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Tag: oil

Is It Bad For Philippines’s President To Kill 6,000 People? Trump’s SecState Just Doesn’t Know!

Human rights? We don't recall Trump saying we had to think about those anymore.

Sad Donald Trump Can’t Kill All The Wind And Solar Power Just Yet :(

Turns out Donald Trump may not be able to force everyone to work in a coal mine after all.

Your Senate Sunday: What’s The Deal With The Dakotas? Do We Really Need Two?

This week's profile of 2016's U.S. Senate races is chock full of Dakotas. Sorry, not the Fanning girl.
Haw haw, fuck you, Earth!

Donald Trump Knows Less About Energy Than Sarah Palin Does. Let That Sink In

Donald Trump just loves coal and oil, they're just tremendous and terrific. YOOOGE.
Maybe not that bright a guy. It's possible.

Pathetic Loser ‘Reporters’ Ask Donald Trump Questions, Expect Answers. Sad!

Some really weird stuff out in media land the last few days: Suddenly, several people interviewing Donald Trump have actually taken the time to interrupt his stream-of-gibberish talking points and say, Hey, Donald? You are saying words, but they...

More Stories Of Incredibly Stupid Restaurant Customers

Welcome back to Off The Menu, where we bring you the best and strangest food stories from my email inbox. Today, we've got one of the classics: stories of fantastically dumb restaurant customers. As always, these are real emails...
That's the face he makes when he Trumps in his pants.

Let’s Order Chinese Food And Watch Donald Trump’s Brain Essplode

Donald J. Trump does not like losing. He's not losing yet, but his stranglehold on American wingnuts is faltering, and he knows it. And Trump definitely doesn't have the temperament for losing, as we can see in his literally...

Congressjerks Threaten To Bomb Paris Climate Talks With Snowballs, Derp

Negotiations on an international climate deal are scheduled for December, and a couple of the Republicans' top climate change deniers in Congress aren't going to let Barack Obama and a bunch of scientists ruin America. Not on their watch. Sen....
Unfair! Ted Cruz is much easier to hit with sticks! So Biased!

Donald Trump Wishes We’d Invaded Mexico For Doing 9/11, Maybe

The Great American Hairball, Donald Trump, reportedly offered an amusing variation this weekend on his longstanding view that the Iraq War was a huge, not-classy mistake. At a meeting of the conservative Hollywood group "Friends of Abe" (Lincoln, not Vigoda),...
Smoke on the water

Poor Oil Giant BP Has To Pay $18.7 Billion Just For Wrecking Gulf Of Mexico

This post made possible by the Patty Dumpling Endowment for Oil Spill Blogging and Oily Coastlines. Hooray, the worst oil spill ever is finally going to be paid for, at least some -- BP agreed Thursday to a record $18.7...

America’s BFF Saudi Arabia Says Dancing Makes You Gay, Which Is Obvious Science Fact

Our bestest friend Saudi Arabia knows what is up. While the religious freedom American Jesus people are still stuck in the past, saying that your mother made you gay because she was too nice, or your father made you...
Look at these arctic fox babies. LOOK AT THEM

Obama To Save Lazy Polar Bears Even Though They Don’t Even Have Jobs

This post supported by a grant from the Patty Dumpling Endowed Chair For Occasional Coverage of Not Spilling Oil All Over the Damn Planet With the Republicans' top priority being the building of a pipeline to transport some of the...
DRAINAGE, Eli, DRAINAGE

Utah Plans To Just Take Federal Land, Anticipates No Real Problem With That

We interrupt your regularly scheduled program of tragic police shootings of young black men with this BREAKING news from Utah. Beginning on Dec. 31, the state of Utah plans to "seize" 31.2 million acres of land currently owned and...
Wait, you're saying she was still on Fox? Huh.

Sarah Palin Is A Communist RINO Now

Niche lifestyle brand Sarah Palin has endorsed a Democrat in Alaska’s race for governor. Really! Former Gov. Sarah Palin has endorsed gubernatorial candidate Bill Walker. "Last night my family, along with Byron and Toni Mallott, and our campaign staff...

Happy Exxon Valdez 25th Anniversary Day! What Fish Will You Murder To Celebrate?

This post brought to you by the Patty Dumpling Endowed Blogging Chair For Oil Spill Clusterfucks. It's been a quarter-century since the oil tanker Exxon Valdez spilled 11 million gallons of oil in the formerly known as pristine Prince William Sound,...