Oklahoma
Uh Oh Someone Is Politicizing The Tornado In Moore, Time To Get The Pitchforks
Sheldon Whitehouse, the senator from Rhode Island, went on a nice 15 minute tirade about climate change, but he accidentally forgot to tell James Inhofe to eat shit.
Good News! Massive Killer Tornadoes Just The Normal Kind, Not the Global Warming Kind (Updated)
(See update at end) Blah blah blah, OF COURSE the meteorologist interviewed on MSNBC says today’s tornado that flattened Moore, Oklahoma, is the biggest tornado in the history of the planet. HE WAS ON MSNBC, DUH. We have little of consequence to add beyond GENERAL FUCKING OUTRAGE!!!1! that we have BROKEN THE FUCKING WEATHER but [...]
Hero Oklahoma Rep. Leads Charge To Save Poor From Eating Food
DDM here, drinking an Irish Coffee and wondering how the GOP will find new ways to screw the poors today. I’m new here, and have only been guestblogging for about a week. But I want to submit an entry for Legislative Shitmuffin of the Year (Federal Level Edition). He is my old pal, Rep. Frank Lucas (R-Black [...]
ALEC Is Meeting In Oklahoma City; What Should Commie Mom Put On Her Protest Sign?
Wonkers, help a sister mamacita communista out. ALEC — the patriots behind such pieces of legislative perfection as Stand Your Ground laws and ag-gag bills and anti-renewable-energy cool stuff — is meeting today at Cox Convention Center in Oklahoma City, and Commie Mom does not know what to put on her protest sign. And that [...]
Jim Inhofe Introduces Bill to Provide Desperately Needed Bullets for Starved American Guns
Terrible news, America. After decades of stockpiling obscene quantities of killing implements for fun and murder around the world, the good times are coming to an end now that Senator Jim Inhofe has gotten wind of the real reason the Department of Homeland Security is buying 1.6 billion rounds of ammunition: the government is trying [...]
Pro-lifey Oklahoma State Rep Doesn’t Care About Your Smartypants Kid’s ‘Potential To Benefit Society’
Every sperm is sacred, every life is precious, and every fetus just might be the next Mozart or Jesus or something. That’s what Oklahoma state Rep. Mike Reynolds (R-OF COURSE) believes, which is why he introduced the Personhood Act of 2013 earlier this year: to protect every life, or potential life, or potential thought about [...]
Clarence Thomas’s Wife, Ginny Thomas, Does Not Think The Supreme Court Is All That
Do you get emails from lovable font of beneficence (and apparent morning drinker) Ginny Thomas? Why not? Don’t you want to hear her plaintive cries and teeth-gnashing about how John Boehner and Eric Cantor and Mitch McConnell won’t give her an interview for her Daily Caller diary vlogs? Like this, for instance: Dear friend, Before [...]
Oklahoma State Senate Bill: Employers Ain’t Gotta Insure Contraceptives Because Women Are Meant To Be Mommies
Oh, hey, here’s a new twist on an old story! You already know how having to pay for insurance coverage for birth control is a violation of an employer’s sacred right to tell employees how to live, but a genius state Senator in Oklahoma, Clark Jolley (R-Not All That Jolly) has just placed himself in [...]
How Did It Take Five Whole Weeks To Blame These Shootings On Welfare Mom Fraud?
Last week, we listened with interest as Michele Bachmann BFF and teen-girl-cry-maker Bradlee Dean explained that all these shootings we keep having are because of overmedication of children. We were sympathetic to the underlying statement, but somewhat taken aback by his proposed solution: to beat the murder and mental illness out of our children, like [...]
Minnesota, Oklahoma, Tennessee GOP Lawmakers Want More Guns In Schools; Utah 6th Grader Decides Not To Wait
Good news, everyone! We are having a national dialogue on guns! Unfortunately, it seems to be just about as coherent as our national dialogue on race. In Minnesota, Oklahoma, and Tennessee, GOP lawmakers plan to introduce legislation that would arm public school teachers in those states. Meanwhile, in Utah, a sixth-grade boy brought a handgun [...]
Poor Dumb Oklahoma Humiliates Itself Again, Sets It In Stone
Good news for Rage Against the Machine fans – another Republican loves your favorite band! Apparently Paul Ryan isn’t the only one who enjoys loosening his tie for a little “the power” fighting. Mike Ritze, current head of the Department of Forced Religion for the ruling Oklahoma Military Junta (and state lawmaker in his spare [...]
Tulsa Cop Sues For God-Given Right To Not Have To Talk To Islamics
A police officer in Tulsa has been suspended because he arrested a minority without reasonable suspicion for a vague and unspecified “crime.” No, just joking, they’d never be suspended for that! But he was suspended for refusing to attend a mandatory cultural event at a mosque. A Tulsa police officer and devout Christian is suing [...]
Will This Republican State Senate Candidate Beat His Opponent, From Jail? Probably, It Is Oklahoma
Well here is a nice young man, Fred E. Ray Smith, running for Oklahoma state Senate, from jail, where he was taken for warrants and drunk driving and driving without a license or registration, and also he owes so much child support and his ex has a protective order out against him. We assume he [...]
Oklahoma Congressional Candidate Vows War on Texas if Elected
What are politicians promising prospective constituents in campaign ads these days, “fiscal responsibility” or some such perhaps? LAME, and also a terrible lie. Fuck that. Oklahoma Democratic candidate for Congress Rob Wallace promises not to let Texas steal any of Oklahoma’s shit, that’s what. Time somebody did that. Here, he’ll shoot at a water jug [...]
Ron Paul Plots New Democracy-Lite Path To Convention Glory
American democracy’s most persistent old fart Ron Paul has announced that he no longer cares for democracy per se in the traditional sense of trying to “win votes” from “voters,” because this is a hard thing to do, when your platform is mostly insane. “We will no longer spend resources campaigning in primaries in states [...]
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