Oklahoma
American democracy’s most persistent old fart Ron Paul has announced that he no longer cares for democracy per se in the traditional sense of trying to “win votes” from “voters,” because this is a hard thing to do, when your platform is mostly insane. “We will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states [...]
Arizona knows what is important, what is crucial to a functioning society, and one of those things is allowing Americans to exercise their second amendment rights just about everywhere, including public buildings, where people sometimes go when they are angry or mentally ill and kill their co-workers or strangers, but never mind. In the off [...]
Speaking of prostitutes, big oil’s top call girl Sen Inhofe wants to kill fuel economy backed by automakers, small biz, enviros, & consumers — Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) March 6, 2012 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (SO MANY-BRANCHÈD, THE TREE OF CAMELOT) has, oh dear, it turns out that men everywhere, regardless of chad preference, [...]
Hello. What are you doing? It’s time to figure out what some quadrilateral land masses think about three organic masses and one gas, which were each forced to apply for Obama’s job because their tyrannical wives and gas-wife made them. We would say, We are watching this very closely, but that would be plagiarism, so [...]
Oklahoma’s obtuse personhood law made it through the state Senate on Thursday by a margin of 34 imbeciles to 8 brains, and will now go to the House, where there are even more “interior person”-loving junkies than in the Senate. This means that, yes, fertilized eggs shall have “all the rights, privileges, and immunities available [...]
To make a point, which is a thing that congresspersons occasionally do, Democrat Constance Johnson, State Senator from Oklahoma, proposed an amendment to the state’s personhood bill this week that would render punishable by law ANY sperm that does not enter into a competition with its squiggly brethren to make a baby! The personhood bill, [...]
What’s in your anusburger, Oklahoma, besides cow rectums, sawdust and glue? It can be hard to tell! Have you ever, as a result, worried to yourself, what if there are also ground up aborted human fetuses in here and I don’t even realize it? Oklahoma state Senator Ralph Shortey — his real name! — worries [...]
Oklahoma’s 10th Circuit Court of Appeals struck down Oklahoma’s proposed amendment to ban the use of Sharia law in the state Tuesday, helping to catapult this evil maneuver into oblivion. The court’s ruling upheld a lower court’s 2011 decision to block the amendment, which received 70 percent support when it was passed in a 2010 [...]
Do you remember Oklahoma state Rep. Sally Kern? She just loves those gays, if by “loves” we mean, wants to send them to Gitmo, for terrorism. And since it’s almost the Very Special 10th Anniversary of 9/11 and all, it seems she figured this would be a good time to remind America of her cause, [...]
Lately God has been shooting firestorms at the wingnuts in the American South like a furious undersexed teenager holding a paintball gun, something that has left wingnuts a little confused. Republican governors are the most mystified of all about this turn of events, because they are being asked to show something called “leadership in times [...]
Who knows that in Oklahoma, the governor’s name is Mary Fallin, raise your hand? And it is pronounced “Mary Failin’” as though it rhymes with “Palin.” WHAT ARE THE ODDS? Therefore, on that basis, we will share with you this ridiculous video according to the laws of ridiculousness, in which staunch social conservative Mary Fallin’s [...]
The Earth was tired of ventriloquist dummy Jim Inhofe walking around with those sweaty Koch fingers up his butt and clacking his jaw all day long about how climate change is all super fake, so nature cold attacked Inhofe with a diseased giant green blob. No, really! Was there a clever trap? No, because Inhofe [...]
A small-town bank in Oklahoma is under siege by governmental secularizing forces this holiday season, as the Federal Reserve is very jealous of their impressive Jesus-themed bank and wants to ruin it for everyone. According to a local teevee news station website, the Fed comes ’round every four years with a list of regulations to [...]
