Tag Archives: Oklahoma

  beware those muslims being muslims in public!

Homeless Crazy Jesus Lady Knows Who’s Being Invaded By Muslims (It Is Oklahoma)

Guys, do you remember Christine Weick? Of course you remember Christine Weick. Christine Weick is the nice and not at all bugshit crazy American Patriot who drives around in her SUV from town to town — she is NOT HOMELESS, SHUT UP, SHE HAS A BANK ACCOUNT AND EVERYTHING — rambling on about Muslims and homosexuals and how Monster Energy Drinks are of the devil. And here’s the good news: She’s coming to save you, Oklahoma, from the scourge of the Islamics doing prayers to their false god and stuff. Read more on Homeless Crazy Jesus Lady Knows Who’s Being Invaded By Muslims (It Is Oklahoma)…
  Science Is Hard So Don't Believe It

Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything

Atmospheric Emitted Radiance Interferometer near Barrow, Alaska. Note that there's still snow. SO FAKE.
In some pretty cool science that won’t change the mind of a single climate denier, climate scientists have observed carbon dioxide trapping heat in the atmosphere, which you’d think would be enormously important evidence that would put an end to the “debate” over global warming. We’re going to have to call Salon’s headline about the news just a tad optimistic, though: “Scientists stick it to climate deniers: Study provides direct evidence that human activity is causing global warming.” Read more on Scientists Directly Observe Greenhouse Effect, Like That Proves Anything…
  This does NOT mean wingnuts are just like ISIS

ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!

Ha ha ha, sometimes there are Serious News Headlines that just make a person fall into fits of LOL-giggles, and Talking Points Memo has served one up! We were just clicking through our Facebook, or maybe our news reader, we cannot remember, we were drinking, and saw the news that “ISIS Bans Teaching Evolution In Schools.” Extremist terrorist Muslims and wingnut Christians, they are just like us each other! Read more on ISIS And American Red States Agree: People Aren’t Descended From Some Damn Monkey!…
  Another Great Idea From The Sooner State

Oklahoma Republicans Want Proof You Don’t Have Sex Cooties Before You Get Married

Herpes: they're kinda like diamonds
If you live in Oklahoma and would like to get married, great! You can do that, even if you want to do it gay style, because Oklahoma is all open and liberal like that now. All you need is an application for a marriage license and a note from your doctor that your naughty bits don’t have diseases, and then just pick out your china pattern and — Oh, HANG ON. What? Read more on Oklahoma Republicans Want Proof You Don’t Have Sex Cooties Before You Get Married…
  the derp is as high as an elephant's eye

Oklahoma Won’t Let A.P. History Defame America No More

George Washington crossing the Red River
The War on Advanced Placement U.S. History (APUSH) racked up another successful squirmish Tuesday, as the Oklahoma House Education committee voted to ban any state funding of the classes, because APUSH is bad for America. Read more on Oklahoma Won’t Let A.P. History Defame America No More…
 

Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!

Screw you, huddled masses
Wednesday was supposed to be the day President Obama officially rolled out the Kenyan welcome mat for all them illegals who’ve already snuck across our border to infect us with diseases and their strange foreign languages. But oh no, you can un-unfurl that Hispanic flag over the White House, Mr. Thinks He’s So President, because United States District Judge Andrew S. Hanen has put a stop to that nonsense, at least for now. Read more on Judge To Obama: Stop Letting In All Those Immigrants Who Are Already Here!…
  second amendment remedies

Oklahoma Runs Out of Varmints and People to Shoot, Turns to Flying Robots

The corn is as high as a Predator's contrail
The good congresscritters of Oklahoma are up to some legislatin’, folks. A bill has advanced to their senate floor that will make it legal to shoot drones out of the sky. That SPROING you heard is the sound of Rand Paul’s spontaneous freedom boner. Read more on Oklahoma Runs Out of Varmints and People to Shoot, Turns to Flying Robots…
  Joe Arpaio Better Watch His Back

Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!

Meet your 2020 Republican primary contender, America
David Clarke is the sheriff of Milwaukee County in Wisconsin, and he has been a hero to Wingnut America ever since he ran radio ads a couple years back encouraging people to arm themselves instead of calling 911. On Tuesday, he played to his real constituency, the Fox News audience, when host Brian Kilmeade asked Clarke to comment on yet another shooting of a black suspect by a police officer, and instead launched into a rant against the NAACP and single black mothers. Read more on Wingnut Sheriff To Single Black Moms: Stop Making Cops Shoot Kids!…
  thanks obama!

Oklahoma Rep: Hope You Like Your ‘Common-Law’ Marriages, Godless Hippie Homo Folk!

Todd Russ likes steers, not queers If you’re like us — and we know you are because we’ve seen you in the shower — you find the ongoing right-wing freakout over gay marriage delectably amusing. Whether it’s the Florida clerks of court stopping all courthouse weddings so they wouldn’t have to pronounce Adam and Steve husband and husband (in fairness, they’re all from the hillbilly parts of the state, which, contrary to popular belief, is not the whole thing, shut up comment section; we also have Miami) or Mike “Fat Again” Huckabee, constitutional expert and Ted Nugent fan, declaring that hey, maybe states don’t need to listen to the Supreme Court anyway, there’s an endless bounty of schadenfreude to be had, and we need to enjoy it while we can. Read more on Oklahoma Rep: Hope You Like Your ‘Common-Law’ Marriages, Godless Hippie Homo Folk!…
  Sincerely held historical 'beliefs'

Oklahoma Just Wants To Protect Hobby Lobby’s Right To Teach Your Kids ‘Bout Jesus, No Big

Time for another history lesson
From the very same state that brought us the unconstitutional law to ban even the whispered mention of Sharia comes a shiny new bill to protect Hobby Lobby’s right to teach your kids about Jesus, America’s greatest founding father. Read more on Oklahoma Just Wants To Protect Hobby Lobby’s Right To Teach Your Kids ‘Bout Jesus, No Big…
  Fashion Police

Oklahoma Legislator Wants Hoodies To Be Illegal When Cops Feel Like It, Punk

Image via KOTV video Oklahoma state Sen. Don Barrington has decided to use the power of his office to take a bold stand against depraved criminals menacing the public. He’s apparently taken inspiration from noted crime experts like Geraldo Rivera and  an Oklahoma City liquor store manager, taking aim at the greatest threat imaginable to the safety of his constituents: outerwear garments with attached head coverings. Read more on Oklahoma Legislator Wants Hoodies To Be Illegal When Cops Feel Like It, Punk…
  Florida: A Living Segregation History Museum

If Florida Counties Have To Marry The Gays, They Just Won’t Marry Anyone. Happy Now, The Gays?

Like any agenda could be more gay than a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper
So now that the Supreme Court has crammed marriage equality down Florida’s throat, some Florida counties are responding with a move that seems almost reflexive for Southern states that don’t want to have the wrong people’s “civil rights” forced upon them. Rather than perform same-sex marriages, the clerks of the court for five Florida counties have decided that they just plain won’t perform any marriage ceremonies at their courthouses anymore: Read more on If Florida Counties Have To Marry The Gays, They Just Won’t Marry Anyone. Happy Now, The Gays?…
  We Completely Left Out Odin Again

2014: The Year In God-Bothering

If it's one thing I can't stand, it's people groveling.
God had another big year in 2014, especially right near the end, when His Servant on Earth, Bill O’Reilly, finally declared victory in the War on Christmas. So we can look forward to a 2015 that’s free of that particular topic, we bet. Even so, it would appear that there are still a few areas of American life where religion has caused a wee bit of a ruckus. Like, let’s say, the courts, where the Supremes declared that the Hobby Lobby corporation’s sincerely held religious beliefs can exempt them from following laws they don’t like. Not that there’s going to be any weird fallout from that decision, like people suing for the right to ignore child labor laws because God says it’s OK. Read more on 2014: The Year In God-Bothering…
  Pretty Princess Or Petty Tyrant?

Obama Proclaims Self Princess-For-Life Of America

So arrogant!
In case you have any doubts that Barack Obama believes himself to be not merely an employee of the People of the United States, but rather an emperor or a czar or a pretty pony princess, look no further than this June 2014 photo of him succumbing to the temptation to wear a crown. Politico attempts to spin it as a cute end-of-year story in which the would-be monarch is merely goofing around with some girl scouts: Read more on Obama Proclaims Self Princess-For-Life Of America…
  buzzkills

Nebraska and Oklahoma Harshing Colorado’s Mellow With Totally Uncool Lawsuit, Man

Colorado is coming up on its one-year weediversary! In keeping with the paper gift traditionally given on first anniversaries, two of its neighbors went in on a lovingly handcrafted lawsuit. In the most serious legal challenge to date against Colorado’s legalization of marijuana, two neighboring states have asked the U.S. Supreme Court to strike down the history-making law. Read more on Nebraska and Oklahoma Harshing Colorado’s Mellow With Totally Uncool Lawsuit, Man…
  Your Morning Maddow

Morning Maddow: Tom Coburn Says Saving Veterans From Suicide Costs Too Much (Video)

Here's what it takes to get Rachel Maddow to cry
It’s certainly not news that suicide among veterans is a big problem. It’s also not news that expanded services for veterans is usually a popular idea. Consider the outrage earlier this year at delays in treatment at Veterans Administration hospitals, which resulted in the resignation of Eric Shinseki. And so it was pretty encouraging last week that, even in this do-nothing Congress, the House managed to pass the Clay Hunt Veterans Suicide Prevention Act, named after a Marine veteran who committed suicide in 2011 after being diagnosed with PTSD. There’s also broad bipartisan support for the bill in the Senate. Only one small problem: retiring Sen. Tom Coburn, who has placed a hold on the bill because its $22 million cost over five years is just too unspeakably high, and because, he says, the bill duplicates other services the VA could provide without new legislation. Read more on Morning Maddow: Tom Coburn Says Saving Veterans From Suicide Costs Too Much (Video)…
  Trolling The Ancient Yuletide Carol

Satanic Temple Getting The Devil All Over Florida Now

In a victory for something, we guess, our favorite Separation Of Church And State trolls at the completely serious “Satanic Temple” have succeeded in winning a place for their “Fallen Angel” diorama in the Florida State Capitol. You may recall that last year, their effort to have the poor wingless thing added to the Capitol’s holiday display was rebuffed as “grossly offensive,” although the committee in charge of the seasonal idiocy did allow a Festivus pole made of beer cans and a statue of the Flying Spaghetti Monster made of whatever you make that out of. Read more on Satanic Temple Getting The Devil All Over Florida Now…
  Convenient Timing...Or Murder???

Did Obama Murder This Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Last Night? Probably

Another victim of Obama's 11th dimensional chess game?
So far, nobody’s calling it a conspiracy, but it’s the only reasonable conclusion: just days before the election, a nice old man running for Congress died after being hit by a car, and you just know that Obama had to be involved. Earl Emmitt Everett, 81, a retired teacher and Korean War vet, died Sunday after being critically injured in an “accident” Friday. He’d been running a “decided underdog” campaign against Oklahoma Republican Markwayne Mullin, and … oh, Everett was a Democrat? Never mind then. Just an accident. Read more on Did Obama Murder This Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Last Night? Probably…
  The Power Of Christ Compelled Him

Silly Oklahoma Christian, You Are Supposed To Burn The Witch, Not Behead Him

If beheading was good enough for Leonora Dori Galigai, it's good enough for college guys who play Magic: The Gathering
OMG there’s been another religiously motivated beheading (fine, near-beheading) in Oklahoma! In Stillwater on Wednesday, 21-year-old Isaiah Zoar Marin had been watching a whole bunch of YouTube videos about Christianity, when apparently, the Spirit of the Lord drove him to take literally the infallible word of God in Exodus 22:18: “Thou shalt not suffer a witch to live.” Read more on Silly Oklahoma Christian, You Are Supposed To Burn The Witch, Not Behead Him…
  Another Hotbed Of Extremism (We Mean Breitbart)

Dead Breitbart Outraged Muslims Helped Rebuild Oklahoma After Tornado

Muslim sharks will behead you!
Hey, just how paranoid and crazy is Dead Breitbart today? Well, howzabout this here headline? WHITE HOUSE SENDS ‘THANK YOU’ TO BEHEADER’S OKLAHOMA MOSQUE CONGREGATION Good gracious gravy, why is the White House praising the nest of vipers that spawned Oklahoma beheader man Alton Nolen? After all, as all right-wingers know, Nolen singlehandedly brought Jihad to America a couple weeks back when he cut off a woman’s head in a horrible murder, even though the local DA continues to think, wrongly of course, that Nolen was more motivated by being fired for being a racist than by his religion — probably because, as everyone knows, Oklahoma prosecutors are so notoriously PC. Read more on Dead Breitbart Outraged Muslims Helped Rebuild Oklahoma After Tornado…