One of the Festivus Miracles of American Journalism is that the Wall Street Journal is such a very good newspaper despite the daily presence of its editorial pages, which are run by a couple of brain-damaged wingnuts who would be unwelcome on AM talk radio, as callers. Today, one of these comical editors has typed up a wonderful economic theory about the current global recession which was caused by unmitigated over-leveraging of fanciful mortgage-based securities whose existence was encouraged by artificially cheap and unscrutinized credit and the resulting collapse of those securities’ values and the resulting credit crunch combined with the deeply intertwined decline of the real estate, construction, mortgage, investment and commodity markets, which was the primary and undisputed cause of the halt in consumer spending which has unarguably created a feedback loop of unemployment, debt default, foreclosures and negative economic activity all over the planet Earth: This was all actually caused by somebody not saying “Merry Christmas” at the mall! MORE »

Barack Obama got in big trouble this week for going to this big church in Chicago because the retired reverend there once said some uncomplimentary things about the American Tradition of Slavery, but it turns out the Reverend Jeremiah Wright is no stranger to people who like to be president. In fact, Rev. Wright was at the White House taking Bill Clinton’s confession after our nation’s most tragic moment, when Hillary had to take the 3 a.m. call because Bill was getting sucked off by a fat gal in the Oval Office. Wait, what? MORE »

Have you heard of “ATLAH”? No? Then maybe you aren’t a crazy Jesus preacher who decided this nonsense word was spoken unto him by, uh, the Almighty, because God pronounces “Harlem” as, uh, a completely different nonsense word. Meet the Honorable Reverend Doctor James David Manning, PhD, who also says “negro” a lot and calls our new president Barack Obama a “pimp” and a “Mac Daddy.” Let’s watch his crazy YouTubes together! MORE »