oil
It’s getting warm again, which means it’s time for for the polar ice caps to start melting, and for glorious Northwest Passages to open up everywhere, and for shipping and extraction and all things industrial to bloom. The boat ride from Shanghai to Hamburg is a lot quicker this way, but I don’t know, shit [...]
You do not meddle with the primal forces of nature — or punk the Bureau of Land Management! (Same thing.) Tim DeChristopher, an environmental activist currently serving a two-year sentence in California’s Herlong Federal Correction Facility for winning an auction on a gas and drilling auction on public land and then was all “HAHA KIDDING! [...]
There is a phrase that Socialist Jewishes like to say each other (with their hands tightly grasping all their Socialist Jewish munneez, of course!). That thing they like to say is, “We see the world not as it is, but as we are.” It’s from something called “Talmud,” we guess? Anyway, horrible, loud, and disgusting [...]
Speaking of prostitutes, big oil’s top call girl Sen Inhofe wants to kill fuel economy backed by automakers, small biz, enviros, & consumers — Robert F. Kennedy Jr (@RobertKennedyJr) March 6, 2012 Robert F. Kennedy Jr. (SO MANY-BRANCHÈD, THE TREE OF CAMELOT) has, oh dear, it turns out that men everywhere, regardless of chad preference, [...]
Shrill caustic harpie Michele Bachmann is so excited to destroy any rare ecosystem at all with her maniacal dream of drilling gaping holes into the country’s environmental preserves that she (predictably) forgot to check her Everglades National Park treasure map to see whether there was actually any oil buried under her latest senseless target to [...]
Socialist government pensioners “the police” had to swing by the office of radioactive skin cancer stick John Boehner after someone spotted three rogue suitcases at the door with signs taped to the front of them saying, “jobs” and “oil” and “gas.” But, uh, NO FEAR: the sassy little Mars Rover that the Ohio bomb squad [...]
Once upon a time, Sarah Palin actually had a job. She was elected governor of Alaska! And, for a few months at least, she often went to work and even made a brief effort to “help Alaskans” who weren’t named Palin. The primary legacy of Sarah Palin’s only actual full-time job was the increased taxes [...]
Almost a year after the worst oil spill in Recorded History, the picturesque Gulf Coast is once again teeming with life: From Mexico to Florida, small children are building sand condos, birds are squawking “thanks for cleaning all that oil off me, you guys rule,” and delicious popcorn shrimps are jumping out of the clean [...]
After three straight days of debate, the Republican-controlled Wisconsin Assembly passed Scott Walker’s erotic union-busting fantasy earlier this morning, “before sleep-deprived Democrats realized what was happening.” The bill now heads to the Senate, where it will probably stay for quite some time, since Senate Democrats are still eloping in Illinois. Anyway, here is what happened, [...]
A British court ruled on Thursday that Julian Assange is an international INTERPOL Amber Alert Threat and must be extradited to Sweden immediately, so that he doesn’t miss his connecting flight to Bagram. (How many hours of “hanging on a meat hook” will it take before Julian confesses that he is Un-American, just like Scotland [...]
Because we are a dumb political joke blog, we spent all day writing about Sarah Palin’s “Lou Sarah” account on Facebook and other shoddy, paltry bits of American Public Life instead of the actual political news of the day. What is wrong with us? Oh, right, we are trapped in a dipshit business of chasing [...]
