Deep Space Aliens Destroy Corn Field With Sarah Palin Cutout
Friday, September 26th, 2008
Did you see the movie Signs, where, uh, Jack Bauer or whatever was the alien preacher and destroyed Jesus’ corn fields and then was killed by water? Well it was a weird movie and now look at this: a corn field in Ohio has been completely destroyed with a likeness of this idiot, Palin. A maze. It took “an artist from Idaho at least eight hours to mow down stalks for the maze.” Repugnant. [AP, "The Corn Maze"]











It’s Caroline Hergenrother! Do you know Caroline Hergenrother? Caroline Hergenrother! She’s just to the right of the friendly wiener. She’s a Republican state House candidate in Ohio, is Caroline Hergenrother! And this weekend, she was dancing at a bar with someone who wasn’t her husband, so her husband got drunk and started punching everyone in the bar — including Caroline Hergenrother, his wife, accidentally! Caroline Hergenrother, YOU SO CRAZY CAROLINE. Check out her
NEW STATE POLLS!: From Time/CNN, conducted Sept. 14-16, in Battleground States. Florida: Obama 48, McCain 48; Indiana: McCain 51, Obama 45; North Carolina: McCain 48, Obama 47; Ohio: Obama 49, McCain 47; Wisconsin: Obama 50, McCain 47. Residents of these states should expect to see an steady influx of lawyers over the next six weeks. Lawyers! And awful lawyers at that, shipped wholesale from outer space in toxic cartons of live rats. [
Even though the Internet has already concluded that Barack Obama lost the election after some unknown wingnut vice president lady gave one surly speech last week, we couldn’t help but check out the electoral map anyway, just for kicks. Above is the fun
The hottest ticket in America tonight is Barack Obama’s all-star oldies concert at Denver’s Mile High Stadium, during which he will sink a thousand three-pointers from downtown Ancient Athens. But don’t feel bad about missing history or whatever, because John McCain is also having some sort of sporting facility event, on Friday — he will appear with his veep pick at “Wright State University’s Nutter Center” in some little town in Ohio. Ha ha, it is called “Nutter Center.” Anyway, there are only 10,000 tickets available, and they’re all pretty much still available. Cindy McCain may pay you a hundred bucks and a vicodin just to keep a seat warm for an hour. [
For Christ’s sake,
Huzzah, here are some new fake polling results from Quinnipiac today: Obama 47, McCain 43 in Florida; Obama 48, McCain 42 in Ohio; Obama 52, McCain 40 in Pennsylvania. Now Obama will be president for life and McCain will be banished to Mongolia to start a new life as “Maverick of the Yaks.” [