Oklahoma

This is Cathy Cummings, the Democratic candidate for Leftenant Governor in the great state of Oklahoma. Her campaign is maybe probably (certainly) doomed, because Democrat in the reddest red state, but let us just imagine that Oklahoma is a state where a Democrat could win a statewide office. [Editrix's note regarding that link: it is […]

If everything is bigger in Texas, then we can’t wait to attend a big ol’ Texas-sized Gay Wedding. And pretty soon that could happen, per the NYT: A federal judge in Texas struck down the state’s ban on same-sex marriage on Wednesday, ruling that the laws restricting marriage to a man and a woman violated […]

Well! Here’s a charming little local business in Enid, Oklahoma, run by a “real character”: Gary’s Chicaros restaurant and bar, run by one Gary James, who doesn’t deny that he throws out any patrons he doesn’t like the looks of. His official restaurant T-shirts say so, with a clever promise of an “n-word-free zone.” (The […]

Welcome, O Wonkers and Wankers, to another edition of the Derp Roundup, the weekly feature where we clean the sticky residue of stoopid stories from our browser tabs, cut it with a secret mix of chemicals from Freedumb Industries, and serve it up to you in an elixir that’s easily as tasteful and memorable as […]

Happy weekend, wonktastic ones! You know how it works: Every weekend we see what horrible crud is stuck in our open browser tabs, bring you the stories that are too stoopid to ignore, but not quite worth a full post on their own, and then spend the rest of the day waiting for Heidi N. […]

Are you familiar with this state “Oklahoma”? It’s one of the ones in the middle there. It’s full of Democrats who voted for Randall Terry for president — actually beating sitting “Democrat” “president” Barack Obama in the primaries — probably because it is full of super-lefty civil libertarians who hate drones and banks or something, […]

Sally Kern, she’s this lady. “Oklahoma Republican” says everything it needs to say, right there, but she is an extra special Oklahoma Republican, mostly because she has P-E-N-I-S on her mind all the time. Gay P-E-N-I-S! Being crammed down her throat! (Luckily, that’s where her clitoris is.) But Sally Kern has a new bill in […]

Listen up, heathens. Oklahoma Sen. James Inhofe just needs to explain a thing or two to you people who think we need to extend emergency unemployment benefits that ended December 28. He has just two words that explain why we don’t need to do that: Polar Vortex. It’s easily the best cryptic advice since that […]

You may have read about the performance-art “Satanists” who have offered to build a monument on the grounds of the Oklahoma Statehouse; under the law’s clause claiming that the state doesn’t favor “any particular religion or denomination,” it looks like the law pretty much says the state would have to allow it, right? Not so […]

Don’t worry, Christians! The brave and smart members of the Oklahoma Legislature are working on saving the Sacred Baby Festival from all those pagans and liberals and secular humanists who are trying to ban Christmas forever, just like they made sure that no one can ever forget that the 10 Commandments exist. They’ve introduced two […]

In a move that pretty much says “I’ll see your rhetorical question and raise you an ugly public monument,” a group calling itself the “Satanic Temple” has offered to display a big ol’ monument in honor of the Hornéd One, to be installed on the Statehouse grounds near the state’s display of the 10 Commandments. […]

So you already knew about the kerfuffle over the Defense Department’s fascist oppressive decree that, Yes, the National Guard actually is part of the military, so married partners of gay service members actually do get to sign up for spousal benefits. And you knew that Texas is saying “Chain of command? What chain of command? […]

Happy Gayvember, everyone! How is the Pentagon defying G_d today? Per Stars and Stripes: Defense Secretary Chuck Hagel on Thursday sharply criticized U.S. states that are defying the Pentagon by refusing to allow National Guard facilities to issue ID cards that enable same-sex spouses of military members to claim benefits. “This is wrong,” Hagel said […]

After sleeping and dreaming of Canadians stabbing our ears with nasal whining, we unfortunately woke up to Ted Cruz still rambling on the teevee, somewhat incoherently, about how Obamacare is the love child of a threesome between the Plague, Hitler’s mustache, and Nickleback. Because we hate ourselves and love Our Glorious Reader all too much, […]

We started the morning with the tale of responsible gun owner Shemane Nugent, who accidentally forgot that there was a handgun in her carry on luggage; now, even more brilliance from the responsible gun owners of America. How about Wendell Docteur of Stratford, Connecticut? He was out for a ride on his bike with a […]