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Tag: oil spill

Smoke on the water

Poor Oil Giant BP Has To Pay $18.7 Billion Just For Wrecking Gulf Of Mexico

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowment for Oil Spill Blogging and Oily Coastlines. Hooray, the worst oil spill ever is finally going to be paid for, at least some -- BP agreed Thursday to a record $18.7...
You can still see some sand, so it's not that bad.

Congrats, Santa Barbara! You Got Oiled By One Of America’s Slimiest Pipeline Companies!

This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of oil spills, oil industry nastiness, and coastal sliming. So here's the good news about Tuesday's oil spill in Santa Barbara County, California: It's nothing compared...
Oh, that North Dakota Oil Boom

Exploding Train Brings Fresh Infusion Of Burning Toxic Sludge To West Virginia

This post sponsored by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of oil spills, pipeline disasters, oil train explosions, and ironic locales If nothing else, you have to appreciate the poetry of where the latest oil train...

Friendly Flying Death Robots And Mystery Bird-Killing Gunk: Your Life-Sucking Environment Roundup!

This week in environment news, California officials are baffled by some mysterious black gunk that kills waterfowl, while techbros in North Carolina and Mexico try to make sure that Skynet happens before we destroy the entire planet. For the last week, ducks in...
You now have the Narwhal Song going through your head. You are welcome.

Shell To Pay Nigeria $83.5 Million For Oil Spills, Instead Of Original $6000 Offer (Not A Typo)

This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair for coverage of Oil Spills, Oil Drilling, Oil Corruption, and Pathetic Compensation Offers From Oil Companies. Here's a sort-of Nice Time story. Royal Dutch Shell, the international giant...

BP Chief To Gulf States: Suck It, Losers

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowment for Oil Spill Blogging and Bait Shop. Are there business courses specifically geared to teaching you to be a corporate dick? If there are, we have a candidate to teach a...

Human-Shaped Bag Of Greed BP Exec Will Have To Pay Monies To Government For Profiting From Oil Spill

This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair For Oil Spill Blogging And Insider Trading. Sometimes we reach the end of the week and it is so hard to decide who the biggest asshole of the past...

FAA Lets Exxon Decide Whether Aircraft Can Photograph Oil Spill, You Know, For Safety

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair for Oil Spills and Whatnot. Today in "just who in the hell is running this place?" Wonkette presents: Exxon. Ya know, usually our corporate overlords do a swell...

Casey Anthony Trial Coverage Gives Rush Limbaugh Great Abortion Joke

Your Wonkette has been fastidiously trying to ignore anything related to this bizarre, sad Casey Anthony case, not only here but in life, because once upon a time there was such a thing as an "OJ Simpson trial," which...

Obama Nominates Leon Panetta To Lead War Department

Old-timey Clinton hack and current CIA Top Spy Leon Panetta is slated to take over the War Department! Do we mean, "The Department of Defense, Heil Hitler?" Nope! The War Department. Because when's the last time the United States...

Happy ‘BP Destroyed the Gulf of Mexico Forever’ Day!

Good morning, dead baby dolphins! It's hard to believe that today marks the first anniversary of the Gulf of Mexico being poisoned forever. Does anyone even remember what the Gulf was like before murdered sea creatures started washing up...

Bobby Jindal’s Wife Getting Very Interesting Charity Donations

In an alternate universe where Bobby Jindal never opened his adorable mouth about letting volcanoes kill us all, Bobby Jindal is engaged in an epic struggle with Herman Cain and Newt Gingrich to be the next president of the...

Libyan Pilots Ordered To Attack Civilians, Defect To Malta Instead

Two Libyan air force pilots landed their Libyan death zeppelins (?) in Malta, after refusing orders to slaughter civilians from the air -- because sometimes you just have to do the right thing, instead of committing mass murder. In...

Halliburton Guy Taking His Smoke Break Responsible For Gulf Spill

A Halliburton technician encharged with monitoring pressure data on America's most hated oil rig, the Deepwater Horizon, failed to see signs leading to the explosion that resulted in this year's Gulf oil spill because he was taking a break...

Cool New Bobby Jindal Pop-Up Book Blames Obama For Entirety of Oil Spill

Bobby Jindal is not just a governor looking to run against Obama for president: He also happens to be a beautiful aquatic bird who was personally coated in oil by the Evil President while trying only to help...

Happy Nine Years of Fighting for Nothing In Afghanistan!

Happy "Whoops, We Invaded Afghanistan" Day! (Of course, back then it was called "Operation Enduring Hooray We 'Liberated' Afghanistan from the Towelheads.") Nine years ago today, America sat on its XXL fundillo and "channel surfed" for cool night-vision footage...