go be poor somewhere else? KTHXBAI

Make Less Than $9500 Per Year? Oklahoma Will Help You By Axing Your Medicaid

Republicans in Oklahoma's House of Representatives are apparently sick and tired of Florida and Maine being the shittiest to their poor people. So by an overwhelming majority, the Oklahoma House voted last week to kick 111,000 single parents off...

Republican Candidates Trying To Fill Ben Carson-Shaped Hole In Their Hearts

Uh oh, it's a day in 2016, which means it's time for the remaining GOP candidates to come together for spiteful purposes, infecting our television sets and Commodore 64 computers with bile and derp. Yes, we mean like in...

Oh Yeah, Ted Cruz’s Dumb Face Won Some States Too

In all of the Super Tuesday sexcitement of celebrating Women's History (Making) Month, with our vaginas, and all of our laughing so hard at Republicans for making Donald Trump happen, we almost forgot to rag on Ted Cruz. Shame...

Marco Rubio Wins A State, Still Second-Place Champion Of Our Hearts

Aww, serial state-loser Marco Rubio finally won a place! We wonder, though, if this means he'll have to bow out of his run for Second-Place President of the United States of America? Aww, poor Marco; no matter what he...

It’s A Bernie V. Hillary Knock-Down Drag-Out Fight! (At My Mama’s House, Starring Us)

It had been a very good day. We went to the corner of Beard and Farrall in Shawnee, Oklahoma, and held signs that read Bernie (my mom, husband, and daughter) or Yellow Dog Democrat (me)! Most people waved back...

West Virginia Lawmakers Will Protect Uber Drivers From Gays Who Want To Ride Them

Seems every time Uber shows up in a new place there's a fight. Usually it's over whether the company is pushing taxis out of business or adequately protecting its drivers or customers, yadda yadda. But West Virginia is special,...

Snake Oil Bulletin: All The Single Demons In Formation To Put A Super Bowl Ring On It

Greetings, friends and loved ones, and welcome back to the Snake Oil Bulletin! Did you happen to catch the Annual Sportsball Faire last weekend? Both sportsball clubs sported their hardest, but one club sported the ball better than the...
Just gonna put this here one more time.

Michigan Lawmakers Tried To Solve Flint Water Crisis By Banning Buttsex

You might not think of Michigan as being in the running for finding the gays the ickiest, but it's right up there with somewhere like West Virginia or Oklahoma or Kentucky. Thinking about the gays just makes the Michigan state...
The monument is 6 feet high, so that man and buggy must be HUGE

Oklahoma Has Cunning, Wildly Unconstitutional Plan To Keep The Gays From Marrying

What's an Oklahoman to do after the mean nasty libturd Supreme Court declared marriage equality the law of the land, full stop, no takesies backsies in 2015? Why, make it illegal for anyone with an STI to get married,...
ooh, red eyes!!

One Million Moms Furious Olive Garden BFFs With Satan Now

Oh hey, look, One Million Moms, aka Seventeen Angry Dipsticks, is back! They're still mad about Fox's TV show "Lucifer," like they were before, but now they have a new target: Olive Garden, which sponsors the show. If you're not familiar...
I AM THE DUMMEST AND I BREATHE OUT OF MY MOUTH

Tom Cotton Screwing Up The One Good Thing Congress Might’ve Done This Year

Wow, it looks like Congress is actually going to accomplish something for once, on prison reform! Surely, no one can screw this one up for us, right? Ohhh, you sweet summer child. So who's here to rain on our happy...

White House: Sarah Palin Might Be A Idiot, But Domestic Violence Is Serious Business

Wednesday afternoon, Sarah Palin explained that her son Track beated up his girlfriend because Barack Obama gave him PTSD. At the time, we said, "OMG WTF ARE YOU GODDAMNED KIDDING US, SARAH?" (Or something like that, with a lot...

Sarah Palin: It’s Obama’s Fault My Drunk Son Punched His Girlfriend, For America

Good news! Sarah Palin recovered from Tuesday's hangover just in time to make it to Donald Trump's afternoon rally in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Bad news? Sarah Palin made it to the rally and opened her mouth, and this is what came out...
S-M-R-T-S!

Sarah Palin Endorses Donald Trump For Emperor Of Alaska And Also Too America!

BREAKING NEWS! On Jan. 19, in the year of our gun-totin' Lord 2016, Sarah Palin will saunter out onstage with Donald Trump in Ames, Iowa, where she will caress his beautiful mane and say, "I also too Sarah Palin...